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Original poster

AIBU to feel annoyed after a mum's sarcastic supermarket comment?

231 replies

Msidontknow · 15/08/2026 17:23

In a local supermarket getting some bits - it's quiet and I'm taking my time. I come around to turn into the other isle and a young toddler age 2-3 is waiting/hanging around making it difficult for me to move. I wait for him to see me to move - I don't say anything or do anything as I'm not in a rush and he was just being a child - the mum sees me waiting, calls him over and says loudly 'he's not a mind reader'. I was taken back and lost my chance to respond which would've sounded something like ' I'm sorry for not rushing your son and waiting patiently for him to see me'.

The thought did cross my mind would she have said this if I was a different ethnicity?

Maybe it's the heat or the rudeness but I'm annoyed at the sarky comment towards me for just trying to be nice.

OP posts:
JillyComeLately · 17/08/2026 01:09

QueenietheGreat · 16/08/2026 21:29

@Msidontknow
Yes you've been very lucky indeed
Most people see a brown person and assume we don't even know basic English so if its possible feel they've the right to clap at you and subconciously put you in your place through a sarky comment or curdled look on their face
Yes,you be right on top of the pile there @Msidontknow without realising it
When it comes to that sort of "luck"

What an extremely odd post.🤔

OneJollySloth · 17/08/2026 00:05

The mum was rude and I'm sorry you had that experience, I would be raging too and kicking myself I didn't say something back. It's so sad that you have to question whether she would have treated you with more respect if you were a different ethnicity, I really feel for you having to navigate daily interactions with that in the back of your head, Lots of love

EvieBB · 16/08/2026 22:52

ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove · 16/08/2026 18:24

OP suggested that the mum's response was racially motivated.

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Ah...ok....thanks

QueenietheGreat · 16/08/2026 21:29

@Msidontknow
Yes you've been very lucky indeed
Most people see a brown person and assume we don't even know basic English so if its possible feel they've the right to clap at you and subconciously put you in your place through a sarky comment or curdled look on their face
Yes,you be right on top of the pile there @Msidontknow without realising it
When it comes to that sort of "luck"

Slugfest · 16/08/2026 20:32

I dont see how this could have anything to do with ethnicity.

BigButtons · 16/08/2026 20:25

TamzinGrey · 15/08/2026 17:56

It's got nothing at all to do with your ethnicity. It's to do with entitled stroppy mothers.

Once when I was almost knocked over by two children riding scooters in a supermarket I sidled up to my sister at the bread counter and quietly said "let's hurry up and get out of here because there are kids on scooters". A woman who happened to be standing right next to us really let rip, announcing that she was their mother, and her children were perfectly entitled to scoot around in the supermarket if they wanted to.

It was a few years ago but I've never forgotten the aggression on her face. It was actually quite scary.

Everyone in that experience was white British.

I had something similar- kids running round the crowded supermarket playing, knocking into people. I probably tutted it something and a woman next to me said I was mean, the kids were bored. I told her it wasn’t a playground. Their mother was completely ignoring their antics.

Coincidinki · 16/08/2026 19:37

It's bizarre - how did she even know you were waiting for her DC to move? You might have been standing there waiting for a shopping companion to come back with the yoghurts you forgot to pick up in aisle 1, or trying to remember if you needed to get more milk or not, or considering whether it was worth getting the three-for-two on something or whether you'd end up throwing one of them away.

Marroon · 16/08/2026 19:25

I'm sorry for not rushing your son and waiting patiently for him to see me'.

To me this comes across quite passive aggressive.

tomatoplants · 16/08/2026 19:22

Do you think she meant, you could have said “excuse me”

CrystalMighty · 16/08/2026 18:54

Katypp · 15/08/2026 17:38

I think people can be oblivious to the issues their children cause and are embarrassed when they realise.
I had a situation recently when a grandma thought a M&S self-serve click&collect machine was an excellent place to teach her grandaughter the alphabet and numbers.
Being charitable, it may have been empty when she started but by the time she finished (Sat afternoon) quite a queue had built up and i had been pushed forward by people trying not to block the aisle.
They finished, turned round and she harrumphed 'I don't think you need to stand THAT close!' to me, then continued to stage whisper to the toddler about rude people. I ignored her.
I've also been at the receiving end of a 'gentle' mum telling her toddler their family wasn't rude like us for a 30 minute walk back to the car park after my autistic daughter waited for 10 mins for her child to move from making daisy chains at the top of the slide. We had to suffer a long monotone of how people should be patient and not bully others all the way back. I ignored her too.

You have the patience of a saint!

