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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to use the toilet while my husband is showering?

117 replies

Respos · 16/08/2026 18:54

Don't know what topic you'd put this under but picture this scenario - one bathroom in the house, husband is in the shower, you're suddenly desperate for the toilet - what do you do?

OP posts:
OpenGoose · 16/08/2026 22:22

Another person here who likes to chat while each other are on the toilet, it doesn't really bother us. If it's a disgusting smelling poo I'd probably tell him so and laugh before leaving but otherwise don't really care

gamerchick · 16/08/2026 22:18

There are no locks on our doors. Mine wouldn't care.
I do have 2 bogs though, so doesn't come up.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 16/08/2026 22:15

This is totally fine in my marriage. Both ways, any toileting option. We like to chat!! From discussing with friends I have realised that this is quite unusual and I guess it’s lucky we found each other 😁

Disturbia81 · 16/08/2026 22:12

Snippit · 16/08/2026 22:02

My SIL will have a dump whilst her husband is in the bath 🤢 absolutely vile, hubby and myself were horrified. Before we moved and had another loo, if I was desperate for a wee when he was in the shower I’d ask him to turn his back.

How on earth can he find her attractive after that 😷

Disturbia81 · 16/08/2026 22:12

Wee of course but anyone who does a poo while their partner is in the same room is fucking gross.

Cherrysoup · 16/08/2026 22:11

Wee, yes, poo, hell no, he’s trapped in the shower, most unfair unless you have a medical issue. I certainly wouldn’t flush, this changes the temperature and might scald/freeze him.

Goldengirl123 · 16/08/2026 22:10

Wee yes, poo no

NotAnotherScarf · 16/08/2026 22:08

I think everyone is missing the point, it's not ones or twos, but did you flush. If so you burnt his nuts and he's got every right to be pissed off

summater · 16/08/2026 22:04

Well, I don't think I would sit there and have a good shit

greengreengrass3 · 16/08/2026 22:03

A quick wee, I wouldn’t even bat an eye lid but that’s as far as is exceptable for either of us, we have more toilets then people so wouldn’t ever be a thing for us anyway.

likeitshard · 16/08/2026 22:02

Wee - yes
poo - no

I wouldn’t flush though

Snippit · 16/08/2026 22:02

My SIL will have a dump whilst her husband is in the bath 🤢 absolutely vile, hubby and myself were horrified. Before we moved and had another loo, if I was desperate for a wee when he was in the shower I’d ask him to turn his back.

PollyBell · 16/08/2026 21:58

I would have gone before the shower

CinderellaGotOld · 16/08/2026 21:56

With two young kids who do not consider the toilet door any barrier to getting to me when I’m in there, all sense of privacy has pretty much disappeared so I’m pretty immune to it - would have no issues with a no 1 in front of him. Will try and poo in peace though!

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/08/2026 21:53

Marroon · 16/08/2026 19:07

I think under exceptional circumstances you should avoid it. It would annoy me if my DH was constantly pissing while I was trying to have a bath or shower.

Why do you need to "try" to shower or bath? How hard can it be?

wellington77 · 16/08/2026 21:52

Respos · 16/08/2026 18:54

Don't know what topic you'd put this under but picture this scenario - one bathroom in the house, husband is in the shower, you're suddenly desperate for the toilet - what do you do?

My husband and I go to the loo infront of eachother if one’s Having a shower. He’s literally seen everything anyway, when your husband has seen you poo yourself while giving birth on all fours screaming and he’s at the business end, you just don’t care anymore!

DurinsBane · 16/08/2026 21:51

No1 fairly regularly. No2 is a no!

greenleaf01 · 16/08/2026 21:48

Error

B1anche · 16/08/2026 21:36

LBFseBrom · 16/08/2026 21:22

I always did, so did my husband. It's not as if we have anything they've not seen before.

In threads like this, there are always people who come along and imply that anyone who does not want to piss and shit in front of their other half, is in some way uptight. Actually, I just prefer being able to get on with things without an audience. I'm the same if I'm cooking; I don't want people coming in and chatting or sticking their head in the fridge.

LBFseBrom · 16/08/2026 21:22

I always did, so did my husband. It's not as if we have anything they've not seen before.

MsIceSandwich · 16/08/2026 21:19

SquirrelGG · 16/08/2026 20:54

If it's just for a pee it wouldn't worry me at all, and in fact it's been done by both of us. A poo is a bit different, but if it was urgent, well it's urgent.

I really don't get how people can have sex together and yet be so delicate over toilet issues. Confused

I tend not to shit when we're having sex...ymmv.

Pistachiocake · 16/08/2026 21:15

QueenStevie · 16/08/2026 19:03

I think it depends if it's a number one or number two. A quick wee, I could probably cope with although it wouldn't be ideal but anyone doing a stinky poo in front of their partner - just no! To be fair, if he is just in the showers he is only 5 mins anyway so I suppose the only occasion when I couldn't wait was if I suddenly was taken very unwell in which case I would yell, "Get out! It's an emergency!" Otherwise, I would just wait a few minutes.

Now DD and her epic baths on the other hand...this is the reason I would never have a one loo house ever again! They can go on for hours.

Weren't most one-loo houses originally made with the toilet separate from the bath/shower? Never got why people knocked them through to make one room!

Unless I was desperate, I'd not use the loo when anyone was in the shower, but if I lived in a one bathroom place, I'd expect people to ask if anyone needed the loo before showering.

mrsm43s · 16/08/2026 21:13

It depends on how you and your husband feel about it really. DH and I are quite happy and comfortable peeing, pooing and indeed showering in front of each other if the need arises (we don't go out of our way to do it!). But if anyone wasn't, then you hold on til the person occupying the bathroom finishes.

Pinkchickenwine · 16/08/2026 21:04

SALaw · 16/08/2026 18:59

I wouldn’t go from not needing to desperate so quickly that I wouldn’t have either gone before he showers or be able to wait until he’s finished. Been together 20 years and no need to ever use the toilet in front of each other. I grew up in a house with 1 bathroom and no one ever had this issue.

This!

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 16/08/2026 21:04

Not a problem in our relationship. I quite like the company. It’s just a wee. He’s seen me give birth!