Being spoken to disrespectfully in front of DHs mum

So he's rubbish with money and you sub him every month? Does he ever pay you back? Then he sulks about it and refuses to talk to you at a wedding? Then he puts you down in front of his mum (who I am really pleased told him too not to drink out of the carton!), and now demands you see it from his point of view? He's a manipulative sod isn't he?

What a catch. I mean, yeah, what a catch. I do hope there is something redeeming about this man because I can't understand why you're with him.

He is thoughtless and selfish. The money and expectation you’ll pay. Not buying his child presents and expecting you to sort it and drinking from carton (yuk)
His mum sounds nice and kind, picking you up and getting you a bit of shopping.
Realistically you need to have a frank conversation. It sounds like you are probably heading to divorce.
It’s not the milk it’s what it represents. There’s that famous article my wife left me because I left my mug in the side.

Well. The root of the issue is why he has no money. It seems to be entirely legitimate because he doesn’t earn much hence you wanting him to get a better job.
What he was not oblivious to was your attitude towards him. That you were annoyed. And I suspect it clearly showed.
You have said much about how he was over the weekend. But not how you were to him.

So I could not answer if you were unreasonable or not. His reactions may well be the result of how you behaved towards him.

No he should not drink from the milk carton. No he should not swear.

He is probably feeling low about the money. And not being able to find a job that pays more.

You either fundamentally respect him or you don’t.

It sounds like the marriage is over, you don't like each other, other people are being made to feel uncomfortable with you snapping at each other and him ignoring you at a wedding.
This fraught, contemptuous environment isn't enhancing anyone's life.

that I was insinuating he was selfish and disgusting

Dude - you are drinking straight from a milk carton others have to drink from. That IS selfish and disgusting!

He is behaving very badly but at least his mum supported you about the milk and he agreed he shouldn't have spoken to you like that. It's likely that your very reasonable frustration about money has been obvious to him even though unspoken, so best say it out loud.

I’d say you know what, this is a joke. You’ve had me pay for you to be consistently an asshole to me at your friends wedding. Why would I stay in a relationship where I fund you and you’re a total dick to me?? Who would stay in a relationship like that? I don’t want to point score, I do want you to take your bullshit attitude and leave, and your mum and your friends who were at the wedding will only be surprised it’s taken me this long.

What's the point of this rude child?

Also if my brothers did or said anything like that to the wives in front of my mother they wouldn’t live to see another day.

Same!

And you are with him because?

Oh god this. He isn't a 13 year old and you are not his mum to be topping up his piggy bank. The fact that he just told you he didn't have any money and just expected you to cough up is extremely unattractive. You need to tighten your purse strings and I'm sure he'll be talking like that more often, he sounds as if he already resents you.
Why was he being horrid on holiday, especially after telling you he'd no money? Were you not being generous enough with him?

It’s time to walk away. You and your DD deserve better.

Why are you staying with a man who swears at you? have some self respect. Nobody deserves him.

Well, quite. If you are going to have a kept man, why wouldn't you at least pick one who has basic manners and is pleasant to be around?

Even his own mother thinks he's a twat if she spoke up and reminded him not to drink from the bottle.

He doesn't like you, he doesn't care about you (or his child), and he wants to punish you. The question is not about whether you deserve punishment (you don't) but why HE thinks you do. Time to get rid before he takes out his hate on your joint child, she definitely doesn't deserve that.

Start saving up for your escape fund. If he can't afford something then tough, he goes without.

He doesn’t seem likeable never mind loveable.
Does he work full time?
Does he contribute to the family financially and emotionally or prioritise himself?
Does he often treat you badly and arbitrarily decide to punish you with silence or rudeness?
Once is too often in my book but if this is a pattern you end up teaching it to your daughter too. Would you be happier alone with your dd? Sounds charming comparatively.

I think you're concentrating on the wrong thing here.

You had a dig in front of his mum by saying “oh well I guess no one else is having milk”, and he had a dig right back in front of his mum.

The issue here is his poor money management and sulking, not his retort to your dig at him.

So he expected you to pay the expenses for getting to the wedding and then was in a mood with you throughout? Why? What are you getting out of this relationship with a sulky, nasty man who you have to financially subsidise?

Urgh, what a nasty specimen 🤮

I hope he’s swiftly an ex

He sounds awful. Being single and a mum without this manchild in your like will be ten times better.

What is the housing situation?

I feel sorry for your poor child - the fact her mother is with such a loser and even worse - speaks to her like a piece of shit? Poor child. Think about what your doing to her.

The obvious question is why are you still with him? You sound way too passive and accommodating. Why on earth did you go abroad when you/he has no job or money?
Get rid.

He sounds awful! But what is at the root of him being like this? Is he ashamed at having no money (hot tip: don’t attend weddings abroad if you’re broke) ?

It sounds as if you need to reconnect and communicate properly. I’d be asking him in a non-judgemental way what the matter is and why he didn’t speak to me at the wedding.

At least MIL didn’t take his side! Is she a decent person? Is he a decent person? There’s a difference between someone who has the hump over something acting out on one occasion and someone who’s just always dreadful.

“I carried the bags so I get to disrespect you in front of people” wow he’s a catch.

Also if my brothers did or said anything like that to the wives in front of my mother they wouldn’t live to see another day.

Just realised he doesn’t have a job! There is no spare cash for him then! Don’t agree to anymore trips or anything that costs money until he gets another job again!