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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not thank our cleaner?

33 replies

NorthEastNancy · 16/08/2026 11:35

Our cleaner comes once a fortnight. She's OK - not amazing but saves the rows in our house about cleaning so worth it!

She posts on social media a lot - I've no objections to this at all, but I've noticed that her other clients seem to thank her via socials every time she does their house. They like all the photos, share them and say how grateful they are etc. I've never done this!

I found her via a friend, our mutual friend dropped my keys off and I pay her online. I've never met her - think my husband might have crossed paths once or twice if he's popped home when she's been here.

I like the anonymous relationship - I'm busy and think of the whole thing as just transactional. I was chatting about this with a friend who thinks i should thank her every time!

OP posts:
NorthEastNancy · 16/08/2026 11:59

I don't thank her in person either 🙈 I've literally never met her. I send a double wage and thank her at Christmas but that's it - i think I've maybe been a bit lax!

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 16/08/2026 11:56

Your “thank you” to her is paying her, nothing else is needed.

Morepositivemum · 16/08/2026 11:55

That’s her way to be seen so she can get more clients. You don’t have to as long as you say thank you in person!!

Lucyccfc68 · 16/08/2026 11:54

I have a cleaner and I say thank you as she leaves. If I don’t see her when she leaves, I send her a text to say thank you and confirm I have sent her payment.

I specifically asked her not to put any photos of my house on social media. This means I don’t have to publicly thank her and no one else knows I have a cleaner.

AnitaCam · 16/08/2026 11:54

The thanking posts are probably fake.

Softcream · 16/08/2026 11:53

I thank my cleaner if I see her in person, I don't post on her social media though.

Grandmistress991 · 16/08/2026 11:51

If it is on socials it might be because she is advertising her business to get or maintain clients. Alternatively she may have a different ( closer, friendlier) relationship with them for whatever reason then its reasonable that you wouldnt do that if you only got her through a friend if a friend.

Also, some people, as sad as this sounds, might use it as a kind of boast that they've got a cleaner and want to put it on social media for all to see about how fancy and wonderful they must be to have a cleaner. 😆

Im assuming you thank her in person, which is good manners. If anyone provides you with a service, paid or not, its just nice to say thank you.

StressedOutPeanut · 16/08/2026 11:40

You pay her you don't need to thank her constantly. The other clients are weird.