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AIBU?

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I stopped drinking but people say stupid stuff

29 replies

Sunflowerpower52 · 15/08/2026 13:45

I stopped drinking a year ago, due to a major health issue that has shattered the last year of my life (it is unrelated to alcohol use but alcohol could potentially cause further complications).

Not drinking (not that I was a heavy drinker in the last few years) has been a huge eye opener, in how I deal with stress ect, but now I'm past the year mark I am proud of myself and have changed alot of my lifestyle. I cannot see myself drinking again and I am at peace with that and it's a real positive step in my health journey.

Something I've noticed more though, is how other people view it. People around me do not seem to be happy, they always pull a face, "oh just have one" "can't you drive you don't drink now" "just have a drink and then some water" "it's Christmas, one won't hurt" all these comments make me feel like a problem.

I stopped drinking due to a chronic kidney conditon, and have been in absolute agony, I am relatively young and its been very tough. It's mind boggling those around me find the idea of me stopping alcohol such an issue.

OP posts:
Mothrasstillmoshing · 15/08/2026 14:36

I stopped drinking 15 years ago and still get the same comments from when I gave up - "you're boring/no fun anymore/what's wrong with you/come on...loosen up a bit/there's no harm in one/ you just need to get blind drunk and not be so stressy" etc
I stopped drinking after a traumatic event because it was edging me towards alcoholism. I do now drink non-alcoholic versions of cider & gin etc but have had people (who think that they know better about what I need) buy the alcoholic versions on purpose. I can smell & taste the alcohol immediately and give them short shrift because they don't know why I'm alcohol free - I could be deathly allergic for all they know.
I do find it odd that smokers/vapers don't think twice about non smokers but refuse alcohol and you're automatically seen as strange. Someone actually said that they didn't trust people who don't drink alcohol as it meant that there was something wrong with them. I called them out on it and said that perhaps it says more about their own selves & their attitude than mine.

It's definitely a 'them' problem than a 'you' problem @Sunflowerpower52 but people who make it a real problem are not my friends and are relatives that I avoid where possible. It can be hard but stick to your guns and call it out every time if you can.

Likeiloveyou · 15/08/2026 14:06

It’s often seen as a declaration of war as you are shining a light on some (not everyone) people’s problematic drinking.

HobgoblinNorFoulFiend · 15/08/2026 14:00

I’m sorry you’re finding yourself surrounded by such daft people. I have kidney failure too, and have stopped drinking. Nobody’s ever tried to encourage me into drinking. I’d just do the mumsnet head tilt and “Did you mean to be so ignorant?” Those who mind don’t matter etc.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 15/08/2026 13:49

People do feel very judged by it and I cant really work out why. Sorry thats your experience too. I just cant process it properly drinking makes me feel sluggish and sleepy and low mood so it doesnt work for me. Id just smile and say ah you know, Drs Orders xx