I've got myself into a sticky situation

I’m not really sure you can assess damage when you didn’t even bother to get out of your own car

it’s such a dickhead move to a) drive off without getting out of the car and inspecting for damage yourself and b) lie about it

Not OP’s first rodeo either, it seems.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5347659-partners-brother-not-happy?reply=144743821

most car “accidents” are caused by negligence or incompetence.

Confirm the time line. If she left at 9:00 then it wasn’t her car that you hit at 10:30. (However I’ll also suggest that if you didn’t get out of your car to check the car you hit then you can’t reasonably say that there was no damage!)

The front and rear of a car will absorb a small bump and may show no damage. However, a small impact on a door panel will show damage. Just own up and you will feel better

I'll help you along.
She backed out of her drive and hit a car. Her admission. I would say she did not carry out a competent manoeuvre! 🤣

So if you saw no damage and the guy is saying there was damage.. do you suspect they're lying? If so: I wouldn't say anything given the time discrepancy too. And the fact the car you hit didn't have damage so two reasons it might not be the same car.

Otherwise, if you know you didn't check thoroughly as wanting to leave quickly (/ hoping not to see damage!) and you think they could have got the time wrong, then I would own up to it.

I agree. If you know you hit a car and that person claims their car was damaged the next day, it doesn't take a genius to work out that it was probably you who caused it. Even if not, I would want to explain my side of things. It's going to look a whole lot worse if someone provides video footage further down the line, and you've not said a word.

By definition it was not a 'competent manoeuvre ', because she hit a car, we don't need to see more detail to be able to tell thats not how we're intended to drive :-D. The word 'Incompetence' was a bit harsh, but fair, and yes, many of us have had a scrape at some point hitting something, but that doesn't mean we didn't drive poorly at that moment.

Well, it would be pretty bloody unlucky for the GF's car to have potentially been hit twice within two hours. Surely it makes more sense that she or her BF got the time wrong?

You sound morally corrupt

Sure, that sounds sensible. It is weird that the times don't match up, coincidences happen.

Totally agree that she should have left a note on the windscreen, that's what I've done in similar circumstances. You are then relying on the other person not to lie about any pre-existing damage. But "the other person might lie" isn't an excuse not to do the right thing.

I wouldn’t be telling him anything. I’d be asking for the details of the car and where it was parked to make sure both matched up, and checking to see if he was positive about the time line. IF gf left at 9am and OP didn’t go out until 10.30am then it couldn’t possibly have been her. She hit a car and really didn’t handle that well - at the very least she should have left a note on the windscreen with her details in case of any damage. But that doesn’t mean she should shoulder responsibility for something she didn’t do.

To not own up is a really mean thing to do. Somebody recently hit my car while it was parked outside a restaurant and were shitty enough to drive off without reporting it. It cost £4.5k to repair and I had to stump up £550 of that in respect of my compulsory and voluntary excess. That was a very expensive dinner!

It's possible that she is not, but she certainly would benefit from talking to the neighbour, as she is naturally worried.

No clue. Wasn’t there. And neither was anyone else on the thread.

Yup!

You should have left your note and number in the first place. Do the right thing and walk tall in life and with a clear conscience. If you tell her I guarantee they'll be okay with it, if not at first then in the end.

Did she carry out "a competent manoeuvre"?
Be truthful now! 🤔

Just tell the neighbour, you did reverse into a car at 10.30, you didn't think there was any damage so you didn't tell your husband. You're now concerned it may have been you so you want to check the timings - did the girlfriend definitely leave before 9am or could they have made a mistake.

It'll set your mind at rest. Maybe it wasn't you at all, if the boyfriend was right about the time then it can't have been. It'll avoid any embarrassing situations where they've got video evidence and you have to admit it later . It'll stop you from feeling guilty.

If you have caused damage to someone else's car then you really need to take responsibility, but maybe it was just a weird coincidence. You won't know unless you ask the neighbour.

Given that the times don’t match - by an hour and a half, why is OP deluding herself ?

Incompetence ? Have you never had an accident of any kind ?

It is embarrassing, but honestly the sooner you tell him, the sooner you will start to feel better about this.

Your behaviour is quite natural; we all want to run from our responsibilities at times, but facing up to them is the only way to get over it.

Please don't delude yourself that you didn't do this. You must admit it because you are helping everyone if you do, and yourself most of all in the long run.

I hope karma finds you quickly.

Assuming OP is actually the one who hit gf’s car. And not everyone is able to reverse into the driveway. I live on a busy main road. It would be impossible.

Why would it be an error on his part if he knows what time his gf leaves for work ? If he’s correct then gf would likely have been at work by the time OP left.