Being spoken to disrespectfully in front of DHs mum

NC for this, it’s pretty outing.

DH and I have just returned from a long weekend away that we attended his school friend’s wedding (abroad). I was informed on the first day that he had no money left until the end of the month. Not the first time, but was annoyed that I was in the position of paying for transport etc during our time away.

Many discussions have been had about money management and the possibility of him getting a new job, but nothing has changed.

It’s also our DDs birthday this week and I’ve had to use my credit card to buy the presents as he has no money.

I have not once mentioned that I am annoyed about the money situation, although I am. He was horrendous at at the wedding, sulking and not speaking at all with me, but to others.

His mum picked us up from the airport yesterday with DD. I sat in the back of the car with DD playing and DH sat in the front. When we got home he drank straight from the milk carton his mum had bought us. I said, in a jovial way, “oh well I guess no one else is having milk”. In front of his mum, he said to me “why the fuck are you acting like this?”. Like a child. And he looked at me like he hated me. His mum said you shouldn’t be drinking out of the bottle.

Didn’t want to cause a scene in front of his mum, so said after she left, please don’t speak to me like that in front of your mum, or anyone.

He said he’d carried all the bags from holiday and wanted a drink, that I was insinuating he was selfish and disgusting and that I’m not considering the stress he’s under. I told him I had been supporting him, especially financially.

He said I was point scoring, I had a tone, and he won’t be engaging with me until I see his POV. he said he’ll “try” and not speak like that to me again in front of his mum

have I taken too much offence from this? Am I being precious?

You each have £1k per month "fun money" and yet you had to use a credit card for your daughter's birthday presents? Sounds like you are both bad with money and need to agree on some budgets and ground rules.
When he has a job, do you have everything in a joint account? Personally, I have never understood having separate "mine" and "his/hers" money when you're in a serious relationship, especially if you have kids and/or mortgage. My ex husband and I never had separate money when we were together, including when he was a stay-at-home dad for several years and when he was in minimum wage roles. I never wanted him to feel like he didn't have money. It was a partnership.
That said, if your partner is useless in many ways, including respectfulness and finances, I would probably keep the finances separate at this point and start planning the divorce.

Finances are I earn £3k/pcm and he earns £1.6k/pcm. He has expensive hobbies which appear to take precedence. Bills are fairly low (very small mortgage), and around £500 each. I put £1k into joint savings (we want to buy a bigger house), £500 to childcare costs. Leaves me with £1k and him with £1.1k a month. Always runs out, and says I earn more than him so it’s not fair he pays the same as me. I pay for all weekly shops.

He has debts which need to be paid off, he’s on a payment plan for this. I think it’s £100 a month but not sure.

He has about £5k worth of hobby stuff, won’t sell any of it, despite not needing it all.

Wedding holiday was paid for last year, he paid me back monthly. Said he had saved money for the holiday but then said he’d run out. Had to pay for meals (on days that weren’t the wedding) and transport to and from airport.

The discussion about milk is infuriating, i frequently tell him I don’t like sharing drinks, he says we kiss what’s the difference.

His mum was quite obviously embarrassed and saw me tearing up. DD was playing the garden.

He hates you and is hoping you will pull the plug on this relationship

could he be having an affair?

I wouldn’t be saving up for a bigger house together. He can’t afford it. I would call it quits now

You spent all that money on going to this wedding and he spoilt the day by being a miserable a*

just a thought are you sure he is running out of money. Could he be telling you that so he doesn’t have to spend his own and is eating into yours

Either way he needs to sort himself out

Drinking directly from a bottle or carton that others in the household have to share is disgusting. Sharing other bodily fluids is voluntary and there’s no way I’d be voluntarily putting milk in my coffee that contains someone else’s’ spit.

NC for this, it’s pretty outing.

DH and I have just returned from a long weekend away that we attended his school friend’s wedding (abroad). I was informed on the first day that he had no money left until the end of the month. Not the first time, but was annoyed that I was in the position of paying for transport etc during our time away.

Many discussions have been had about money management and the possibility of him getting a new job, but nothing has changed.

It’s also our DDs birthday this week and I’ve had to use my credit card to buy the presents as he has no money.

I have not once mentioned that I am annoyed about the money situation, although I am. He was horrendous at at the wedding, sulking and not speaking at all with me, but to others.

His mum picked us up from the airport yesterday with DD. I sat in the back of the car with DD playing and DH sat in the front. When we got home he drank straight from the milk carton his mum had bought us. I said, in a jovial way, “oh well I guess no one else is having milk”. In front of his mum, he said to me “why the fuck are you acting like this?”. Like a child. And he looked at me like he hated me. His mum said you shouldn’t be drinking out of the bottle.

Didn’t want to cause a scene in front of his mum, so said after she left, please don’t speak to me like that in front of your mum, or anyone.

He said he’d carried all the bags from holiday and wanted a drink, that I was insinuating he was selfish and disgusting and that I’m not considering the stress he’s under. I told him I had been supporting him, especially financially.

He said I was point scoring, I had a tone, and he won’t be engaging with me until I see his POV. he said he’ll “try” and not speak like that to me again in front of his mum

have I taken too much offence from this? Am I being precious?

NC for this, it’s pretty outing.

DH and I have just returned from a long weekend away that we attended his school friend’s wedding (abroad). I was informed on the first day that he had no money left until the end of the month. Not the first time, but was annoyed that I was in the position of paying for transport etc during our time away.

Many discussions have been had about money management and the possibility of him getting a new job, but nothing has changed.

It’s also our DDs birthday this week and I’ve had to use my credit card to buy the presents as he has no money.

I have not once mentioned that I am annoyed about the money situation, although I am. He was horrendous at at the wedding, sulking and not speaking at all with me, but to others.

His mum picked us up from the airport yesterday with DD. I sat in the back of the car with DD playing and DH sat in the front. When we got home he drank straight from the milk carton his mum had bought us. I said, in a jovial way, “oh well I guess no one else is having milk”. In front of his mum, he said to me “why the fuck are you acting like this?”. Like a child. And he looked at me like he hated me. His mum said you shouldn’t be drinking out of the bottle.

Didn’t want to cause a scene in front of his mum, so said after she left, please don’t speak to me like that in front of your mum, or anyone.

He said he’d carried all the bags from holiday and wanted a drink, that I was insinuating he was selfish and disgusting and that I’m not considering the stress he’s under. I told him I had been supporting him, especially financially.

He said I was point scoring, I had a tone, and he won’t be engaging with me until I see his POV. he said he’ll “try” and not speak like that to me again in front of his mum

have I taken too much offence from this? Am I being precious?

Kinda sounds like you are both as bad as each other in some respects and on edge.

Why do you have seperate finances - sounds like the ‘my’ money vs ‘your’ money is a problem between you.