DH hates young children in our house

Does he have OCD? Or something else diagnosed, both you and him know this isn't normal.

Jesus, you need better friends.

I’ve never experienced anything close to this with any of the children that have been in my house over the years. Their parents are more than capable of controlling them and teaching them how to behave.

I would say that you don’t like adult children in the house and get him to fuck.

To be frank I don't blame him. I have children myself and we have raised them to be respectful they wouldn't climb over peoples chairs or pick things up etc. but not all children are raised that way some are given free reign at home so do the same elsewhere.

I was of the mind any child was welcome to come to our house until things of value to us became broken and a child managed to rub slime into our carpet. After that the choices were have them inside with their families and spend the whole time watching their every lmlve and not enjoying my friends or ban kids.

I banned kids fairest way and problem solved.

Indeed! I'm reading this open mouthed!
Say what?!

Christ you need to raise your bar for friends. You seriously have friends/family that let their children pee and “poop” everywhere (assuming not wearing a nappy)?

How unnerving for you to work and plan around your husbands likes and dislikes.
Of course it’s your home as well, as soon as you begin to think otherwise, he has total and absolute control.
Tell him your plans and suggest he pushes off to give you space and time, perhaps do more than suggest, as suspect if he’s there you won’t enjoy your visitors.

Can you decide to have two rooms of the house each? His rooms have doors that can be shut and where he can congregate his precious items. Your rooms are child friendly.
Or can you negotiate one week of every month where you can have young guests?

It is fair that you have guests but equally fair that DH has warning to put his treasures away.

I am on his team. I don't like little kids in my house either. Young kids are loud, messy, tear up stuff, spill stuff, scream, poop, pee everywhere, throw fits and their parents let them run wild and act like they don't see their kid destroying things in other people's homes. Then if you tell the kid to sit down and stop acting the fool the parents want to catch an attitude. "I let Susie and Johnny do that at home!" Good then take them back there because HERE kids sit down and shut up and do what they are told.

ANd if their kid breaks or damages something valuable, the parents act like you should just take it on the chin and not be responsible. Ha! No, you are paying me the $200 it costs to replace that item. If you don't want to pay up, then keep your untrained heathens at home!

Even if it is your home too, you still have to respect the very real fact that young kids are not for everyone. No one is telling you that you can't see them - just go to the park or to a restaurant or go visit them at THEIR house in their natural wild child habitat.

Ah ok, thought my tired brain had missed a reply - long day!

What a misery guts. Ignore him OP and have a lovely time with your friends and family next week.

Mine isn’t either but it’s my house too so when I know people are coming over I make sure he makes himself disappear. I don’t need that negativity.

He is not a great dad.

You should have divorced him years ago.

How many years did he avoid his own children and what kind of relationship does he have with them now? (Sorry, but he sounds awful.)

Anyway, for your current conundrum, he's being unreasonable. He's the one who changed plans, so he can either deal with the children in the house or make plans to be away during their visit. (I'd prefer he make himself scarce, because he doesn't sound like much fun to be around.)

Tell him to go out

He avoided the home for several years when his own children were little? Do you mean he moved out? Or do you mean he was out of the house for c.18 hours a day for years, leaving you to do everything? Either way, why did he have children, and why did you put up with this?

I assumed from your OP that your children were very young and you could possibly train/educate him out of this mindset so I’m surprised to hear they’re older.

I realised my mistake, said as much and asked for my comment to be removed 🫣.

He avoided his own children when they were toddlers?!

Why isn't he under the patio?

There's a whole other story her about his behaviour and issues.

It's not about a dislike of young children.

This.

He's being controlling.

You made arrangements to respect how he feels but he changed his plans. That's his problem not yours.

He needs to get over himself.

Slightly missing the point here but did you just assume they had children or have I missed something? I assumed they must be childfree until OP confirmed.

OP he’s being unreasonable and should make himself scarce if he can’t be around your family. But I couldn’t live like this walking on eggshells and being restricted on visitors. Would possible future grandchildren be allowed to visit? Your DH sounds extreme I actually think he should speak to someone about this.

I am confused how this person is a great husband and great Dad when they left all the child-rearing to you..? Or did they start being a parent once they hit a certain age? (Which age)?

Wow! What a prince.

His plans changed - therefore he can go out for the day. It's unreasonable of him to expect you to change your plans just because his plans have changed.

He sounds very difficult 😕

Ignore my post, I didn't realise your children were already grown 🫣 I'll try and remove my post.