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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to hesitate over helping my nine-year-old remove her leg hair?

104 replies

AnxiousPixie · 16/08/2026 06:53

Hoping to lean into the collective hive mind please!

My daughter has very dark hair, it is very visible on her arms and legs. Aged 9. Not so much that I think there is any medical issues, but enough for others to notice.

I don't want her to feel like she has to modify her body in any way to fit in. I've always had light hair so it's not something I've ever had to deal with. Although I do shave my legs and she knows that.

Others, at school, have started to point it out to her. Not massive bullying but 'urgh, look how hairy your legs are!' kind of comments.

She finds it hard enough to make friends as it is. She doesn't like to wear tights or trousers.

She has already asked me to help her shave it off as she doesn't like the comments at school. She's even asked a TA about it who apparently said 'your mum should really help you do something about that.' (I have spoken to school but am also taking it with a pinch of salt as she may well be exaggerating to try and convince me!) I've moved all the razors out of reach so she can't hurt herself.

So, here's my dilemma....

YANBU - I should support my daughter to be herself, not start modifying her appearance at such a young age and support her to stand up to the criticism.

YANBU - school is hard enough for kids, if she is asking for help to get rid of the hair, help her.

I have asked a number of friends and got both sides so I thought I'd ask the hive mind!

OP posts:
mogtheexcellent · 16/08/2026 07:10

Confusing voting with both options the same

I swore I would help my daughter with whatever she chose as I was bullied as a ten year old for leg hair. I ended up using my mums razor and cutting myself badly. Its tough at that age and it's getting earlier each generation.

Just let her remove it.

AzureLurker · 16/08/2026 07:10

Tricky, a bit of both i think. I wasn't much older when I started borrowing my dad's razor and later bought the most amazing fold up travel one from the body shop in the mid 90's. I did not have dark hair at all but my peers were all talking about how leg hair glowed in the sun and they didn't like that. This must have been around 10. Now as an adult I only really bother when they will be out on display! You may also find the same kids that are commenting now will also point out and make it a thing that she is now shaving them, so that might not be the end of dealing with others' opinions! Have a long talk about the hasle and it likely showing up as darker once you start too. It won't be long before they are all at it!

bananaobama · 16/08/2026 07:09

i would not want to encourage shaving at this young age age

at least wax or find a solution that lasts more than a couple of days

ChopstickNovice · 16/08/2026 07:09

I was your in daughter's situation and I was bullied mercilessly about this. Called a man. Called a freak.
My mum felt I shouldn't need to fit in and wouldn't let me/help me shave til I was 12.
School didn't do anything about the bullies.
Once I did it, the other kids (90% girls btw, the boys didn't seem to care either way at my school anyway) stopped with the awful bullying.
It was probably also a bit different for me as I am mixed race so got bullied for that also.
But I am for it! Life's hard enough anyway and one less thing for others to be nasty about gets my vote. Should we have to conform? No. But that's the world we live in.