Family feud and inheritance

Pot and kettle? You just called the OP greedy? There's always one child in a family left to help the parents out and the rest are never seen until the parents die. Always. With your attitude I'd say your were never that person who helps out.......

Well there's your answer then. Imagine saying that to your dad when he was sick in hospital! Fuck him just for that tbh

You dont automatically pay iht on any gifts with the 7 year rule. The gifts are just supposed to be included as part of the estate for probate. A married couple can leave up to £1m before any iht is due.

All the backstory is completely irrelevant. I’m very unclear as to why your DF, on his deathbed, changed his Will and left nothing to his wife!!!
You have failed to clarify if the money your parents gave you before they died was given as a loan or as a gift. If it was a loan, then it should have been included as a debt against your DFs estate when he died, and as such any other inheritors should receive their share.
If it was a gift then technically it’s your money. Personally I wouldn’t be able to keep it all from a moral point of view. How you feel about your SIL is completely irrelevant :

@Soontobe60 I’m very unclear as to why your DF, on his deathbed, changed his Will and left nothing to his wife!!!

Quite understandable if she was already suffering from dementia or in a care home

@Soontobe60- my dad changed his will a while ago to leave everything to me and my brother, cutting out my mother, but then she was already in a care home with dementia. Her share of the house, her savings and shares and pensions etc were fair enough to go to the care fees but he wanted his share of their assets to come to us. (As it turned out, this wasn’t necessary as she suddenly took a turn for the worse and died before her personal savings ran out, he’s going strong.)

"...and left nothing to his wife!!!"

What wife?

The OP mentioned that her mother died shortly after her father. She has not indicated that they were married.

If, for example, they were divorced then it would be very normal indeed for her father to leave nothing to his ex-wife.

You will note that the OP said that it was her father that gave her the money - not her parents.

At the time the Will was written, the £90K was not part of the estate, it had already been gifted. The Will was written prior to his death and after the gift, stating 50/50. The son disputed it prior to his Fathers death and the Father stood firm if we are to believe what was written by the OP, so in my head its clear what was intended, whether its fair or not, I am not in a position to judge but it seems that is what the Father intended.

And neither is AI, she is asking for an opinion, mine differs from yours and the truth is that she needs to speak with the solicitor and decide how important her relationship with her brother is to her as this could be a relationship breaker. Obviously there have been issues but she hasn't said if the relationship issues were between Father and Son too. I suspect there will be some tax implications but I do not know.

If the brother doesn't like the decision, its then up to him to dispute the Will.

@MellowPinkBee Did you brother continue his relationship with your Mum and Dad when you were not speaking. Di your brother get any money over the years from your parents?

This!!

I think it’s reasonable to go along with your Fathers wishes given he made the will well after giving you the money. And he still wanted it that way after brother complained whilst he was dying. Very sorry for your loss 🌺 Stuff like this makes dealing with grief even harder. People seem to think they can treat people awfully,or go NC but are entitled to “their share”.

Well there you go !

My parents ( both still alive thankfully) gave my sibling a large amount of money towards a house purchase , but I was told this & it was a gentleman’s agreement that I would get the same & if didn’t happen before my parents died then my sibling should ‘ make it right ‘ .
I have since had the same amount given to me but I have a great relationship with my sibling and I have no doubt that they would’ve paid up if it came to it .
Its entirely your call tbh but if you think that your dad would have wanted you to ‘ square up ‘ with your brother then that’s what I would do .
How does brother know about your gifted money? Did dad tell him?

If it was a gift- no. You don’t get on, and have no need to talk again after this.
But I’m not sure how the tax man would feel about such a large gift so close to your father’s passing. I think it would be included in the estate and so yes, half would be to your brother.

I can see why your DB is upset as you have been treated more favourably han him financially.
Although they clearly had a strained relationship at the end of your parents life presumably tbey had a loving relationship for most of it , he ws still their son and there will be unresioved feelings.
If it was a gift then you dont have to share it or give it back to the estate,if it was a loan then you do. If Inhertance tax is due on it because of the 7 year rule you should pay the additional tax from your share if the estate.

Tax man? How sexist of you.

Why would HMRC be especially interested in a gift a year before the death of the donor, assuming the executor has done their job properly?

No, inheritance tax on gifts should be paid prior to disbursement of the estate, from the estate, by the executor, not by the recipient of the gift.

This thread has displayed how little so many mumsnet people know about inheritance tax - from those who seem to think that there is IHT on everything that's left, not understanding that there are tax free allowances to the ones who think that IHT is paid on gifts by the recipient of that gift.

It does not surprise me one bit.

It also does not surprise me that it doesn't seem to be realised that most estates aren't large enough to pay IHT. Not everyone lives in million pound houses with squillions of £ of savings.

I'd give him the money. Definitely the right thing to do.

Well, you don't know for sure that your dad hasn't also given your brother money in the past, however that's neither here nor there in this scenario. It's also no one else's business what your dad chooses to do with his assets either in life or afterwards. I agree that if it was your dad's intention to adjust the will he could have. But he didn't. I think the solicitors have to act on the will as it stands. Sounds like your relationship with your brother isn't going to deteriorate because by his own choice it already doesn't exist. Maybe he's now seeing the consequences of cutting out his sister? Maybe that made dad feel more inclined to support you as in divorce dad was all you had in your corner? The outcome of dad's intervention was that both of his offspring had a home.

My late stepmother's family had taken £50k off her over a couple of years before she died. I was executor and asked the solicitor whether I could deduct it from their share of the inheritance and she said no. It was given as gifts and you don't account for it in the amounts given to beneficiaries. You do have to put it on the forms for probate as in some cases their might be inheritance tax to pay. Thankfully not in our case as it would have been galling to have to pay tax on money they'd weedled out of her. You are not obliged to give your brother a share of the money and I personally wouldn't given the relationship is already poor with your brother. Usually I'd be scrupulously fair but it sounds like he was lucky not to be completely disinherited by your parents given the relationship.

It’s a well known name for HMRC.

It’s called a “ Potentially Exempt Transfer”.
Any gift given within seven years prior to the death of the person giving the gift may be subject to inheritance tax.

"I think it would be included in the estate and so yes, half would be to your brother." [emphasis added]

You appear to have a misunderstanding of how this works.

If IHT is payable on the estate then HMRC will count the gift as being part of the estate for IHT purposes.

This is to stop people giving away large parts of their estate shortly before their death in order to avoid paying IHT.

However, that does not mean a gift is counted as part of the estate when the executors distribute the estate according to the will.

In fact, quite the opposite. Any gifts made before death cannot be part of the estate of the deceased as they gave away the gift before they died. It is only assets that the deceased owned at the time of death that form part of the estate.

Most people don't call HMRC the "tax man" these days, not in case you're really old, and even so, maybe you should update your sexist language

It the £89k was a loan, you still owe the debt to the estate so your brother is entitled to £44.5k. If its was a gift, you don’t owe anything but you will need to pay inheritance tax on the £89k if the estate is over the IHT limit.

I realise that you can cut contact with a family member for any reason or none, but an argument about cookies for Santa way back in the last century is the daftest reason I've ever heard.

Recipients of gifts don't pay IHT on the gift if the estate is over the IHT limit - the estate does