Couples holiday grief

I think this is right.

Assuming this is a parents and adult kids situation, and if not then Couple C are utterly fucking hatstand, the wider context might be a problem. Maybe Couple C contains the golden child or whatever. But in this specific instance, it's none of C's business.

This. Cheeky fuckers.

Given OPs not come back after the family question was raised I’m guessing they are the parents who favour one child over another and use the difference in earnings as their excuse for treating them differently.

Doubled? Nothing to do with them!!

I think couple C should mind their own business. I hope this isn't a sign of drama before the holiday has even begun!

Yeah this! Wtf has it got to do with C!

Yes this. No need to share with C that you are doing B a favour.

Its actually A and Cs costs.

If A is giving B a lift its between A and B if B is contributing.

Regardless of whether B pays or doesnt is irrelevant to C.

C should butt out

And if C is saying it should be that it should be As cost + Cs cost / ABC. Then C is a CF. C costs are their costs, they arent going out their way it isnt a winfall.

A picking up B adds to their journey and then theres extra weight in the car and without A, B might not be able to get their either for financial or practicality reasons so it would be reasonable for B to offer towards As costs but not Cs. And if A can afford and choose to decline thats kind and none of Cs business.

It all comes down to whether or not this is a pattern. Maybe A have some health issues and C think B are unreasonable for not driving for example. Maybe C just thinks B takes advantage of their parents

without OP coming back and explaining it’s going to be difficult to tell!

Exactly this. How anyone can think giving your child a lift somewhere when you’re heading in the same direction would mean that you favour them because you aren’t giving your other child money towards fuel is ridiculous.

Couple B's "fair share" would be half of Couple A's costs, not a third of the whole lot: would Couple C expect Couple A to pay towards their costs if it were just the two couples going?

Assuming no one is related then it has nothing to do with couple c. If they are related then yes it is unfair that A are subsidising one child over the other.

I can't imagine not contributing if I was couple B, even if it isnt towards fuel costs id at least pivk up some snacks for rhe journey or pay for coffes etc. How much they earn should have nothing to do with it. You shouldn't expect other people to subsidise you because you earn less, either you can afford to go or you can't. A are setting a bit of a precedent here and if B has form for allowing A to cover their expenses then I would be annoyed. It very much does change the dynamic of the group.

Changing my reply in case it is parents and children! I would think differently then but only because my mum and sibling leave me out of everything and I get stuck paying more to travel to where they both are, or they drive together somewhere saving money and cost falls to me etc. so if I were C in this situation and you were my mum subsidising my sibling AGAIN I’d be annoyed 😂

Absolutely bonkers, that C is involving themselves.

You're right, I wouldn't either. But in a family where these things matter (if it is family, we still don't know), then that should really be recognised easily and addressed so as to avoid issues..

Still no? If my parents were giving my sibling a lift somewhere I wouldn’t expect my journey to be subsidised? Would people expect that even in a family?

By either couple I meant A or B.

Love a Couple ABC dilemma. Do we need diagrams?

No way - it's not family surely. I never thought for a moment it was a family dilemma until I saw others did!

• Not family - couple C shut up. But the holiday will be awks now anyway.
• Family - wth sorry no it's not fair. Like wills. In family everything is equal. If family Couple c are right to be aggrieved.

If Couple A are doing the driving and have offered to give Couple B a lift, what on earth is it to do with Couple C ?

Unless Couple B are known to be freeloaders, and it’s a pre-emptive strike to ensure they pay their way over the holiday as a whole?

How do you mean? Couple C came complaining to couple A, so they most definitely said something.

I didn't think anything had been said by either couple.

OMG exactly!

Because the other couple have said not to worry about it? Couple C need to wind their necks in, even if they are family.

If as we suspect, you are the parents and are couple A and couples B & C are your children, then I think you need to be careful here, as I can quite see both points of view and although neither side is 'wrong' really, it does smack of favouritism to child B and I think I would be upset if I were Child C, that I am expected to contribute 50% 0f the joint car and travel expenses because child B doesn't earn as much?
Would you really be upset? You have arranged a joint holiday with your parents, sibling and their partner. Apart from getting there, all the costs of the holiday will be shared equally between the couples. You all have normal sized cars (presumably) that would seat 5 maximum, so can't all travel together. You are planning to drive so will pay for your fuel. If your sibling had made their own way there, they would have paid for their own fuel too, but as it happens, they were offered a lift by your parents who live close by, so they have no fuel cost. Where does the 'joint transport cost' come from, or the favouritism? It's just sensible for one of the couples to offer another a lift, and up to them whether they ask for a contribution. It's a bit sad for adults to feel so competitive and envious of their siblings.