AIBU to think wishing away summer suggests unrealistic expectations of children?

You can love your children deeply and still find the holidays exhausting. Mine are up from 6am-10pm, it’s a long day (some additional needs affect their sleep). I find the arguments hard, and the lack of freedom about what I can do. There are some great times also when they do get on and play well together. It’s okay to find some parts fun and some parts hard imo.

Working full time and trying to scrape enough holidays together to be with them is also tough.

The funny thing is, I’ve loved the summer holidays with my 7 year old with additional needs! He’s enjoyed having space away from the pressures of school and he loves being taken to different places/doing new things.
My two tween children with no additional needs however have been a pain in the bloody arse! Moaning, missing their friends who have been away a lot, too hot, bored….

I think it is astonishingly arrogant for someone who has only been a parent for 5 years to start lecturing all parents of all ages that they must enjoy all their time with all their children. Shit happens. Not everyone is exactly the same as you. Being told that I should only enjoy my children was a significant contributing factor in my postnatal depression, as a young mum with limited support. Grow up, be happy that you find this stage easy, and leave other people be.

I have always worked in schools which meant that when holidays came around I was lucky enough to spend them with my children.

I looked on in absolute admiration at how friends juggled the holidays and I also understood why they were stressed and wished them to be over.
It's the not being able to spend the holidays with your children that is stressful. Figuring out who will be looking after your children, the expense of it as well as trying to get in as much quality time with them without feeling mum-guilt that you can't constantly be there.

Spending every summer with my children has been a joy and privilege(especially in their younger years ). Just because people are wishing away the Summer break doesn't mean they don't appreciate or love their children.

Have you heard yourself ! You have v young kids in the peak of cuteness and you think that you.somehow have it all figured out motherhood wise. The condescention is dripping from.the screen.
Come back in 20 yrs and then give us your pearls of wisdom. You need to earn your spurs first.
And yes of course no one wishes disability or additional needs on their child. That goes without saying surely but those of us faced with it love and cherish our kids just the same. We dont refer to them as a cruel blow or see them as a burden. I love school holidays and dont wish them away because childhood is short and life goes quickly by and sooner than you.can believe your early years bubble will be gone.

Fair enough. Lots of kids would be bored shitless of the beach after the second or third trip… Suppose we’re all different.

It's been great for me because I live near the coast in a rural area so we've just been constantly at the beach. I would not have wanted to be in a big city this summer.

Very well said indeed

I didn't appreciate the comment about it being a particularly cruel blow to have kids with additional needs! I have 3 with various levels of need and I have enjoyed them just as much as my children with no additional needs.

So not even a blow in life or a cruel blow even but a particularly cruel blow like having children with additional needs is the pits !

Beautifully put. This was my point. In 2018 when I gave birth I wasn't exactly banking on COVID shutting down my entire industry and having to retrain!

I think it would be preferable to shorten them down to 4 weeks, just make it August only. 6 weeks feels like a huge break and it sets a lot of children back, the ones who get out of whack because they enjoy the routine of school. It’s also a huge childcare expense for lots of parents.

I think it’s nice for people who have access to a car or who live in a big vibrant city with lots of free/inexpensive things to do with kids but less so for those reliant on public transport in a crap part of the country with nothing going on. Must also be tough for parents without a garden.

Hence why they have time to be writing them lol

There will be more holidays.

Of course not

however I hate to rain on OP’s parade, but I was dealt the “particularly cruel blow” of having a gorgeous, wonderful child with additional needs, unlike OP my children absolutely do not play together beautifully, and I STILL love the summer holidays. So I suppose she must not love her children nor be as good a mother as me, in the same way she clearly thinks herself superior to other parents

And yes I am one of those people that in your words 'life has dealt a cruel blow'. It's not wishing away the summer, it's wishing there was some help, support or respite to get through the six weeks which are absolutely exhausting with a severely disabled child.

Any point to this post other than to feel superior in some abstract way?

YANBU. Mine are 5 and 3 too. They adore each other and play together wonderfully.

I’m a SAHM and we have no family help, so I’m with the kids all the time. I love it! They’re kind and clever, they make up great games and put on fun shows.

They’re a joy to be around and I really don’t want my eldest to go back to school because I’ll miss this.

THIS

The posts I read on here and on Facebook are generally from parents who don’t work.

I am very guilty of wishing the summer holidays away but in all honesty I don’t feel any sense of guilt over it.

My children are the same ages as the OP; they aren’t ‘bad’ children or anything like that but they can become hyper and silly together in a way they don’t when separated. As such, over this summer I feel I haven’t really been able to enjoy them as individuals much, it’s been the three of us together every single day. I am longing for a bit of separation from them, as much as I love them!

My three year old especially is pretty easy but even easy three year olds need quite a lot of adult support.

It’s also been hideously hot for a lot of it.

Roll on September!

It’s great that you want to acknowledge that parents with children with additional needs face extra challenges, but the way you worded that was so unbelievably crass and hurtful. So much so that I find it hard to believe you didn’t know it was a hurtful thing to say.

You’re either obtuse or trying to rage bait, but you can like and love your kids and also find the days long. Hope that helps

Can't comment on anyone else and everyone's different anyway but I love the summer holidays
And yes I am a single parent who uses holiday funds when I'm working
I still love it because it's still infinitely more relaxing than being at school. We get up that little bit later even when going to holiday clubs. We get to do fun stuff together. And just be together without all the school stress. I love it so much

And only 3 years of having more than 1 child.
Only 2 children.
Never had to work through the whole summer.
UK based so summers are only 6 weeks long.

Adding up how many weeks of summer holiday I have done for comparison. I have 3 and we are in the US so approx 16 years times 11 weeks per summer.

So around 176 weeks of summer holidays here, with 3 children who pretty much never all got on.

Not to mention that my husband worked 1,000+ miles away half the time.

But hey the OP has done 4 weeks with 2 children and she knows everything and we all know nothing.