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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to call out a man for using ladies loo?

65 replies

BlueBayBic · 15/08/2026 13:09

Yesterday in a motorway service station, a man used the ladies’ disabled/baby change loo. This was through the entryway to the ladies, but off to the right and separate to the main area of toilets on the left. I saw a lady with 2 young children try to challenge him as he went in, but he ignored her. When he came out, I asked why he had used the ladies - to which he (very red in the face) argued that it was separate and he didn’t go into the ladies. He definitely did! Another lady who witnessed this then went and checked and said to me that the toilet is separate, however this doesn’t excuse a man going past the ladies sign and into the designated ladies area. There was a separate, clearly signposted, male disabled/baby change behind the male toilets entryway. WIBU?

OP posts:
ThePieceHall · 15/08/2026 19:20

JustGiveMeReason · 15/08/2026 18:29

I honestly don’t believe he was a trans man/woman (not sure of terminology)… he appeared male in every sense of the word.

Wow.
Are you actually saying that trans men should somehow not "appear male in every sense of the word" Hmm

No trans men have campaigned to be able to use Ladies toilets. Bigots have forced this to become an issue where it never has been.

I’m not a bigot. I prefer for biological women (not ladies) to be able to use their designated toilets. And for biological men to use their designated toilets.

Jc2001 · 15/08/2026 19:16

SamphiretheTervosaur · 15/08/2026 16:09

Really?

Never seen that happen and I am 61 years old with DH with IBS

Show quote history

Ok, so if something hasn't happened to you personally, it won't have happened to anyone else on the entire planet.

Original poster
BlueBayBic · 15/08/2026 18:34

JustGiveMeReason · 15/08/2026 18:29

I honestly don’t believe he was a trans man/woman (not sure of terminology)… he appeared male in every sense of the word.

Wow.
Are you actually saying that trans men should somehow not "appear male in every sense of the word" Hmm

No trans men have campaigned to be able to use Ladies toilets. Bigots have forced this to become an issue where it never has been.

My views on trans issues are not relevant to the situation. I believe this person was male.

OP posts:
GreenWheat · 15/08/2026 18:30

I suppose it's slightly odd but I just am not bothered by this stuff. It was a separate cubicle, nobody's in a state of undress and he didn't loiter or speak to anyone 🤷

JustGiveMeReason · 15/08/2026 18:29

I honestly don’t believe he was a trans man/woman (not sure of terminology)… he appeared male in every sense of the word.

Wow.
Are you actually saying that trans men should somehow not "appear male in every sense of the word" Hmm

No trans men have campaigned to be able to use Ladies toilets. Bigots have forced this to become an issue where it never has been.

Original poster
BlueBayBic · 15/08/2026 18:23

I get that perhaps he wasn’t being a pervert … but I don’t see what reasonable excuse he could have had
to use the toilet he chose to use. Not sure why so many people are defending this bizarre-at-best behaviour. As others have said, if he had a genuine reason then surely he would have been apologetic and acknowledge the woman who challenged him as he went in?

It could have easily been his first jaunt into voyeurism and wanted to test the water, see what he could get away with in public … pure speculation, of course, but that seems much more likely than someone so desperate for the loo they couldn’t walk the extra few steps to the men’s.

I honestly don’t believe he was a trans man/woman (not sure of terminology)… he appeared male in every sense of the word.

OP posts:
luckylavender · 15/08/2026 18:19

NotAnotherScarf · 15/08/2026 13:10

Good for you. You know he's trying to catch a glimpse into the actual ladies and this is a way of doing it.

Sick cunt

You’re a mind reader?

NannyR · 15/08/2026 18:09

NotAnotherScarf · 15/08/2026 17:53

But he was walking.... past the ladies sign. So if he can walk without mobility aids (op would have mentioned them) then he could walk into the mens cubicles

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Needing mobility aids is not the only reason why people need to use accessible bathrooms. People with stomas need the extra space of an accessible loo and often need to use them very urgently.

Sirzy · 15/08/2026 18:08

NotAnotherScarf · 15/08/2026 17:53

But he was walking.... past the ladies sign. So if he can walk without mobility aids (op would have mentioned them) then he could walk into the mens cubicles

Show quote history

not everyone needs to use mobility aids. Even if they do they may not need them all the time, ds would very rarely use his chair in a service station as we are going car to toilet and straight back to car again.

He may have had a stoma or another invisible disability that meant he needed the space of the disabled toilets.

Glitchymn1 · 15/08/2026 17:59

I’ve used the gents before, massive queues for the ladies and I was desperate. It would depend for me, possibly an older bloke might just be desperate. I’d expect an announcement though as they shouldn’t be in there.

