I’m in my late 20s and have been with my partner for six years, married for two. He’s quite a bit older than me (late 50s) and wealthy. He pays for pretty much everything, I don’t work, and I have a very comfortable life.
I didn’t go into it thinking I’d found the love of my life. We met through work, got on, and there is genuine affection between us, but I’m not going to pretend the financial side isn’t a major reason I’m still here.
Before him I was fresh out of uni, working ridiculous hours, commuting, renting a grim flat and spending most of my salary on simply existing. Now I live in a lovely house, don’t work, have a cleaner and nanny/housekeeper, travel several times a year and generally live very differently. I know I’m incredibly lucky.
My mum and older sister hated the relationship when they found out. My mum told me I was wasting my twenties, becoming financially dependent on a man, that I was a hooker and that I’d regret not having a “proper career”.
My sister is in her mid-30s and works as a senior associate at a big City law firm. She’s married to another lawyer she met there and they have a child. They both work very long hours. They’re doing well, but between the mortgage, nursery, holidays etc., they have nowhere near the disposable income I do.
Over the last year, things have changed. My mum has started asking me for financial help with things like a family holiday, a renovation and an unexpected bill. My sister has also started asking if my nanny can look after my nephew when their childcare falls through.
I don’t mind helping. I love my nephew and I’m happy to help my mum when I can. But I do find it funny that five years ago I was apparently making a terrible life decision, and now I’m the person everyone comes to when they need something.
I’m genuinely proud of my sister and know she works incredibly hard. I suppose what annoys me is the assumption that I need rescuing from my own choices, while everyone is quite happy to benefit from those same choices.
AIBU to find the whole thing a little ironic?