I've got myself into a sticky situation

One morning in December a few years ago I parked outside the Post Office to post some packages, it was early around 7am. When I got back in the car, for some reason I had forgotten to put the car in reverse and drove forward into a white van. I couldn't see any damage but I waited a few minutes to see if the owner returned and when they didn't I wrote a note with my name and number. It turned out there was damage, it's not always immediately apparent. The van was being leased by Royal Mail to help with Christmas deliveries so they had no reason to say it was damaged if it wasn't. But I did the right thing, my conscience wouldn't have let me do otherwise.

It sounds like you hit a different car and someone else hit hers.

Im going to have to come clean, i just feel so stupid that I've let it go this far. I barely slept last night.

There's 1.5 hours difference in the times.

For all anyone knows the car could have been hit within that 1.5 hours somewhere else during that time.

Yes you do OP. You tell your husband the truth - I suspect that this si the part that bothers you, understandably as you'll have to admit to lying to him. The neighbour part is easier - assuming you were not at the door when he knocked - you can say that your husband had just told you what happened...you didn't know whose car it was etc. But better to confess than get outed, especially in these days of ring doorbells, CCTV, social media/neighbourhood FB groups.

In this day and age with ring doorbell, dash cam, mobiles etc very little can be kept under wraps. You should have said something straight away, you’ll like a complete numpty if someone comes forward having seen something.

so you bumped into the car at 10.30am but the neighbour said she left at around 9am. Thats a big time gap and probably likely it was a different car. However, this is obviously bothering you because you have come on here. Just own up to your husband, he loves you. It will be ok. Go and speak to your neighbour today as it was only yesterday it happened. You can say your husband only just told you about his call. If it was a different car and they havent come back its likely there is no damage. If it was his girlfriends car, then thats what insurance is for. Please dont worry yourself anymore. It is a totally fixable matter.

I know I should own up, but I don't know how to go about it,

What a load of rubbish.

"Hi, sorry it was me who hit the car. I didn't know it was damaged as I didn't get out and check. Here's my insurance details".

And if you want to, point out that your husband didn't know about it.

Just go and talk to him. You know you hit their car and should have owned up before now.

I had a similar accident recently. First thing I did was walk all the way around the vehicle I hit, taking a video. Then pictures of the very superficial damage to my car. The car I hit did have a dent in the area where impact occurred, there was no one in it and I had no pen or paper.

I called my insurance company that day and they located the vehicle owner from the reg and were able to contact them directly. Yes I’ll lose my no claims and have to declare it for 3-5 yrs but that’s the consequence of my mistake. I think you’ve behaved appallingly. You knew you hit it and drove off.

Do the right thing OP and check if it was her car you hit. I did same thing a while ago and left a note on the car and my house number (random street parking/had no way of knowing who car belonged to) . the neighbour came over and agreed there was no damage but that it was her DS’s first car and she thanked me for setting a good example of a decent road user to him. Bad karma if you dont

Leave it and see if anything happens. I doubt it was caught on anyone's camera. Next time get out and look properly for damage.

If you went to the shops, you'll have a receipt which will show what time you purchased your goods, which should coincide timescale wise with when you left your house and purchased the goods. Check what time she left first - if they're saying before 9am, then admit you hit a car at 10.30am and you've got the receipt which shows will a time that accounts for the journey and purchasing the goods.

YABU. When you hit a car you should always get out straight away, take photos of damage (or lack thereof) and leave your details.

Not inspecting any damage is a detriment to you as well as them because if you have dented it you need to check the level of damage you have actually caused, so that you can't be accused of causing more, or completely unrelated damage. I would go round and say the timing is wrong but you were reversing out of your drive around 10.30 and ask could it have been you? That way they will be pleased you raised it and you won't lose too much face. It's easy to bump a car reversing without noticing if you were distracted with kids or loud music etc.

If both of you are sure about the times, it can't have been you. If you left your drive at 10.30am the gf's car would have been long gone, if she left at 9am.

You need to start parking properly, you should reverse into your drive and then drive out forwards. Especially if you lack spatial awareness when reversing!

I had some cretin do this to mine when I was parked up at uni. There was SO much space as well, they must have been blind as well as moronic. Of course they just drove off and left me with hundreds of pounds of damage. Cunt.

OP did not get out of her car and inspect the car that she hit for damage. She looked from her seated position in the driver's seat, which would not give her the ability to view the damage clearly, especially as the collision was at the rear of her car. She then drove off without leaving a note. OP confirmed the girlfriend's car is the same colour, make and model of car as the car that she hit.

Agree there seems to be a time discrepancy which needs addressing. But you didn’t check your car properly?
And if you say nothing, I’d be aware that cameras might have caught the incident anyway.

She didn't check. She just glanced out of the window and carried on.

I can understand how you must be feeling but honesty is the best policy. So many houses have cctv now so it's likely they already know what happened.

You looked and there was no damage so don’t volunteer to be the person that pays for a different car!!! Just leave it and say nothing. That’s like saying you found a fiver on the floor and someone knocks saying have you seen my twenty pound note?! You don’t give the fiver because it’s the closest thing. Just say nothing because you know it wasn’t damaged as you had checked it AND it was a different time, you were already at work at that time.

For your own peace of mind, and because it's the right thing to do, you should tell him. Mention the time discrepancy though. If it was you, take the financial hit or claim on your insurance - checking your excess first though.

OP didn't even bother to get out and look for damage though, she just assumed it was okay and drove off.

How would you feel if someone damaged your car and did not own up?

didn't notice any damage to the car I went into

To be fair OP, you didn't actually look by your own admission. You need to fess up.