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AIBU?

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AIBU to stop keeping the children quiet after his late nights?

105 replies

HelloAllHere · 16/08/2026 08:06

Two issues really but I think the first one I am probably being unreasonable about. I have two young kids full time. My partner has 2 older kids 50%. And we have a baby together. On the weekends we don’t have his older kids, he will sometimes have his mates over and they’ll go out drinking. Usually not coming back till 4-5am in the morning. That annoys me but I don’t really know why. I think it’s just us being different people. I did that when I was young/in my 20s. Now at 39 a night out for me would be like 2am max (but I don’t go out drinking) Plus I don’t understand where he ends up at till that time. He’ll say he went to such and such (which closes at 1am) yet still takes him 3-4 hours to come home so that clearly isn’t where he ended up. He will also always say he’s just going out for 1/2 drinks as well which annoys me as I know that’s not true. So I don’t get why don’t just say it will be a late one. As I then don’t hear from him till he’s home when sometimes he’s specifically said he will be going to somewhere that say closes at 11pm. It used to worry me but now I know to just not expect him until I’m nearly waking up! But I do think it’s rude to not even check in or is that just me?
My kids wake up around 6am so usually I will try and keep them a bit quieter in the morning, more so for his mate/brother or whoever. Or take them out till lunchtime. But I’m getting a bit sick of it now and feel I shouldn’t have to do that. Although he does only go out once a month. He doesn’t ask me to keep them quiet to be fair, but I also don’t think they’d be too happy if I just let the kids burst in on them or wake them up. They usually crash downstairs when they get in which is obviously where my kids all are in the morning (theres a downstairs bedroom) So AIBU to just let my kids carry on as if they weren’t here and potentially wake them up when they’ve only had an hours sleep?

OP posts:
HelloAllHere · 16/08/2026 08:13

So he doesn’t usually leave the house until 9/10pm. Although I suppose he’s still been up all day. I wouldn’t have the energy myself! But I really don’t think he does drugs. Cannabis when younger but nothing now.
And no to be fair, it’s always me getting up with baby and my kids. I do breastfeed though

OP posts:
Sartre · 16/08/2026 08:13

Why is he acting like a 21 year old at 39? He needs to get a grip of himself. He shouldn’t be going out every other weekend getting smashed till 5am and worse, inviting his mates back to crash at his where his baby and stepchildren live.

FurForksSake · 16/08/2026 08:12

fuck that shit.

speak to him, tell him his behaviour is absolutely unacceptable and he is welcome to go out but need to be home when he says and that family life will be continuing as normal and he can only bring people back occasionally.

Getting wasted this frequently must also be making a big hole in the family budget?

Softcream · 16/08/2026 08:10

Does he get up with your joint child 50% of the time?

RampantIvy · 16/08/2026 08:08

You had a baby with this prince?

If he is out most weekends until dawn I suspect other substances are being used.

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