To resent carrying all of the mental load of catering for DSD's dietary requirements

I think it's a combination of the extent of the requirements, whilst not actually following all of them. Muslim dietary requirements don't seem as onerous. But I think there would be huge sympathy if the OP was trying to cater a Jain diet for weeks on end. That looks even harder.

Because no non Jewish child is ever over weight so it must be the kosher diet. Damn those pesky Jews with their bagels and lokshen pudding

Would you give this deeply unpleasant advice if the child had Muslim dietary requirements or are you just reserving your disdain for Jews?

Honestly so many comments on this thread that are so dismissive of Judaism. Wonder why?

If she has to wait six hours after meat before eating dairy then she is pretty orthodox and presumably you’re getting all of your meat from a kosher butcher? With these rules I’m surprised her mother is allowing her to eat in your house at all. Your best bet is to serve dairy and fish meals, tinned tuna, fresh fish, eggs, and avoid meat entirely. No reason why you can’t serve meat, potatoes and veg to your children and give her a portion of tuna instead of the meat. Or serve ham salad but give her eggs instead. Or buy tofu and corn for her.

Absolutely agree with other PP that her father should be stepping up and taking charge of this though

Im permanently astonished that people choose to live by such crazy rules for absolutely no real reason. What on earth is the benefit to all the restrictions?!

op, delegate to DH, he chose to become Jewish, marry someone Jewish and bring a child up Jewish… this is not your problem!

I think I would be going on holiday for the entire time she is there. Let him manage her care.

It sounds more like the time between milk and meat is a problem.

you still married him knowing he had a stepdaughter and that you needed to make sure, as a family, her needs weren't sidelined. You also had a child of your own who needed to be cared for. You both then went on and had two more children so of course mealtimes will be tricky. I don't know what you expected! If you are the one working part time then of course most of the sorting of meals and shops will fall to you

So I’m guessing it’s no milk and meat, no pork and no shellfish?

Just chuck it all into AI and the foods your kids like and see what it suggests as meals. Outsource to Chat GPT.

Totally agree! It also seems like such a non-issue, if your life set up is such that you are normally cooking household meals, and you have an extra 7 year old and need to do some very basic level dietary requirements (not even full kosher) then I really don’t see why it’s hard at all - seems relatively easy to sit down and plan out 7 days worth of meals that suit and then repeat the plan each week.

If on the other hand OP is actually just unhappy with the general arrangement of her being responsible for meal times, then that’s reasonable of her and something to address with her DH.

But I don’t see how this diet issue makes much of a difference.

All crazy nonsense

This is why religions are ridiculous nonsense!! The child isn't even old enough to make an informed choice as to whether she wants to follow these rules - they have been unfairly imposed on her 😬

THIS!!

Exodus 23:19

I honestly didn't know that Jews cannot eat meat and dairy at the same time. Why?

she doesn’t get to get upset that others are having cheese, that’s ridiculous, now she’s effectively pushing her choice on the rest of the family. Just no.

I think your friend here may be batch cooking. Things that your DC and yourself will eat so then you're only cooking each meal time for DSD.

I remember your other thread OP about her weight, and it seems very unfair that her Dad isn't helping you here. I think it may be time to read him the riot act over it all, personally. She's only here for the summer and he needs to make the most of that time with her. That could involve cooking together.

Not convinced that buying a new cookbook and making unfamiliar recipes is really going to make things easier for the OP.

Can I suggest that you get a book by one of my favourite cooks, Claudia Rosen's The book of Jewish Food. Her writing style and content is brilliant, I first discovered her as an Egyptian cook whose books were sold in the 70s & 80s by the tills in Sainsburys... this book is a treasure and will probably satisfy everyone and make them more adventurous in their eating.

In Jewish law, a child of seven is not personally obliged to keep Kosher. It is the responsibility of her parents to guide her. You are doing your best and are not her parent, so this falls to her father. If he chooses to allow her not to be as observant in your household, that is up to him. It makes her no less Jewish.

Agreed. She's seven and we've had posters fat-shame, say the OP shouldn't feed her, only feed her beans on toast, or only cook food she can't eat. Not to mention denying her religion and calling it a fad. I hope none of these posters ever treat a child like this in real life.

Plenty of sensible suggestions for the OP to take on board. DP should step up, but otherwise I'd just figure out a few days worth of meals that work and rotate till you get to the end of her stay and then set rules with DP before she comes to stay again.

I dunno; if DEx isn’t fussed about the child’s food being prepared in a kosher kitchen, why does she care about other ‘slippages’ when said child is out of her jurisdiction, such as cheese eaten within x number of hours of consuming a steak (during the month of August but while wearing a head covering)?

What I mean is: either be strict and take your rules seriously, or ditch the whole shebang.
OR take the third way, and be reasonable, and allow the child to eat with her father’s new family without insisting that she be served a quite separate menu carefully scrutinised for dietary transgressions.
I’d think the girl’s mum’s unbothered attitude to the ‘impure’ kitchen is a hint that her heart isn’t really in this proscriptive business anyway.

A 7-year old child will hardly offend a benevolent deity if she abandons a religious dietary imposition in order not to cause bother to her fraught step-mother.
If her dad can’t be arsed to ensure she remains in every way a proper Jewish child with every bite, he might at least be willing to explain to her why she can indeed have a cheeseburger in this house, but not at her mum’s.
(Which is: so as not to cause extra work to her nice stepmother, who is not Jewish. The child should be able to grasp this at 7)

Quite! The level of intolerance for the religious dietary requirements of a seven year old who is spending the whole holidays away from her mother (“she should just eat toast”) sits in stark contrast to the expectations of flexibility to cater for kids who are just fussy. I should say, I don’t mean the OP, who is trying her best to cater for everyone, but many of the other posters here.