AIBU to think wishing away summer suggests unrealistic expectations of children?

This. ^

Just echoing pps I guess.
we have a week of holiday left and I am getting to the point where I really need them back at school.

Yes, I enjoy their company, yes they’re easy kids who don’t need much supervision, but there comes a point in the summer holidays for those of us who work most of it and also solo parent where we really need to do the work that is expected of us and not the bare minimum. Nothing to do with wishing away time with the kids, it’s just much easier to juggle everything in termtime.

Yes my kids have had lots of days out and a holiday, no I don’t neglect them and wish they weren’t there, and yes I am exhausted at this point in the holidays.
I think you should maybe consider that other people have different circumstances, particularly frazzled working parents!

I think this is partly your answer - you have managed to free up the summer to just be with your children. Most people are still trying to work and look after them/sort childcare. I love our holiday away as that is just time I can be with my kids. The rest of the summer isn’t weeks of swimming and walks and the beach - it’s working full time and feeling awful sending my kids to a club they may or may not want to go to depending on the day. At least with school they look forward to being back with their friends. I think you are just having a very different experience to a lot of people.

Well, I personally find your posts irritating and depressing. I'm embarrassed for you. But I'm rather enjoying someone dig themselves deeper and deeper so do continue!

The whole narrative that parents are heroes for surviving a short amount of time with the humans they chose to create is irritating and depressing.

You’re just being antagonistic and obtuse at this point. There’s no narrative that says that, it’s not a thing.

Congratulations on enjoying every minute of your only parenting summer holidays, while somehow making the most of every second with your children but also simultaneously working somehow.

@Sleepytimepleaseee · Today 21:37

I can see this has very much touched a nerve. I was acknowledging that parents with children with additional needs don't have it easy, but clearly that was taken the wrong way. By all means people are entitled to think what they like, and defend not wanting to spend time with their kids if they need to under the guise that it's hard work/they are grumpy teens/it's expensive...all of which are not exactly a surprise.

The whole narrative that parents are heroes for surviving a short amount of time with the humans they chose to create is irritating and depressing.

The irony in the last 2 lines of this post is breathtaking @Sleepytimepleaseee

You're making out that YOU are a hero for spending time with your children and apparently enjoying it!

And yes you clearly have touched a nerve with some. And you have upset a number of posters.

You don't seem to care though.

.

As you don’t appear to have a child with additional needs, I’m not sure you are qualified to comment.
As I said, my child with severe additional needs is an absolute joy. He’s the happiest child I’ve ever met. I never wished additional needs upon him (what a weird thing to say 🙄), but equally nothing about having him has been a ‘cruel blow’.

Congratulations on managing 4 weeks total of summer holiday parenting. You must be the best parent ever.

Agee with others that there are lots of factors that can make school holidays challenging for some families. However, I’m also interested how you’ve managed the holidays, what have you been up to? What childcare you’ve had in place? And your plans for the next few weeks? This would help to understand your perspective.

I think you need to stop with telling people how they should and shouldn’t feel. And stop commenting on parents with children with additional needs when you don’t have any yourself. Both things make you look really, really stupid.

"I stand by my comment that having additional needs is a cruel blow - it's an extra difficulty that noone should wish on their child, and that noone dreams of for their child while they are waiting to be pregnant. Noone should want their child's life to be harder than it needs to be."
Why are you assuming anyone is wishing extra difficulty on their child?
This is illogical. You are lecturing us on finding joy in small things yet those of us who are happy and finding joy in our additional needs children are wishing difficulty on them? We accept them as they are and enjoy life what for what it is, precisely the attitude you are trying to espouse?

Yep. She just needs to say 'I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my comment about children with special needs,' but she's too busy dictating to people, doubling down on her comments, and trying to be right, so this ain't gonna happen!

!

Op with respect you are digging yourself a bigger hole talking about the "cruel blow of having a child with additional needs". Just stop.
Come back when your kids are teenagers, when they hate each other, answer you back, eat everything in sight, constantly tell you how bored they are and cost you an arm and a leg.

Hopefully she'll raise kids who are less small-minded and can read a room, but I doubt it!

Yep, the whole thread is utterly tone deaf, and frankly very offensive. Awful thread, and the OP is refusing to acknowledge how offensive her comment about children with special needs is. I'm cringeing for her.

OP are you honestly lecturing other parents on summer holidays when you’ve experienced 4 weeks of summer holidays total in your entire parenting experience? Your oldest child is 5 years old, your experience of the school summer holidays are incredibly limited.

OMG don't double down on that comment @Sleepytimepleaseee !!!

However difficult it is, you should not be wishing time away. Find ways to make it less difficult.

Hmmm yes ok @Sleepytimepleaseee. you are looking at your life through the lens of just your life. I do have Dcs with additional needs but that’s not the only thing that can make life / summer holidays difficult. It’s great that your children get on beautifully. Mine do too now thankfully but there were a million different reasons that summers / life were hard when they were younger. And how it is for you now won’t be how it will always be. Hold back a bit.

Wait until you’re spending all your wages having them looked after during the holidays, listening to them complaining about how much they hate holiday club, how bored they are, while you’re wrestling with guilt of having to work full-time. Then on the few precious days off that you do get to spend with them, you can’t afford to take them to all the cool places their friends are going to because you’ve got next to nothing left after paying for childcare, and you’ve still got a mortgage, bills and school uniforms to pay for.

YABU. I do not have unrealistic expectations of my children. I am very much aware of their strengths and limitations. DDs are 6 and 3. Eldest is a stickler for a routine so 6 weeks out of it is just too long for her and therefore also me. DH had the first 2 weeks off which was lovely we had lots of family time and days out. But the following 4 weeks were an absolute slog by myself trying to keep them entertained while DH worked full time. So yes by the time I went back to work today I was absolutely ready for a child-free day!