AIBU to feel contextual offers are unfair after my son's results?

You lost me at spending the summer in South America and America, as the mother of a hard worker hoping to get a contextual offer for Edinburgh next year, who could only dream of getting to go abroad for these types of opportunities, I am absolutely shocked that you went to uni and cannot see your son's privilege.

Cambridge university offers a Foundation Year programme for those that have had a disavantaged education.

Contextual offers aren't based upon your school, you could go to a state comp and get the AA A grades and not have the above offering or contextual offerings because of your postcode.

On the other hand, if the teachers are good then small class sizes are really beneficial.

For a few years, extra funding was made available for certain state secondary classes in Scotland and it made a significant difference. Then the money ran out.

ETA I'm trying to remember exactly when it happened - the noughties, I think.

I know this is true, but it’s bloody idiotic. Oxford Poly, as it was in my day, is not where those who narrowly missed an Oxford place go. (That'd be the likes of Durham, Exeter, TCD, St Andrew’s et al)
This obsession with Oxford is very clearly a pestilential influence on youngsters, as OP has described. It distresses me that parents are just as silly about acquiring perceived status this way, while ignoring excellent academic standards at other top universities.
‘My son is at Oxford, you know. Such a talented boy’. Mothers storming up to Oxford demanding a ‘recount’ re their offspring’s offer/grades situation is dreadful, and must greatly add to the would-be student’s anxiety and sense of failure (when that failure is ANYTHING but total, with offers aplenty still).

They'd prefer to ‘lose’ a year by resitting examinations, with no guarantee of success.

Surely, surely nobody is so insightless as to send their child to private school then complain that other people are ‘gaming’ the system and that the world is ‘unfair’.

This POV is actually laughable.

Only about 1 in 6 A level predictions are accurate and as about 95 out of 100 pupils go to state school, I would say teachers in state schools are just as generous as ones in private schools. After all, the guidelines suggest we should predict positively.

Totally agree. The fetishisation of Oxbridge on this site is ridiculous. Meantime in the real world, no one cares

And your son’s not going to Oxford OP. Not gonna happen. Why on earth do you think he’ll even get an interview? Why would they take him ahead of a person doing their A levels next year who smashes it at the first attempt?

You’d all be better coming to terms with that and applying with grades in hand somewhere else he likes.

As for “the school are very supportive “ of course they are to some mug who will throw money at them unnecessarily for an extra year

I think the issue is that you haven’t managed yours or your son’s expectations about uni. You presumably knew before results this could be the issue and therefore thinking through plan B is always wise. He’s done incredibly well and his second choice uni would still be great. Why is it not good enough for you?!
Post uni many companies also prefer to take candidates from non Oxbridge to show diversity so please bear this in mind.

Your son may be academic but you both lack common sense and self awareness.

You are ridiculous to be angry at others' offers because your son didn't achieve his. If he had got his required grades, you wouldn't give a toss about it. And just because granny is paying, doesn't mean your whole family hasn't benefited massively from private education. In fact it's worse, because you're not even making a financial sacrifice yourself! You need to check your privilege.

You know some people get unconditional offers from Oxbridge? Maybe your son didn't really impress in interview. And clearly there are enough people who did get the grades to fill the places on his desired course.

Your son was utterly foolish and arrogant to put a second choice he didn't want. And now he's retaking to go from an A to A star. Why?! Oxford almost certainly won't offer. Presumably granny is forking out for another year of education for him too. What a shockingly privileged series of decisions. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I haven't read the thread but looking up studies of university performance is interesting- after controlling for GCSE attainment privately educated students do very slightly worse than state educated. However so do students who receive contextual offers - they underperform and are more likely to drop out. Personally I don't approve of social engineering and given that the student has little to no control over the school they attend think discriminating against privately educated students is wrong.

Contextual offers in Scotland are very blunt - the postcode of Holyrood palace is deprived!

Rural kids are disadvantaged because the postcodes are so big that they can't be used to tell their socioeconomic status, so the contextual offers system works against rural students.

How on earth has your son been discriminated against? He has attended private school paid for by obviously wealthy grandparents. He has two university educated parents in professional careers.

He didn't achieve the grades he needed to get into his chosen University/course like thousands of other students.

Contextual admissions are an attemptto level the playing field for students without the advantages of well-off parents and expensive private education. Some seriously disadvantaged children, such as care leavers, are helped by this policy. Do you begrudge them getting a contextual offer?

