AIBU to be amused that my family want me to help them financially after telling me I’ve ruined my life by marrying for £?

It sounds like you’re very happy, and your husband is happy. Marrying someone you love and respect, who treats you well, and you him, and whose company you enjoy sounds very sensible if you’re both aware of what it is. You don’t have to be lusting after someone for it to be a happy marriage.

As for your family, I agree, quite the turnaround! Having your nephew over in a childcare emergency is one thing, a nice thing to do, helping financially is quite another bit different. What does your DH think?

Yup, me too

The sister who now wants to share the nanny (that the OP's rich H pays for) for childcare for her son? THAT sister??

Not sure the words "self respect" comes to mind re her

But it's literally not her money? She didn't earn it, write the invoice or provide any services. DH earns a lot but I would never consider the income he made through his job as "mine" to give to other people. An exception would be joint expenditures such as home repairs, bills, school fees etc.

But there's nothing feminist about claiming money earned by your husband is now 100% yours to spend just because you are married. It's setting women back to believe that you can just claim taxed cash from personal relationships without ever providing a value or service for them.

EDIT: Obviously if the husband is happy for her to spend X amount however she wants then it's clearly her money. But that's never been clarified here or what amounts we're talking about. Some wives get regular allowances every month and others have to ask for large expenditures on a case by case basis.

I don’t know why you’re getting so much grief, OP. It seems that you chose your husband with open eyes and are happy with your situation. It’s not for anyone else to judge (and imho a lot of that judgement stems from envy).

As for your family, how are they towards you and your husband now? Have they accepted him into the family? If money is really not an issue, I would help occasionally, but would agree with DH beforehand. Not because it’s his money, but because that’s how married couples should make decisions together.

As for helping with childcare in an emergency, I would if I could.

Not necessarily. Many very wealthy men have all their assets tied into various trusts or companies and pay themselves a token income on paper. It's also unclear whether the husband has a first wife and other children from previous marriages. There could be prenups or postnups in place. And lastly, the wife may not even be able to afford a lawyer to fight for 50%.

We know many cases in real life which were less transactional but still the typical SAHM with wealthy husbands. Many lived in luxury during the marriage but ended up with virtually nothing, including custody of their children, after they were replaced by another wife.

Just throwing this out there - imo once you're married it's not right to throw the 'not your money' jibe, whether you agree with relationships like this or not. Comments like that are toxic and keep women down.

My first big love was 48 and I was 24. No money involved though.

I thought that. But today she's asking a different question ❓

They're married. She gets half.

Tell your family they can’t access your sugar daddy’s money because it’s his and not yours. I hope the comfortable life you’re leading is worth giving up your youth for.

Chinny reckon

Just make sure you’re taken care of in a divorce or untimely death.

Not the point, but she's very wrong calling you a hooker. Sex workers are generally financially savvy and independent women who would never rely on one single man for their income.

I find it odd you think you’re incredibly lucky. I actually think you’re incredibly unlucky, that you haven’t settled down with someone who is your soul mate, who you love with all your heart.

It’s always being banged on about on here that when you’re married all money is family money. Why is this any different? PP’s saying ‘but it’s not your money’. Which is it??

At The moment you have the upper hand , personally I don’t think it’s nice what you have done , does he know your just about the £££ , no doubt your leave him in about 10-15 years and will take him for everything as now you have a child, .. you family are only doing what you have done

I think you have accepted with grace the cristism of your family 5 years ago.

I think most families would have had the same concerns for their 20 something daughter doing what you did. Everyone would like their child to be happy.

Do you have cast iron plan if your marriage does not work out and have to work? Are you putting investments and pension in your own name?

Sounds very familiar, and OP hasn't been back to reply to any comments. Yawn.

an allowance?

I can see her Mum was worried.

Sounds like you contribute nothing if you don't work but have a nanny, cleaner and housekeeper. Don't you feel even slightly guilty at giving your family money that you've done bugger all to earn? Let's hope SD doesn't tire of you spending all his money and trade you in for a younger model.

Does he have any grown up kids from a previous relationship? Can you be sure he's provided for you in his will, should he die first? Be an awful disappointment if he's left everything to his kids/other family members.

Well if you're happy fair enough, I'm assuming you're just boasting though. As someone up thread said they probably think they may as well ask as they can't change it!
I don't envy you though, you have all the material possessions you want ok, but that's it. I would be very very bored if I was you. Do you just float about doing nothing all day, whilst your nanny watches your child(or children)?

@pragmaticnotsorry if you marry for money, then yes, you’re a glorified hooker.

They were right to point this out, and steer you away from this seedy greedy life choice.

You chose to ignore them and offer sex in return for money, and as there’s plenty of money, they may aswell use your H too, whilst this fake marriage lasts. You could help them, but also point out that they’re not a lot better than you are. But, note, they are a little better as they probably wouldn’t lower themselves to actually sleep with someone for money.

I've never met a nanny who would be happy to be sent off to another family like this. Very odd.

This 💯