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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu? Are people this bad to make up rumours after a breakup.

32 replies

linds955 · 16/08/2026 22:17

Will try and make this as short as possible. Last weekend me and the boyfriend had a brief breakup. We’re talkin 2/3 days. I have a friend who I used to work with. He has a girlfriend. Been friends for years, no flirtiness nothing in it just someone I would vent to every so often. So when me and my boyfriend broke up I told him what happened and tbh we broke up over something stupid. But anyway I told my friend this and he replied to me with the most word stuff I could hear. “You are better off without him he slept with one of my friends and she said he’s a sleazeball and straight after they had sex he told her he still sleeps with his ex wife whenever he has no other options” he then proceeded to tell me my partner and this girl met on tinder when I know he’s never been on tinder. He said they slept together last year and then he said it was around Christmas time.. which hurt me as me and him started seeing each other around Christmas time. Told me the reason why my partner and his ex wife broke up was because he cheated on her (which I’ve never heard) he did used to work in a bar (which is how me and him met) and honestly I was going into this bar for years before he actually asked me on a date. Was always respectful to me etc. so.. here’s the confusing part. Whenever me and partner got back together I told him all this and what was said and he said he’s never slept with that girl before but a year and a half ago he was at a party with her and they just kissed but never had sex. My partner was so angry to that he actually messaged this friend of mine and showed me all the messaged. And he even says in the messages to my friend he honestly didn’t sleep with her and to tell her to stop lying and saying they did. This is all so confusing to me. Are people bad enough to make shit up like that? It’s the fact he said it was around Christmas time (when we started seeing each other) then my boyfriend said it was a year in a half ago. He also went into detail and said he knows it was ages ago because he didn’t live in the house he’s in now and he’s lived there a year. I feel like it’s going to impact our relationship

OP posts:
Marroon · 17/08/2026 07:53

Face it, it’s very unlikely your friend has made this up.

Muffsies · 17/08/2026 07:49

This doesn't sound like a very happy relationship. No one here can tell you whether the rumors are true or not, but things are so messy now it's going to be very difficult for you two to carry on, especially since you have breakups over silly things anyway. I'd cut your losses and try to split on good terms, don't accuse him of anything, just say it's not working out and you don't want things to turn sour.

Do it for your own mental health, i guarantee you will feel better and you can do much better than this.

mamajong · 17/08/2026 07:49

There a few red flags here

  • A 2/3 day breakup...over what? Driven by who? If you got together this Christmas just gone then breaking up less than a year in suggests the makings of a volatile relationship ahead
  • You say ' i know he has never been on tinder' how? Also could be a slip of the tongue, a lot of people refer to ol dating as tinder. Feels like you are looking for evidence its not true
  • 'He went into a lot of detail' - this can be a sign of a liar in my experience, not always but its a potential red flag
  • what motivation does your friend have to lie? What about the other girl he kissed/slept with? Your bf on the other hand has a reason
  • you say he showed you the messages asking why she is lying - from now or from the time?
  • do you know why he and ex wife split? Do they have kids together/are they still in contact?

None of this means he is lying but there are red flags to me. Have you met his family and friends? Are you a couple on social media and is he open ab you ie sharing pictures of you together / tagging you? Whats his social media behaviour like? Does he interact with other women's profiles, have a lot of female friends that you've never met etc? Is there any other shady behaviour such as not wanting to go out locally, being cagey with his phone...

Original poster
linds955 · 17/08/2026 07:42

Venusunbroken · 17/08/2026 07:39

Op surely no one is this naive. Your boyfriend is the liar, your poor friend, getting shot for telling the truth,

Really? People were calling me crazy for believing it. But keep in mind this was a guy that told me this info. And a lot of what he told me didn’t make sense ?

OP posts:
Venusunbroken · 17/08/2026 07:39

Op surely no one is this naive. Your boyfriend is the liar, your poor friend, getting shot for telling the truth,

Original poster
linds955 · 17/08/2026 07:30

Boreded · 17/08/2026 02:22

You boyfriend is the liar…run and don’t look back

How do you know?

OP posts:
Boreded · 17/08/2026 02:22

You boyfriend is the liar…run and don’t look back