Aibu? Are people this bad to make up rumours after a breakup.

@linds955 I always think when men tell you things about other men, listen.
Men tend not to "do gossip." Your friend could have told you this prior to your break up, he chose not to, probably because he didn't want to upset you whilst you were in a relationship. Once you had the break up, he told you because he believes it would help you see this guy's true colours.

Your friend has absolutely nothing to gain from "making up" anything. On the other hand your boyfriend has a lot to lose. Of course he's going to text your friend and deny everything, because he's a cheat and liar.

Trust your friend.

You asked we told you! Now go forth and do what you will….

Don't trust him even a quarter of an inch Op, to be honest none of the people in your post sound particularly nice, get rid of your unfaithful boyfriend and move on from this toxic situation. You sound very young and far too trusting

I thought you were very young Op, from hour writing.

If you are, and this is an age gap relationship, even more reason to run.

What a load of playground nonsense. Bf sounds horrible. Friend isn't being particularly helpful - if they knew bf had cheated on you or was otherwise bad for you why wait to tell you now? And I wonder why you've persisted with a friendship with a man who likes you but is married (until recently,). Do you like this level of drama, OP? Sounds exhausting.

A relationship shouldn't be this complicated after only 8 months.
Been with DH 15 years and we've never had breakups.
What does this relationship bring to your life that makes it better?

It means you are choosing not to see that your boyfriend is a liar and a cheat. You would rather believe his lies than the truth from someone with no reason to lie.

Of course your boyfriend is going to deny it, why wouldn’t he. And you are just expected to trust him.

Honestly if you weren’t going to listen to the advice of others then why did you bother posting. Just know that he is/has/will cheat on you and you are worth more than that, you don’t need to waste your time with a clown

Sounds like a bunch of childish drama! I’d be gone.

Oh thank God; had such strong déjà vu I was worried about my brain!

It's a proverb.

It means those who flatly refuse to see the evidence in front of them are "more blind" than those with a sight impairment.

It's blatantly obvious your (ex?) boyfriend is a liar and cheat. You're hunting for answers elsewhere because you don't want to admit what's clearly there.

Stop trying to figure out why stupid people do stupid things, you won't find any satisfactory answers bc there are none, you're on a fools errand.

Don't try to rationslise, don't try to argue it out. You just need to break up with him. Surely you have better things to do and can aim a bit higher for yourself?

None so blind as those who will not see.

You know why, as it was true.

You write like a teenager and refer to your friend as 'boy' but your man has teenage kids and a 23 year long marriage? Age gap? This all sounds very messy.

You said in your op you’ve been friends for years, he’s a partner and no flirtyness. Now he fancies you and there is and he made it up, whay so he could be with you?you think that makes sense? You were already split.

he’s clearly not told you before as you were with him,. Why on earth would he make it up after you split up,

Sounds like teen drama tbh

A boy? How old are you all?

My partner was so angry to that he actually messaged this friend of mine and showed me all the messaged. And he even says in the messages to my friend he honestly didn’t sleep with her and to tell her to stop lying and saying they did

So he messaged your friend? Weird

Sorry OP but you’re in massive denial. The idea that your friend would make this up just to stir up trouble is highly implausible.

The simplest explanation is almost always the correct one.

Even if half of this is true, your boyfriend is an unreliable sleaze.

Get rid.

This is very classic behaviour isn’t it. You break up ( over something stupid) and a friend says “ I never liked him anyway” and then you get back together again. I don’t really know why it matters if it was at Christmas or not. Presumably you want your getting together to be this special moment and not sullied by the fact he was shagging someone else at the same time. You’re not going to find the answer from either of them as they both have motivation to lie. So, worse case scenario he slept with this woman. What difference does it make now?

You posted this before and were advised to forget him and move on

So the boy who told you all this stuff used to have a liking for you, but he is still the person you choose to confide in when you are having relationship issues? If you suspect he has feelings for you, why are you still close friends? If its all in the past why would he lie?

But also why did you split up for 2/3 days and then get back together? Whose idea was that? Gor me personally thats the biggest red flag esp if youve been together less than a year and already splitting up and getting back together.

I dont know you but alarm bells would be clanging loud for me personally