AIBU to feel contextual offers are unfair after my son's results?

Your ds is highly privileged and isn't being discriminated against.

It was really unwise not to have talked through the second choice option when applying to Oxford. Getting in there is never a guarantee. Durham is a good uni and I imagine he'd have a great time there. The upset is around the expectation you and he have that you'll always get everything you want!

This thread is giving me flashbacks to an awkward family lunch. BIL has sent his child private and has the same views as op - that there is a grave injustice being perpetrated on private school pupils as paying should be enough to secure the places they want. And how friends of his were going to send their teens to state 6th form to gain further advantage.

Unfortunately he misjudged his audience as he said all this to state educated dd who has friends who are genuinely disadvantaged (young carers etc). Plus she’s full of youthful idealism. The lunch did not end well!

You don’t get a contextual offer just for being at a state school, ffs. You have to be actually disadvantaged, e.g, by being at a school with a very low academic record, being on free school meals, and more.

Your son didn’t get his grades despite being massively privileged. Get ove4 it.

rage bait post. as explained by others contextual offers irrelevant to this case.

what is worth remembering is the posters saying, he's not clever enough, didn't work hard enough etc - it's not really that.

Oxford, indeed any institution, makes an offer, a decision, presumably in good faith. And guess what sometimes they get it wrong.

they only issue here is the 2nd choice wasn't thought through.

How on earth has your son been discriminated against? He has attended private school paid for by obviously wealthy grandparents. He has two university educated parents in professional careers.

He didn't achieve the grades he needed to get into his chosen University/course like thousands of other students.

Contextual admissions are an attemptto level the playing field for students without the advantages of well-off parents and expensive private education. Some seriously disadvantaged children, such as care leavers, are helped by this policy. Do you begrudge them getting a contextual offer?

I'm sure your son could get into a really good University with those grades. He just wasn't quite good enough to get into Oxford.

I haven't read the thread but looking up studies of university performance is interesting- after controlling for GCSE attainment privately educated students do very slightly worse than state educated. However so do students who receive contextual offers - they underperform and are more likely to drop out. Personally I don't approve of social engineering and given that the student has little to no control over the school they attend think discriminating against privately educated students is wrong.

Contextual offers in Scotland are very blunt - the postcode of Holyrood palace is deprived!

Rural kids are disadvantaged because the postcodes are so big that they can't be used to tell their socioeconomic status, so the contextual offers system works against rural students.

Your son may be academic but you both lack common sense and self awareness.

You are ridiculous to be angry at others' offers because your son didn't achieve his. If he had got his required grades, you wouldn't give a toss about it. And just because granny is paying, doesn't mean your whole family hasn't benefited massively from private education. In fact it's worse, because you're not even making a financial sacrifice yourself! You need to check your privilege.

You know some people get unconditional offers from Oxbridge? Maybe your son didn't really impress in interview. And clearly there are enough people who did get the grades to fill the places on his desired course.

Your son was utterly foolish and arrogant to put a second choice he didn't want. And now he's retaking to go from an A to A star. Why?! Oxford almost certainly won't offer. Presumably granny is forking out for another year of education for him too. What a shockingly privileged series of decisions. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I think the issue is that you haven’t managed yours or your son’s expectations about uni. You presumably knew before results this could be the issue and therefore thinking through plan B is always wise. He’s done incredibly well and his second choice uni would still be great. Why is it not good enough for you?!
Post uni many companies also prefer to take candidates from non Oxbridge to show diversity so please bear this in mind.

And your son’s not going to Oxford OP. Not gonna happen. Why on earth do you think he’ll even get an interview? Why would they take him ahead of a person doing their A levels next year who smashes it at the first attempt?

You’d all be better coming to terms with that and applying with grades in hand somewhere else he likes.

As for “the school are very supportive “ of course they are to some mug who will throw money at them unnecessarily for an extra year

Totally agree. The fetishisation of Oxbridge on this site is ridiculous. Meantime in the real world, no one cares

Only about 1 in 6 A level predictions are accurate and as about 95 out of 100 pupils go to state school, I would say teachers in state schools are just as generous as ones in private schools. After all, the guidelines suggest we should predict positively.

Surely, surely nobody is so insightless as to send their child to private school then complain that other people are ‘gaming’ the system and that the world is ‘unfair’.

This POV is actually laughable.

I know this is true, but it’s bloody idiotic. Oxford Poly, as it was in my day, is not where those who narrowly missed an Oxford place go. (That'd be the likes of Durham, Exeter, TCD, St Andrew’s et al)
This obsession with Oxford is very clearly a pestilential influence on youngsters, as OP has described. It distresses me that parents are just as silly about acquiring perceived status this way, while ignoring excellent academic standards at other top universities.
‘My son is at Oxford, you know. Such a talented boy’. Mothers storming up to Oxford demanding a ‘recount’ re their offspring’s offer/grades situation is dreadful, and must greatly add to the would-be student’s anxiety and sense of failure (when that failure is ANYTHING but total, with offers aplenty still).

They'd prefer to ‘lose’ a year by resitting examinations, with no guarantee of success.

On the other hand, if the teachers are good then small class sizes are really beneficial.

For a few years, extra funding was made available for certain state secondary classes in Scotland and it made a significant difference. Then the money ran out.

ETA I'm trying to remember exactly when it happened - the noughties, I think.

Cambridge university offers a Foundation Year programme for those that have had a disavantaged education.

Contextual offers aren't based upon your school, you could go to a state comp and get the AA A grades and not have the above offering or contextual offerings because of your postcode.

You lost me at spending the summer in South America and America, as the mother of a hard worker hoping to get a contextual offer for Edinburgh next year, who could only dream of getting to go abroad for these types of opportunities, I am absolutely shocked that you went to uni and cannot see your son's privilege.

Does Oxford accept resits then? Did your son's school not check if remarks could be done to bump up one of the As to A*. I mean I'm struggling to accept this is anything more than a goady post. Not aware of children getting contextual offers simply for being at a state sixth form unless the school is in an underrepresented area which I imagine most grammar sixth forms that you speak of most definitely wouldnt be.

Those are fantastic results OP, it might mean that Oxford wasn't meant to be but there are other universities, maybe look further afield, doesn't have to be the UK.

I know of people who resat and got in the 2nd time, good luck! Please recognise that your son is in a very privileged position to be able to consider doing that, many would not be able to due to finances, parents expecting them to move out at 18 etc.

Forgot to add, in our school we had 2 PhD teachers in STEM, who could not teach for toffee, we, parents, had to explain to the headmaster, than knowing a subject to a PhD level does not make you a better teacher - the absurdity of it!

I also really don't understand all this noise about class sizes - if teachers are rubbish, class sizes are irrelevant.

If teachers are not up to scratch (as in our private school) class sizes are irrelevant. And how extra curriculars are relevant? And alumni? How do extra curriculars and alumni impact exam results?

Im confused so is he going to Durham or is he going to retake and try for Oxford ?

Both are true - you know how athletes are often broken - they try their best and then coaches ask for some more - so he could have reduced his sleeping hours, he could have slapped nicotine patches or whatever else they do to stay alert -

My ds went to a state school and got 4 A levels - 3 A stars (in maths, further maths and chemistry with 100 ums in both maths papers ) and A in physics. He applied to and got an offer from Cambridge but went to Durham and got a first in MMath. Nearly everyone there had 3 A*s and nany struggled.
Your sons A level results are not as good as you tbink. You are deluded. He is not oxbridge material if he can't walk FM A level!
And they are very unlikely to give him an offer based on resits!