So angry what is wrong with some parents

You're just perpetuating the drama by messaging the other mum and it will achieve nothing positive.

Your dd should have called you; just have a chat with her about ding that next time.

Very interested to know her response. If she knew she should have gone after your dd. I certainly would have.

I'd be interested to read the other mum's side of this story... OP only has it from her own 14yo, those renowned paragons of truth 😂

This is extreme.
I find it hard to believe the sleepover mum- or me- cannot persuade a 14 yr old to stay in the house for 30 secs longer without laying hands on her or locking her up. It's not Jeremy Kyle. We don't have to be rolling around on the floor. Or revealing state secrets.

So what is winter when it can be dark at 6pm?

They also operate in the light.

What's the time limit for something bad to happen to a child alone in the dark? Predators are opportunistic.

"DD had an argument with a friend at a sleepover and was told to get out the house. On her way out the friend's parent stopped her and demanded that DD gave her her mum's phone number. DD just wanted to get out and refused. The other mum then physically stopped her from leaving and kept insisting that she unlocked her phone and gave her the number."

Really?

Oh, I can easily stop a 14 yr old leaving the house for the few seconds it takes to get a number. And I would.

The point was that the mum couldn't have told OP that her DD had left.
So DD was no longer there to ask about her mum's contact details.

OP needs to think about responsibility here.
Either she thinks the responsibility is with the parents i.e. her and the other mum, in which case they should have each other's contact details and some discussion about expectations.
Or she trusts her DD to act responsibly and ring if necessary.

She is complaining that the other mum didn't prevent her DD from leaving the house. I have no idea how the other mum would actually do that. If DD didn't even want to wait outside while she waited 2 minutes for her mum to come, she was hardly going to want to stay in the house after an argument with her friend.
And then there is no way for the other mum to contact her to tell her that DD has gone.

By asking the DD. I would have done that

I still can't work out how the OP thought the other mum could get in touch with her as she's currently scrolling FB to find her! You can't physically stop a 14 year old from leaving your house, she didn't have any way to contact you and your daughter was perfectly capable of phoning you herself - and should have given that she was the only person who knew that she wasn't meant to be out on the streets at that time.

14 yr olds are not known for good sense.
This was the responsibility of the mum of her friend.

At 14, DD should have phoned you asking to be collected. You were relying on her to phone with any emergency, given that you and her mum hadn't swapped numbers.

It's not safe if no-one knew the 14 year old (or any age) was doing it. So friend's mother thinks OP's DD is upstairs. OP thinks DD is at friend's. No contact perhaps till morning at breakfast when OP's DD is not there. Friend's mum rings OP to check her DD is at home and she is not. She has been missing since 10 last night and no-one knew. Not safe at all. DD should have phoned OP. She should also have told friend's mum (and so should friend) she was leaving and that person should have phoned OP in case her DD didn't (because 14 year olds have no idea of the dangers of walking home in the dark when no-one knows where they are). Did friend's mum call OP at all?

I think there is a difference between "letting" (I would certainly not plan for teen DD to walk home at 10pm on her own ) and thinking it is the most awful thing ever if it happens.

In your case, DD is home safely, I would think it was less than ideal, but I would not think it was the other parent's fault. DD is at an age where she needs to be capable of making judgement calls herself. She thought it was fine to walk home on her own. If you disagree, you need a conversation about why this is so.

🤣🤣

I agree I would not allow a 14 year old to walk home alone at 10. The mother is responsible for her as she was a guest in her home.

So what would you do if you have young children at home in bed as well?

Time to have a conversation with your daughter about how to make sure she makes it home safe in the evening and your expectations.

Please don't blame sleepover mum. This isn't a primary school sleepover.

Me too OP. I live in a really safe area and still I wouldn’t let my 15 yo DD walk alone at night.

I find it much more worrying that you allow your child to sleep in a house you don't know the adults well or have contact details. I would think she is as unsafe in that house with unknown adults as she is walking home. A lot of abuse happens in these situations. None of the parents here were doing the right thing.

'I' do not do this - my daughter has dance class almost every night, finishing up sometime between 8-10 pm. We either walk or drive up to meet her. They all come out together and maybe 1/3 of them have parents there at this point - they're 12-16 years old. The others just walk home. I am in the suburbs of a city so personally I think it's too risky as it's not super busy on the roads but also not super quiet. Other parents have made other assessments. When they were littler they all got driven around but once the girls hit high school the parents have started phasing this out. Obviously at some point before 16 I'm going to have to let her do this, otherwise Uni will be a massive shock to the system!

I agree with a lot of others that this isn’t on the other Mum.

She doesn’t even have the OP’s phone number and expecting a lift home for a 10 min walk (half a mile?) is surely overkill. Ideally she would have phoned or texted to give OP a heads up to maybe walk out and meet her halfway but they’ve never exchanged numbers so 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t wait for a reply on Facebook Messenger - if you’re not friends on Facebook the message may not even pop up, and so many people rarely use Messenger, it’s a long shot she’ll receive it.