Being spoken to disrespectfully in front of DHs mum

You finances are messed up. You are married with a child, £1k a month personal money is far too much. It should all go into a joint account other than a few hundred pounds each. Then from there you put in £1k savings and pay all the bills, groceries and joint holidays etc etc. He sounds awful with the overspending and milk drinking but then so do your penny pinching and the milk comment. Maybe you both just deserve each other?

I would politely suggest you
A. Learn some tolerance
B. Learn some manners
C. Park the attitude
D. Blow it all out your ear.
Respectfully yours

Do you always make excuses for men's bad behaviour? You should take a look at yourself and ask what happened to your boundaries and standards. Perhaps look at the man you're with too. Because your reaction is far from normal.

WTF is wrong with women settling for absolute arseholes like this? He can't even support himself, let alone his child. There is zero, absolutely zero, going for him. Take your money out of the joint savings account. Stick in in your own account, or one in your child's name. Dump the cvnt.

He's showing you who he is....a bullying manchild who doesn't love or respect you. I wouldn't want that role model around my kids.

I’m not sure being stressed is an excuse for being an arsehole to her alone.

If he was stressed he’d have been like a bear with a sore head with everyone. But no - as is fairly usual, the partner gets it. And it sounds as though the ‘stress’ is self inflicted.

Do I think it was a good thing to say at the time? No - not really but I get it. And why should she stay mute while he gets to be sulky and childlike.

Big talks need to be had for sure. But I would not want to be with a childish arse who takes his temper out on me and refuses to engage until I acknowledge his point of view - when it doesn’t sound as though he is willing to see mine.

Life is too short to placate someone when they are blaming their shortcomings on someone else and ‘stress’.

I'm not going to comment on the money, but the milk comment has me worried.
I once asked my granny who was married to grandpa for 64 years, how they remained so devoted.
her answer..."Pick your fights carefully".
I think that was the worst thing you coukd have done. Why poke the bear?
He sounds hugely stressed and that comment was really badly timed. I would have let it go.
But it sounds like time to have an honest talk with him.
Nothing comes between a couple more than money problems.

Urgh

I have only read OPs original post, i think your husband is suffering from guilt and reflecting that back on you as a anger and rudeness. He had no money which in a grown adult going to his friends wedding planned in advance is just pathetic. He expects you to pay but is rude and resentful. Has no money for his daughters birthday which presumably is on the same date every year. He's financially incompetent, rude, aggressive sulks and pouts. Why are you with him.

He is a man he has-been horrible to you at the wedding can't manage his finances and speaks to you with no respect in front of others which part of this is ok... none of it .
The fact as a man your husband/partner can make you tear up is fucking shit behaviour and the fact he has a daughter would he be ok a man speaking to her in that way.
You're not being precious at all he needs to get a grip and and protect you love you sort out his finances not hurt you ... sounds like a prick.

Well he doesn’t earn enough and needs a better job. 1.6k is less than min wage if he’s working 35 hours. He’s a fully grown adult with a child who needs to have some aspirations and earn more. He’s also needs to get a grip and understand he can’t afford hobbies when he earns naff all.

He is inadequate (in many ways).

Suggest divorce.

He's gaslighted you.. probably because he feels inadequate.
Suggest counselling.

There was a thread a few months back. The DH had no idea how much the DW paid more than him. It was a shock to them both. Go back through 6 months of bills and show how the money gets spent for starters.

The OP wasn’t passive aggressive. Her DH deliberately drank milk out of the pack and she pulled him up. He sounds vile and it sounds like this marriage has run its course.

LTB

Take the money out of the joint account & put in your name only. Why are you letting him use you as an ATM and talk to you like 💩. Seriously you & DD deserve better.

You’re not being too precious. Is this unusual or first time he’s been like this.

MILs reaction is worth thinking about. If my DD spoke to her partner like that in front of me then she’d be getting lecture on respect no matter how old.

few years back I’d said something (about an Xmas decoration so not provoking) to DH who then snapped “shut the f*ck up”. It was said in quite a nasty way in front of MIL. I was quite shocked and assumed MIL might say something to him….but what she said was “now now you two, no silly bickering”.

her being willing to condone DH speaking to me like that says a lot about who she is (and who DH is)

This is absolutely everything nailed.

If I heard my DS talking to his wife like that, I would have been utterly ashamed of him, and treating you so badly at the wedding was also extremely low behaviour.

Does he actually like you, or just your money, I wonder.

All in all he sounds pretty vile.

Criticising him for drinking milk from the carton is hardly equivalent to his spending her money while squandering his own and not speaking to her while they were away.

So it was acceptable for you to criticize him in front of her, but if he responds, he's out of order. Sounds like you have double standards.

I would call it a day with him and wave goodbye ..

What's the point to him? Why are you still with him? Get rid

Why are you saving into a joint account that he contributes nothing to? Madness!