Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my toddler in an enclosed outside space while I ordered at a cafe?

66 replies

Russetboots · 15/08/2026 23:23

Would you leave your toddler sitting outside in a cafe garden whilst you ordered food inside?

I did this today. I could see my toddler the whole time, he was smiling and waving, as I ordered food. I took about 2 minutes before I returned to him, but the lady at the next table looked shocked that I had left him there.

I would not have left him if a) it wasn't an enclosed garden space where he couldn't leave, b) I couldn't see him the whole time c) he was unhappy.

Just wondering from the lady's reaction if my judgement is off.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 16/08/2026 17:23

At that age, enclosed, able to be seen at all times, yes I could have left both my girls and expected them to stay there for 2 minutes until I got back.

MasterBeth · 16/08/2026 17:22

youngwhippersnapper · 16/08/2026 17:18

Could someone have had access to take him? It only takes a second.

She's already said it was an enclosed space and she could see the child all the time.

Bitzee · 16/08/2026 17:21

Yes I’d leave a 3YO sat on a normal chair presuming they were happy and never out of my sight. I wouldn’t have left them in a high chair in case they decided they wanted you and toppled it trying to get out and I certainly wouldn’t have ever let them out of my sight.
(Also I’d personally call a 3YO a preschooler, toddler makes me think 1-2YO which is obviously a whole different thing)

Cookiesunderthesofa · 16/08/2026 17:20

It worked fine for you . You could see them throughout.

don’t waste headspace on a random stranger being disapproving.

roshi42 · 16/08/2026 17:19

From your title I would have said I wouldn’t do it myself, but the fact that you could see him throughout makes it fine. Mine wouldn’t stay though!! She always has to be with me at all times!

youngwhippersnapper · 16/08/2026 17:18

Could someone have had access to take him? It only takes a second.

Simonjt · 16/08/2026 17:17

Our son yes, he wouldn’t have moved, our daughter absolutely no way, she’d be halfway around the world by the time I’d ordered.

Original poster
Russetboots · 16/08/2026 17:13

Toddler is three year old (preschooler?). Just turned three 2 months ago.

She stared at me and gave a little shake of her head type thing, as if in surprise (disapproval). I do feel a bit lax about these things as I often give him little jobs to do like go collect napkins alone from the other side of the room in a busy cafe etc.

He often walks far ahead of me but has never ran off and stops when I say so.

OP posts:
Babyghirl · 15/08/2026 23:49

CaffeinatedMum · 15/08/2026 23:29

Depends on age. 3 yes, 15 months no. I’d count both as a toddler.

3 is no longer a toddler

Shaynac · 15/08/2026 23:30

What’s the toddler’s actual age?

Also, how did she look shocked?

maudelovesharold · 15/08/2026 23:29

By toddler do you mean under 3? If so, no, I probably wouldn’t, but I can’t really explain why!

CaffeinatedMum · 15/08/2026 23:29

Depends on age. 3 yes, 15 months no. I’d count both as a toddler.

sweetchill · 15/08/2026 23:27

It sounds fine to me.

hahabahbag · 15/08/2026 23:26

Not alone, no

concertinacornflake · 15/08/2026 23:26

I probably wouldn't have left mine. Just in case they bumped or got upset, it would have felt easier to take him in whilst ordering.

raysofhope · 15/08/2026 23:24

Given your conditions above I think it’s fine.

Swipe left for the next trending thread