AIBU to feel contextual offers are unfair after my son's results?

I thought universities like Oxbridge looked at where GCSEs were taken, so moving to a state sixth form from private wouldn’t have any effect? But then I know Tiffin Boys had approx 56 Oxbridge offers last year - approx 5 times higher than that of the super selective private schools near it. So makes me wonder!

Either way the OP’s son wasn’t discriminated against - especially as he received an offer in the first place!

I’m baffled that you think the admissions officers only look at the name of the sixth form and ignore the secondary school. You think pupils can attend a private school then switch to a state 6th form to trick Oxbridge admissions officers? All prior secondary / 6th form education is on the admissions form so it’s clear who had any sort of private secondary education. Aren’t parental occupations also asked for?

I still take credit for my friend going to Cambridge, because she scoffed at the idea of going when she was fifteen, and I said that of course we were Oxbridge material.

(She was the first in her family to go, my family have been attending Oxbridge since there was an Oxbridge to attend - I'm more pleased that she went then I did!)

This has to be one of the most obnoxious posts I've ever read on here.

If he's 18 and only now finding life is unfair he is very privileged.

It’s not just contacts though is it it’s being personable /likeable /having charm and sadly how you look. Life can be very unfair and these kids told having strings of As is the absolute passport to success will get a nasty shock.

I don’t think we use “TLDR” for a single sentence … 🤣

Reapply! 100%! He'll regret it if he doesn't. I went to Oxford, loads of people I know got in second time round. Got to be persistent. Oxbridge loves determination. And if you pick a new college, I doubt they'll realise it was a reapplication.

And - yes - it IS worth it - the tutorial system alone is extraordinary, and they have a lot more resource to spend on students. People who don't understand its value just haven't been there. (I know you understand this, more talking to the others on the thread here!). For reference, I did 2 essays a week for my subject, with a 2-to-1 tutorial on each (plus lectures). Equiv course at Bristol was 2 each term. Like night and day!

Re preference for state applicants, in my experience this was very college dependant. Tutors care to varying extents. When I turned up, my tutors hadn't a clue where anyone had been to school. Doubt they even knew by the end! Make sure you choose a college like that :)

FYI they give mad offers to everyone - I had done maths and music A levels in year 11 (at a state school, I then went back to private for sixth form FWIW) and was asked to achieve four new A levels at top grades - they wouldn't consider my early ones. I ended up with 6. Load of people I know there had 6 actually...

That said, clearly there are real errors with how they handle accessibility: the scandal with the George Abaraonye was pretty bleak. I hope they've learned from it.

Re state vs private privilege (again talking to thread rather than ThatQuickLilacOrca here) worth remembering that many Oxf private school applicants are scholars at their expensive school and have reduced fees / wouldn't otherwise have been able to afford the private school. Some private schools are wildly selective - the children have almost done Oxbridge selection at 11 to enter in the first place. It makes total sense that there would be disproportionate private school intake given how selective some are. Having gone to both state and private (latter as a scholar), I would say my biggest advantage in life was cultural inheritance - my parents read me lots of books - not cash.

Everyone feels hard done by, but they make the rules. I'm sure he'll be an even better applicant second time round.

Good luck!

Just wait until his year group graduates and quickly realize the contacts made at private school do much more for a career than the degree certificates they've all ended up with, oxbridge or not.

TLDR: he's still going to be at a massive advantage.

I feel very strongly that contextual offers are fair and should continue. When one of my adopted sons suddenly announced he wanted to apply for university, I wasn't convinced this would be possible. (For background, he and his brother had a traumatic early life and had been fostered for years before being adopted. They had attended the poorest performing local comp and had shown no interest in pursuing qualifications). On researching different degrees and universities, we discovered that my son would be eligible for a contextual offer to pursue his chosen course. Even so, to get enough UCAS points, he still had to do an extra online Access to Higher Education diploma, completely self-taught. Without the benefit of a contextual offer my son would not have been able to go to university, get his degree and now be pursuing his chosen career.

I can't express how proud I am of what both of sons have achieved in life, despite all the hurdles they have had to overcome. In recognition of that, it seems entirely reasonable to me that contextual officers should continue as one small recognition that opportunities for children are in no way equal.

Yes I'd definitely recommend Edinburgh. He'll fit right in, as it is full of Oxbridge rejectees slumming it and making it very clear to the other students, (especially if they're locals) that they'd just missed out and deserved SO much better than this) .