I'm sure your son could get into a really good University with those grades. He just wasn't quite good enough to get into Oxford.

rage bait post. as explained by others contextual offers irrelevant to this case.

what is worth remembering is the posters saying, he's not clever enough, didn't work hard enough etc - it's not really that.

Oxford, indeed any institution, makes an offer, a decision, presumably in good faith. And guess what sometimes they get it wrong.

they only issue here is the 2nd choice wasn't thought through.

You don’t get a contextual offer just for being at a state school, ffs. You have to be actually disadvantaged, e.g, by being at a school with a very low academic record, being on free school meals, and more.

Your son didn’t get his grades despite being massively privileged. Get ove4 it.

This thread is giving me flashbacks to an awkward family lunch. BIL has sent his child private and has the same views as op - that there is a grave injustice being perpetrated on private school pupils as paying should be enough to secure the places they want. And how friends of his were going to send their teens to state 6th form to gain further advantage.

Unfortunately he misjudged his audience as he said all this to state educated dd who has friends who are genuinely disadvantaged (young carers etc). Plus she’s full of youthful idealism. The lunch did not end well!

Your ds is highly privileged and isn't being discriminated against.

It was really unwise not to have talked through the second choice option when applying to Oxford. Getting in there is never a guarantee. Durham is a good uni and I imagine he'd have a great time there. The upset is around the expectation you and he have that you'll always get everything you want!

Your son sounds more mature than you!

It is the disappointment talking and that's understandable. You clearly heavily invested in him and it hasn't paid of just there and then. This is a choice YOU made though.

I debated long whether to send my eldest to private school because she had very high potential and dreams that required very high grades. In the end, I decided it wouldn't be fair on her because even knowing it would be wrong, the sacrifices I would make to pay for her private education would come with high expectations and that is not something I wanted on her shoulders.

You are also confused about contextual offers. It is not just about the school. Your address also comes into it and sometimes parental income. My DD went to a school that was on the list but still didn't meet the criteria for a contextual offer.

Of course there is some unfairness. A friend of my DD got such an offer because her parents divorced and her dad temporarily moved to an address that fell into the criteria but that's life.

You DS will do fine. Even the most successful kids sometimes hit a hitch and that is a lesson they need to learn to face adversity. Be more like your son. Focus on him rather than talking about the unfairness of the world when you've only started to care about it when it affected your family directly.

OP while I don't agree with the premise of your thread, PPs are totally out of order saying resits and trying again at a waste of time. He might get in, or not, second time around but it's a great lesson in perseverance and anything but a waste of time.
As you say he's still young and will have time to investigate other unis he might be interested in too.

There was a recent article this week about someone doing exactly what your son is doing and getting into Oxford with resits. It's far from impossible.

Slightly ironic OP - you've gamed the system by choosing to send your son to a private school for a privileged education and are now complaining others have gamed the system..

Apparantly so! My mistake.

You are not doing your son any favours by reacting like this. Sometimes life doesn’t follow the exact path we want and this is a lesson. You are teaching him to get a chip on his shoulder and blame under represented students rather than to adapt to what in the greater scheme of things is a fairly minor setback.
.He has been hugely privileged when it comes to education, got above average results and was offered a place at one of the most prestigious universities in the country (Durham). The fact that he never wanted to go to Durham yet put it as his insurance choice shows he doesn’t understand the UCAS system very well at all.

I just don’t have a violin tiny enough for you, OP. Sorry.

I don’t know what you’ve been reading but I promise you that Oxbridge and top universities aren’t stuffed full of kids who didn’t get the grades. They’re full of private school kids who did better than yours.

Wow so much ignorance and entitlement with the OP. Firstly contextual offers aren’t for all state schools just for some in specific poorer areas. There is a list.Grammar schools are unlikely to be offered contextual.

Contextual offers are very much needed and go some way to sort the over representation of the privately educated in the best unis.

Finally privately educating MNers like to tell us that all state schools are completely shit so As from state schools that are attained despite this are an awful lot more worthwhile than As from a child who needs classes of 15 and a private education to achieve the same.

Oxbridge are very unlikely to give a place to somebody privately educated that needs three years to achieve what others from state schools do in two.

Assuming it's a spoof post because Oxford doesn't make contextual offers.
https://www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate/applying/guide-for-applicants/decisions/contextual-information