NovemberMorn · 16/08/2026 18:46

Booboobagins · 16/08/2026 18:35

Some people just react. Leave the poor behaviour with her. Most of us would have called him over and apologised...

I agree, that would have been the normal civilised thing to do.
Unfortunately some people are just not very nice, and snapping at complete strangers in the supermarket, when they have done nothing wrong, is just not a nice way to act.

Booboobagins · 16/08/2026 18:35

Some people just react. Leave the poor behaviour with her. Most of us would have called him over and apologised...

ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove · 16/08/2026 18:24

EvieBB · 16/08/2026 07:51

She could've just smiled and taken her child out of the way.....not made a sarcy comment!.it's not like OP was complaining

Show quote history

OP suggested that the mum's response was racially motivated.

NovemberMorn · 16/08/2026 12:29

thatsgotit · 16/08/2026 12:00

That can be quite a satisfying thing to do, tbf. 😆Does grind my gears when people suggest women should play the appeasers at all times, though.

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I agree, but there are so many rude entitled people around now, I think it's wise to pick your battles.
In this case I would have simply ignored the woman, in other cases I wouldn't. I think it depends on the situation, the tone in which someone speaks to you, and whether you are in a peaceful state of mind yourself.

NovemberMorn · 16/08/2026 12:25

Anyahyacinth · 15/08/2026 19:53

Brown and black you say...are they aware you use these categories to describe them?

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I was answering directly the quote...
"I am of Mediterranean ethnicity and yes there absolutely is. I get the odd remark but nothing like the constant drip, drip, brown or black friends do."
Maybe you have selective reading skills?

In any case what, in your opinion wuld be wrong in referring to peoples colour as black or brown? Do you alo have a problem with refering to someones colour as 'white'?

thatsgotit · 16/08/2026 12:00

Herenowatbroad · 15/08/2026 21:29

If I have ever seen that advice, it’s not been to smile at them insofar as pander them but rather smile patronisingly and ignore because they aren’t worth spending any energy on them

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That can be quite a satisfying thing to do, tbf. 😆Does grind my gears when people suggest women should play the appeasers at all times, though.

Myli1 · 16/08/2026 09:18

Herenowatbroad · 15/08/2026 17:40

So are you suggesting she was a racist?

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Quite possibly. Sadly we are seeing racism rear its ugly head more and more in recent times as people become emboldened by Populist politics on the far-right.

Onelifeonly · 16/08/2026 08:31

Msidontknow · 15/08/2026 17:50

I've lived many years seeing the way I do the world and I don't often wonder if unpleasant experiences are to do with my ethnicity - however today I did wonder. Not sure what made me think of that. But we are where we are.

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More likely she felt stressed and embarrassed for her own reasons and snapped at you for simply standing there waiting for her child to move. I'm not saying she shouldn't have been polite, of course she should, but she probably felt you were judging her parenting. I doubt I'd even notice the ethnicity of someone else if I was feel strung out in a supermarket with a toddler. That's solely on you.

ThreadGuardDog · 16/08/2026 08:20

Herenowatbroad · 15/08/2026 21:29

If I have ever seen that advice, it’s not been to smile at them insofar as pander them but rather smile patronisingly and ignore because they aren’t worth spending any energy on them

Show quote history

That wasn’t the advice here though.

ThreadGuardDog · 16/08/2026 08:14

Milothebunny · 16/08/2026 01:52

How can I be a victim today syndrome!!
Get a life!!

How about you check your privilege !!

Sartre · 16/08/2026 07:53

She was rude but people are strange, she was probably feeling super stressed so snapped at you which obviously wasn’t the ideal thing to do at all. I wouldn’t wallow over it.

EvieBB · 16/08/2026 07:51

ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove · 16/08/2026 04:38

@Msidontknow How would you have liked the mother to respond? What could she have said in that moment that would have made you feel respected, included, and valued?

She could've just smiled and taken her child out of the way.....not made a sarcy comment!.it's not like OP was complaining

EvieBB · 16/08/2026 07:49

HoppityBun · 15/08/2026 17:24

She probably just felt a bit embarrassed that he’d got in the way. You could just have smiled and said “no problem “

She wasn't embarrassed....if she was she would've apologised. No she was just rude. OP didn't do anything wrong here

Anewusernametoday · 16/08/2026 05:49

I was on your side until you asked if it was racism.,,,

It doesn’t sound like it was linked to your ethnicity at all. She just sounds like a bit of a dick.

Buzzlightyeartowel · 16/08/2026 05:34

I absolutely hate it when people stand there expecting me to move without saying excuse me and I will take longer.
A toddler is different as they don’t have the understanding but it’s still easy enough to say excuse me.

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