Financial help to wider family.

It’s up to you. But whatever you hand over….don't expect it to ever come back to you.

It wouldn’t be a loan, because it would never be repaid. So whatever you give would be a gift effectively.

Do you really want to hand over £££££s for it to be spent on fancy cars and holidays?

I'd stay quiet.

They sound irresponsible as a group.

If you help one once, then you become their safety net. They won't suddenly change their ways and start being responsible; they'll just see you as a resource.

Then the others find out you have disposable income and a kind disposition, and then you're Gather Christmas all year round.

And you'll end up on the receiving end of continual begging, and falling-outs if you don't keep the donations flowing.

For a peaceful life, and peace of mind, let them get on with it.

Don’t do it

Don’t give them money.

Good god no. Do not share. If you do, I can guarantee that it will change nothing for them. They will just spend the money on something that you have probably denied yourself as too expensive and not necessary. And then once they are back in same bad financial place they will be harassing you for more. Just no. Keep your well earned and saved for money and enjoy a worry free retirement. Keep quiet. Your business is none of theirs.

You'll be throwning good money after bad and you'll open the floodgates - everyone else will start asking too.

I get the impression that you are still going to do it so if you do, make sure you cap it. For example, you win £10k on a stratch card etc. and make it very clear, when it's gone, it's gone.

I would mostly stay quiet but maybe have think about situations where you might step in.

My partner and I earn have had a higher household income than our siblings as we were both in decent roles and they have a single or one decent earner/ one lower earning couples. We are also more frugal so we have a lot more savings.

I have loaned one sister money on a couple of occasions. Once a family member shafted her and booked something non refundable that she had told them she couldn't afford but would have liked to do. The second time was an ill timed vet bill and was short notice. I'd offered her the first time and she came to me the second. They were relatively small amounts and were repaid promptly. The 3rd time was more significant and it was to help her buy a house. She was a bit short on a deposit after the bank offered a different mortgage to the mortgage in principle. She had already committed money to the sale of the house, sold hers and broken the chain. She has terrible taste in men and the arseholes BF at the time offered her the money. I offered to loan her money instead and we agreed a repayment plan. It took her 2 years to pay me back and she paid me the interest I could have earned if I put it into a fixed account for 2 years. I couldn't afford for her to not pay me back but it was money that I didn't need in a 2-4 year time frame. I was optimistic that she could afford to repay in 2y and if not 3y would have been very doable. I couldn't 32stand by and have my sister be locked into a commitment with another controlling man having seen how hard it had been for her to extract herself from her abusive marriage. She hasn't asked for any money since, now about 6+ years ago.

I would offer support to allow my siblings to have a roof over their heads and food on the table. I'm not going to support and unsustainable lifestyle or permit abuse but if they find themselves needing support to restart a life I'm there. So rather than help to stop them losing an unaffordable house which would be a stop gap and mean more help would be necessary next month but if they were struggling to find the money for a one off deposit or upfront rent for example I'd consider helping as a loan or a gift to help them get back on their feet but it would be case by case and not let on how comfortable it would be for make that payment

No. People like this will come to view it as an entitlement in no time. If they don't mind taking money off companies (enough to lead to CCJs), why would they mind taking it off you, then coming back for more? You'll just be one more branch on the magic money tree, as far as they're concerned. The only way the spend-more-than-they-have crowd ever change is if THEY have to suffer the consequences. I mean, not even then, always. But they definitely won't go, "oh dear, how embarrassing, I got into so much debt a family member had to bail me out, I must change my ways". They'll just put you and what they see as your infinite reserves of cash in the same category as taking out another credit card or whatever. One more way to overspend.

My brother in law's family are really struggling to the point of being on the verge of losing their home. The thing is no one really knows our financial position at all.

Imagine how you'll feel if they use up your money to save their home and then re-mortgage and end up in the same position?

Don't do it. You made your sacrifices building up your nest egg, they need to make sacrifices now.

Nope. I would not help. Adults need to deal with their choices in life and I would never have expected siblings or aunties to financially bail me out once I was a grown up.

Why would they?

I think there are lots of different scenarios, I have lent money to siblings & vice versa. Wider family have helped & everything has always been paid back.

would your family sell their house if you prevented them from losing it?

Let them deal with the consequences of their actions. You've planned your life and budget so that you can enjoy your retirement. Go ahead and do just that. If your relatives hadn't been so frivolous, they wouldn't be in this position now.

No, you shouldn't share it. They've dug this hole themselves, so now they'll have to find their own way out of it. It wasn't just a bit of bad luck, in which case I'd feel more inclined to offer limited assistance, if I could easily afford it. However, it sounds like you can't really afford to help them without putting your own future/comfort at risk, and if you do, they'll probably continue to look to you for more as the need arises.

If they view you as ‘normal’ financially at the moment, this is good.

If you were to let on that you had spare / available cash you will be seen as the ‘rich’ ones and they will feel entitled to ask for your money. As PPs have said, any financial gift will not change their spending habits and most importantly it will change how they all view you and there will be frequent requests and (unwarranted) annoyance if your ever say no.

This isn’t a situation of giving up a few luxuries and discretionary spends to help them buy necessities. You are talking about disrupting your own financial security. Do not create another unstable household.

Bailing them out of debt when they've caused it themselves leads you wide open to others pestering you for money and it doesn't teach them a thing. I've given family money for debt only to find they spent it on a holiday.

I'd keep quiet and use your money for your own immediate family.

No, do not lose your nest egg to their reckless spending. There is a family like your brother in law's in my local town and they too were helped out by family when they were about to lose their home. They did not change their behavior one bit. Ended up in the same situation over. Eventually lost their home. Their family member is not have the retirement they should be having.

Absolutely not.
Do not get in any way involved.
If your recklessness has put your house at risk, that level of stupidity should never be engaged with.
Let them learn the hard way.

I wouldn't ever share our financially secure situation with anyone.
It's no ones business and it can change how people view you.

It’s sounds like they’ve just made poor choices so no I wouldn’t be helping them! They’ve had ample opportunity's over the years to save and become financially secure and they’ve chosen to waste it!

Keep quiet.

As everyone else has said, don't. It won't end well, they'll feel entitled to benefit from your sensible decisions, and you'll put your own security at risk.

What I would say is, offer them help that doesn't take the form of throwing good money after bad. You can't necessarily save their home, but you might be able to help them pay for a place on a much anticipated school trip for their kids - but always say it's a one off as you've just had an unexpected bonus, small lottery win, that sort of thing

Honestly, don’t…by all means point them in the direction of how/where they can get support, but don’t offer to bail anyone out.

I would offer a small amount of support and not let them know that you're loaded! I do think there is a moral obligation to help even though others believe that all morals go out of the window when it comes to wealth.

NO!!! They are adults and have made their beds!!

Don’t give them anything , your circumstances could change overnight