To resent carrying all of the mental load of catering for DSD's dietary requirements

Is your relationship really going to last with this man?

You must hate him dumping all the labour of cooking for, and feeding his kids. Why does he get to refuse?

At 7 she is more than old enough to help out or start learning in the kitchen.
Would this be an option?

I would be serving roast chicken and vegetables, olive oil no butter or cream. Boiled rice or pasta if you want more carbs. Fruit for pudding with the option of yoghurt for those not on a dairy restriction. I would serve this every single night and if anyone objected to the repetition I would insist they come up with at least two options that would meet all the requirements for everyone at the table.

YANBU, ask your DH to sit with you and meal plan.

But YABU to accept that your DC will complain about no meat / not eat a few vegetarian or even vegan meals. There are so many options, I can’t believe they genuinely dislike all of them - random ideas:
Ratatouille and rice
Savoury muffins (broccoli/tomato/pine nuts for ex)
Tomato/watermelon/mozzarella salad
Omelette with onions + any leftover veg
Gazpacho or other cold soups (courgette, pea/mint, etc)
Butternut and peppers quesadillas
Veg lasagna

Though in your OP you state that “DP converted while married to her so is technically the same religion” so not ‘born into’?
If DP would ‘only’ feed his DD ready meals, why d’you need to worry what you put in front of her?

If she is upset she can’t have the cheese, then she can have the cheese. She should be allowed to make her own choices.

Pass it over to DP. His child, his religion, his responsibility

No way would I be doing this. Cook one meal for all and if she or DP doesn't like it DP can start cooking her meals.

How old are your kids? Their fussiness sounds way more annoying tbh! But yes, your DH needs to step up.

So you have another month to go. Right your DO sits down with you this evening and makes a 2 week meal plan that you then repeat. Lunch and dinner.

I do think buying vegan fake cheese is fine to have as a way of making things easier.

it’s ok to have some bung in the oven meals for both dsd and your dcs. just not every night, you could alternate it. Batch cook and microwave your own frozen meals sometimes to avoid having to have two meals cooking.

I think it’s absolutely terrible that your DP takes no responsibility for sorting out his own
child’s food requirements.

Full vegan definitely too much of an ask.

obviously your partner should be handling this but as he isn’t

rather than replace the meat would it be easier to replace the dairy?
use vegan butter, almond milk etc?

meat and two veg type meals can very easily be made dairy free.

sorry you are handling this, it’s not easy.

Go veggie

This doesnt handle the fact that OP was complaining that the mental load is all on her to feed her partners child. You're telling her to make her whole family go veggie, and come up with all meals to do so. That wasnt the question.

In reality her husband is a deadbeat dad pushing the mental load of feeding his child onto the new partner and its out of order...

I spent a long time trying, in misery, to come up with meals that fitted my requirements (low fat, hate fish), DC1 (pescatarian) and DC2 (hates quorn).

I have come to conclusion that it is far easier to cook three separate meals than suit a variety of fussy people. It was honestly a weight off. And it's much easier for you - get your DH to prep DSCs food for the week on a Sunday and just reheat.

Presume Judaism.

go veggie.

breakfast is presumably not a problem (milk and cereal or fruit etc)

lunch in the summer can be bread plus vegetables and fruit and either cheese or meat

so dinner is the only cooked meal.

jacket potato with beans,
pasta with sauce with meat or cheese
omelette with vegetables and chips or salad
make own pizza (veggie)
stir fry with vegetables and noodles and stir fry sauce
egg fried rice with vegetables

etc etc.

honestly in this weather there’s a lot of light meals that are fast to cook that can work for everyone.

don’t put a lot of effort into two separate meals

What meals are you cooking for your own children? Perhaps we could help come up with ways to adapt?

1. yes , your husband is horrifically lazy at parenting
2. pasta with things to add: a tomato sauce, some tinned tuna, cooked chicken, or cooked minced beef, peas, tinned or cob sweetcorn, cheese.
3. picnic style meals with flatbreads, hummus, salad items
4. build your own wrap meals, Mexican style, make a simple vegan bean chilli and have meat, cheese, guacamole on the side for people to add.
5. make your own pizzas

you see where I’d go with this food issue. But fundamentally your husband is massively taking the piss.

Ffs. ANOTHER man leaving parenting to the woman. Not even your child.
I would go as far as to say if he does doesn’t sort her food out she can’t come and explain it to her mother.

Seriously? This would be a dealbreaker.
We have husband’s grandchild sometimes who is gluten free, he buys and cooks all she needs, although I would happily do it because it’s not being expected or forced on me.

It’s clear that the religion is Judaism so the simplest thing to do is feed her vegetarian food. If her mother doesn’t like that she can look after her child herself.

I also wouldn’t be separating utensils or making other adjustments to my kitchen to cater to this. It’s not the child’s fault, but it’s also your husband/his ex-wife’s responsibility.

I’m guessing it’s keeping kosher and not being able to eat dairy and meat together as an extra complication.

have you put all the kids’ requirements/preferences and got AI to suggest some options? That could help. Your husband needs to step up. It’s his and his DD’s religion and he needs to be more involved.

Why are you accepting his treatment of you? Tell him to organise food for his child.

Stop being a doormat. Leave it to DH to organise.

Have you asked him to take care of more meal times?

this is ableist nonsense.

Some children have ARFID or other medical issues. You are laughing about trying to get calories and nutrition into growing children.