How do I know? Because my daughter was there a few years back. However rather than it being her "I suppose it'll do" choice, she worked so bloody hard at her shitty Edinburgh comprehensive to get there (remember no grammar school options in Scotland).

For someone who claims not to be entitled, your entitlement oozes out of everything you've said. I really hope that your son's attitude is better than yours or he will be THAT student lording it over the plebs at his very much 2nd choice.

I think this country likes to discriminate against children whose parents just want the best of the best for their children.

My daughter received contextual offers - I'm a single parent (having left and abusive marriage), and was a full time carer for elderly parents when she applied to uni. Before and after I've worked in the public sector.

None of that stopped me wanting the best for my daughter funnily enough. She also didn't get into her first choice of uni, and has still had to work her backside off for the last three years.

She's been able to obtain scholarships and other support and I'm just incredibly grateful she's had the opportunities she's had, and proud of her plans to give back by going into a career as a human rights barrister.

It's disappointing for anyone to not get their first choice of uni, but frankly you need to be a bit more appreciative of your privilege (regardless of where it originated) and get over yourself.

@ThatQuickLilacOrca how did they 'game the system' ? Because just going to a state rather than private school will make zero difference (unless it's a really tough one and not sure that would be an acceptable group of friends for dear Tarquin).

The majority of state students need the same grades as private ones. V v uneducated to think otherwise.

Oxbridge is, and has been for a v long time, 70% state school educated 🤷‍♀️

It sounds like your son has had every advantage in life and will be absolutely fine.

The idea of Oxbridge being a golden ticket is so exaggerated for the reasons you describe.

Oxbridge graduates are over-represented in "top" professions but they're also much more likely to be from backgrounds that give them an advantage anyway.

If you're the child of a partner in a law firm your success in gaining a training contract might not be wholly down to the wonders of the Oxbridge education.

I’m really sorry for what has happened and I can’t imagine I’d feel furious and frustrated in your place. But this really isn’t the place to vent. The chances of getting in after a missed offer/resit are really not good. Also the privileges attendant on Oxbridge degree really aren’t what they used to be: jobs are hard to come by for everyone now. You’d be doing him a huge favour to encourage him to give Durham a try and get on with his life. He will still do very well. Look at Oxford for grad school if he does very well in his undergrad.

oh behave and stop with the pity party you are not helping your ds with this attitude

vast majority (some we know don't care) want the best for their children

vast majority of parents simply can not even consider private education costs its just not on their radar

any parent who sends their child to private is buying into a privileged system that it doesn't always quite play out that way is life that most people have to deal with

Would have been a school like 'Christ's Hospital' is. Many children go for free as fees are means tested. My DH went there.

One of my daughter's friends had a contextual offer for medicine because she's a young carer. She got Astar, Astar, A in her A levels on Thursday. If she can do it with all the bad things that have happened in her life then why should the likes of your son get a place over people like her when he couldn't hit his required grades and she blew hers out of the water.

Op, it might be worth exploring if he could take them as a private candidate in November and free up the rest of his year to do something productive.

FWIW it[s much easier to get into Oxbridge for an MA, if you can fund that further down the line.

Edinburgh will need to roll out the red carpet.

A student with 1 Astar and 2As going to Edinburgh? Imagine! Whatever next?

Good thing he hasn't chosen Durham as those grades would have really blown their minds.

There are lots of different types of discrimination. Disability, race, gender. This is not discrimination.

I might be being dim but what's the difference between AAA and AAA? Also, yes, I think you're being unreasonable. When I was at school, which was a rough comp, I didn't even Oxford was a place. It wasn't mooted. Neither was Durham. The university options suggested to us were all ones that were geographically close. Everyone was suggested the same three or so universities, irrespective of their potential. We had no careers guidance. I'm not saying that's ideal but it illustrates the differences between private and some comprehensive schools. Levelling the playing field is a positive thing. Also Durham is a great university, so I don't see the issue. I'm sure he'll flourish and have a blast.

Indicators of privilege in your post:

1. Attended private school
2. Family money paid for that private education
3. Two parents in secure knowledge-based employment
4. Supported to get work experience abroad
5. Multiple foreign trips in one year

And that's just the stuff you've mentioned. I bet he's also grown up in a house full of books, being read to and encouraged to learn and develop a growth mindset. I bet he's had extra support with anything he's struggled or excelled in and access to a range of extra-curricular activities.

With all of that advantage he should have outperformed kids from state school in his exams. Contextual awards are a leveller and if you are encouraging him to think that this is unfair then you are doing a huge disservice to him.