Made a promise I can’t deliver on

I've never come across a school which doesn't, tbh.

The school sounds unreasonable. Most schools allow one small pair of earrings these days

But its not like it's a necessity like a braces or a leg brace. It's a vanity choice.

Why on earth are you sending her there?

Count your blessings you don’t have a real problem

Condescending.

Get them done at the start of the next summer. Explain this to your kid. Count your blessings you don’t have a real problem.

They don’t have to be cheap.

Do you have an APP piercer near you https://safepiercing.org They are all very well qualified and experienced piercers who have undergone extensive training. I would contact one and have a chat.

This won't be a new scenario to them and they can talk you through the various options. They may have some clear retainers that are hypo allergenic that you could use during the day after 6 weeks or have another solution for the problem.

Not always a great idea in really fresh piercings. They can cause irritation in some people and can cause infection.

I had to use them for a regular activity and my piercing was always sore and weepy afterwards even though it was well healed.

Can’t you get some clear “invisible” earrings to wear during school?

Please don't fall for the studex marketing. The healing process takes as long as it takes and no spray can speed that up.

My gunned lobe piercings took significantly longer to heal than the needle piercing as they do so much more damage to the ear tissue.

I had a third set put in 3 weeks ago by an APP piecer and the advice was to leave the jewellery in for 8 weeks. In reality I was pain free the next day and my ears appear healed. I know they are not though and will be waiting at least another 3 weeks before I change them and then I won't be leaving them empty. Fresh piercings can close over very fast and forcing jewellery back in causes damage and further delays the healing process.

So what you saying?

4 - 6 weeks is all it takes. They're healed after 4 but I've always left an earring in for 6 to make sure they're perfectly healed. I can leave my holes without earrings for years on end but the hole is always still there.

I wouldn't let my daughter get her ears pierced. She did get them done, herself, when she was 25! I have never had my ears pierced.

They will close up if you take them out. DD’s closed from overnight and we had a struggle to get them in and that was almost a year later!

I apologise if you've answered this already, but your daughter hasn't even started at the school and already you're finding it a negative experience.
Is there nowhere else? When you read all their information, did it not put you off applying?
Not a criticism, a genuine question.

Agree completely,
i remember my Parents was at first quite cross when as a teenager I’d been and had my ears pierced, mum wore those clip on, which either hurt her ears or fell off, little while later she said ‘make me an appointment but will you come with me’ it was a jewellers we went to, and was a lovely mum and daughter day, we never had many as my parents run a small business, but that day was so special and helping mum look after them was lovely together time, and fun later choosing our new earrings together…so piercings get my thumbs up 👍

Very true. Better still, find a secondary school which aligns more with your beliefs and expectations.

For those advising to ‘just get them done’ and ways to hide it (invisible studs, hair down etc) what lesson arw you teaching here?

you are teaching your child that a rule which applied to the majority of her school community doesn’t have to apply to her. That rather than follow the rule, you will help her get around it. This approach, while keeping the kid happy (and yourself, because you will look good to the kid!) usually backfires in future. Kids get the message that rules don’t have to apply to them, that they can be bent and ‘got around’. Best case scenario, this sets them up for agro in school, because after the earrings it becomes homework, or shoes, or mobile phone use. Worst case scenario - we have all seen examples of older teenagers who think rules don’t apply to them, that they can behave any way they like!

im not saying you have to accept without question any rule made by authority - but campaign for change and ask respectful questions whilst sticking to the rules is usually more effective, and teaches children how to advocate for themselves in the right way in the future.

don’t teach your children that rules don’t have to apply to them!

I think you need to explain the new circumstances to your DD. It's unfortunate but you aren't to blame for it, these are the school rules and if you follow through with the promise she'll have to face the consequences of detention. I'd say it all to her and let her decide whether she still wants her ears pierced or if there is something else she'd like to get instead.

Body/face/ear piercings have been done for at least 11,000 years.
I had my ears pierced at age 6, or 7. I was in grade 1. I barely remember it - I remember the shopping mall and the shop.
I had my double piercing done at 13, or 14 when I was in grade 8. I was supposed to buy a new top at the mall and I had my ears pierced instead.
I had the third ear piercing done around age 17, then a 4th on one side only.
I had a helix piercing (upper outer ear) done around age 22, that one was painful for a year, so I finally removed it and didn't try it again or get any other piercings after that.
I've now only got a double piercing on each side having decided to ket the others grow over. I rarely wear earrings, so even my current piercing have begun to close and I recently dug out a pair of lovely gold sleepers that I've worn for a couple of months.

It is unfathomable to me that a basic single ear piercing would be looked down upon by people and forbidden by schools in 2026.
Some people, and cultures, pierce girls' ears when they are babies.
My neighbour had her daughter's ears pierced around age 2, if not earlier. That aside, I think a teen girl (or boy) can make that choice for herself, but the schools should butt out and stick to teaching.