So angry what is wrong with some parents

They've been friends since the start of secondary school and you don't have contact details for the other parent?

I think the jury is probably divided about not doing this for new friends at 14, but it's very lax at 11.

Stastically an assault or abduction is very unlikely

Have you spoken to your daughter since last night?

Has the friend ever stayed with you?

You think there was less rapes and knife crime before CCTV footage and doorbell cams than now? @VestibuleWeaver

Has she replied yet?

Poor girl 😔 yeah I definitely did it when I was that age, but there was absolutely a big group of us, I was never on my own. I hope her parents have learnt their lesson a bit after that... 😬

LOL, yeah kids did go off in the day for hours on end some years ago, but not 7 year olds. IME it was children who were 10-11+ and they always had a sibling or friend with them. Indeed most of the time, there would be between 4 and 7 children together aged between around 10, and maybe 13. This 7 year old child just wanders about on her own, knocking on people doors to see if anyone wants to 'play.' Her mum hardly ever knows who she is with, or where she is.

My neighbour said she saw the little girl over a mile from home, crossing the main road, walking in the opposite direction of the village last week, but she couldn't stop, as she had an urgent appointment that she needed to get to.

As I said, she is 7!

.

The OP lets her child sleep over with total strangers, without ever meeting them, speaking to them, or getting their contact details.

It would not seem that the OP was that concerned about her child encountering weirdos, predators, and perverts, etc.

That was just... summer holidays in the 90s, wasn't it? 😂

I agree with you, I'd never do it with my kids, but my parents only saw me for about five minutes a day for the whole of August when I was that age!

Most people don't @fumingrightnow1

Don't think it's normal. Caring and responsible parents would NEVER let a 14 year old girl walk home at 10pm in the dark. So what if it's only 10 minutes? It only takes a few seconds for someone to abduct or assault her.

Some of the responses on this thread are wild. Then again, as I said earlier, I know a woman who didn't even care where her 7 year old daughter was gone from home for 8-9 hours, and didn't even acknowledge her absence and how long she'd been away til about 20-30 minutes after sunset!

Even then she didn't look for her, she just waited, and about 30-40 minutes after sunset the girl turned up. The mum didn't give a shit that she had been gone half the day and was still not home half hour after sunset.

So yeah, it's hardly surprising that some responses are basically saying they don't care if their young teens walk home alone in the dark. Some people in real life don't. Quite sad really isn't it?

The 'maturity level' of any given teen is irrelevant. Being more mature won't stop them getting attacked. FFS some of the responses on this thread!!!

Not necessarily. Weirdos, predators, and perverts are everywhere, even the nicer, more middle-class areas. Do not drop your guard and assume you're safe. Always be cautious. The Gift Of Fear. Have you ever heard of it?

The teens I hung out with appear to be completely different and would have listened to me out of politeness, even if not to their own mums.

This sounds realistic

I would cut your dd some slack. It's embarassing for a teen to leave a sleepover like that, even just telling her parents would be hard.

Glad you Dd is home safe.
I wouldn't have let that happen if I were the friend's parent. I often walked Dd friends home after dark when she was that age and we live in a relatively safe area.
However, I guess I could have missed what was happening, and my own Dd was always a 'stormer off' including from school once or twice, which led to a 3 mile long unlit cross country walk home and worried me sick.

Usually she called me though, and we had a deal that I would always pick her up from anywhere with no questions, and no reprisal afterwards so long as she trusted me enough to ring. I know this isn't ideal for you (and it wasn't for me either) but it worked.

Teenagers are not going to give you a phone number if they don't want to.
An emotional teenager who just wants to get away is even less likely to.

If you try sympathetically you might end up with something like

Other mum: Are you ok? I heard you and friend having an argument?
DD: Friend doesn't want me to stay; I'm going to go home
Other mum: OK, but it's late. Why don't you call your mum from the lounge and wait there until she gets here?
DD: I just want to go
Other mum: It's not really safe to be going home on your own at this time. I'd feel much better to know your mum is on the way.
DD: I'll ring her from outside
Other mum: Can you give me her phone number so I can check you're home safely
DD: <refuses>
Other mum: OK, but please promise me you'll call your mum straight away and wait outside until she gets here
DD: <shrugs and leaves>

This is why it's so important to have the "what if" conversations before hand and then the "was that the best idea" conversations afterwards.

Change the scenario slightly - the girls have gone to McDonalds together (say 7 or 8 in the evening). The plan is for an adult to pick them up later. They have a row and end up separated and not in McDonalds. What do they do? No adult here to pick up the pieces. They have to be able to cope.

Id also add, to everyone blaming the 14 year old for not calling mum, yeah obviously she should have done but she was probably upset, that plus teenage puberty years, - she's still a child with a load of hormones and upset and full of stress and adrenaline from the argument, children don't always make grown up decisions do they, that's why adults are responsible for them until they're 18. The other mum should have been the injection of adult that was clearly needed.

How long does it take for something bad to happen exactly? 11 mins? I am grown woman and still feel uncomfortable walking alone when it's dark/Id avoid it altogether. You sound woefully naive to the dangers of lone girls and women, at anytime frankly, let alone at night.

So your dds friend kicked her out of the the house at 10pm and her mum allowed it?! I wouldn't let her stay there ever again and honestly I think the other mum is really irresponsible. She should have either phoned you or insisted that your dd sleeps on the sofa. Can't believe she allowed her own DD to kick someone's kid out at 10pm! A 14 year old is a child and vulnerable. I wouldn't turn a 14 year old out on the street, and I'd be alarmed if they had stormed out of the house. She had no idea if your dd was upset and was going to go home or somewhere else.