NotAnotherScarf · 15/08/2026 17:53

NannyR · 15/08/2026 14:32

He may have needed to use the loo urgently, maybe had an invisible disability and the gents loos were all busy. If this was the case, no wonder the poor chap was embarassed.

But he was walking.... past the ladies sign. So if he can walk without mobility aids (op would have mentioned them) then he could walk into the mens cubicles

ThatsVertigo · 15/08/2026 17:52

Dandelionsandseapinks · 15/08/2026 16:43

Thing is..the government now want transmen to go into ladies bathrooms so theres the possibility that this person was trans. I wouldnt attack anyone going into the loo who appears to just be using the loo. Its strange of you if im honest

Exactly. New guidelines now mean that people who are actively presenting as masculine are supposed to use the ladies.

Tumbler777 · 15/08/2026 17:47

There are stomach issues where there is very little warning and so i could see why someone would go into the nearest open toilet. Of course, if he does have that stomach issue, he could wear a nappy instead then the urgency wouldn't be such an issue.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 15/08/2026 17:39

Women often pop into the gents at busy venues (theatres etc) and use a cubicle to save queuing for the ladies. Seen it many times!

Pieceofpurplesky · 15/08/2026 17:39

He may have needed to change his stoma bag urgently or indeed been a trans man. I assume the toilet he used was fully enclosed?

Sirzy · 15/08/2026 17:36

I have been in a service station before where the only disabled toilet was past the (open) entrance to the ladies toilets. It was less than ideal but it was the only way he could access the toilet

ScholesPanda · 15/08/2026 17:31

I'm really struggling to picture the set-up here so I can't really say.

Someone checked and was told by the staff that the disabled loo was separate to the ladies? So if he'd asked staff for the disabled they'd have directed him there?

What is the ladies 'area'- like a vestibule before you got into the ladies or actually in the ladies where the sinks are?

I don't want men in the women's toilets at all, but this sounds like a weird design.

Wonkybaby · 15/08/2026 16:54

If he was using them because the men’s was busy then he could easily have said that!
Nope this is just good old fashioned male entitlement at best, voyeurism at worst.

Morepositivemum · 15/08/2026 16:50

I agree he shouldn’t have been there but last year I was in an ‘emergency’ situation and as I went to go to the women’s the cleaner said ‘there’s the worst smell you’ll honestly vomit in there, don’t go in’ and closed it, person in disabled so I went into the men’s . As I came out I apologised to a man on the way in telling him it had been an emergency. Nobody called me a pervert (you lost me at pervert op- people can call people out but don’t assume they’re the lowest scum of the earth)

Maray1967 · 15/08/2026 16:44

UniquePinkSwan · 15/08/2026 14:23

No you don’t know that. He saw where the disabled toilets where and went in. He didn’t go into the ladies at all

Show quote history

Yes he did. OP says there was a disabled loo in each set of toilets. He should have gone into the men’s area and used the men’s disabled loo. He was challenged by a woman who told him it was the ladies loo and he ignored her.

Dandelionsandseapinks · 15/08/2026 16:43

Thing is..the government now want transmen to go into ladies bathrooms so theres the possibility that this person was trans. I wouldnt attack anyone going into the loo who appears to just be using the loo. Its strange of you if im honest

Maray1967 · 15/08/2026 16:39

Entitled male behaviour - which needs stamping on each and every time.

Maray1967 · 15/08/2026 16:38

Millytante · 15/08/2026 13:19

Do you mean to say there was also a disabled access loo for men? If not, and he needed such a facility, he had little choice but to find his way to the Ladies’ one.
Baby changing rooms should not be within the Ladies’ area anyway. Men do cart infants around, and need to change nappies when out and about.

Not that I’m an apologist of men being within our loo spaces, not at all. But in this case, as it stands, any ill intentions have not been established by OP. .

Yes, her OP says that. He should have gone in the men’s area and used the men’s disabled loo. He had no right to be in the ladies area at all.

Well done, OP.

BillieWiper · 15/08/2026 16:34

I would want to definitely say something. Though I suppose it would depend on how scary looking the man was. I suppose it would be better to say something that actually stopped them from going in, rather than question them on the way out.

Original poster
BlueBayBic · 15/08/2026 16:32

Millytante · 15/08/2026 13:19

Do you mean to say there was also a disabled access loo for men? If not, and he needed such a facility, he had little choice but to find his way to the Ladies’ one.
Baby changing rooms should not be within the Ladies’ area anyway. Men do cart infants around, and need to change nappies when out and about.

Not that I’m an apologist of men being within our loo spaces, not at all. But in this case, as it stands, any ill intentions have not been established by OP. .

There were disabled and baby change facilities signposted in the men’s toilet area.

He was not pretending to be a woman or in any way appeared to be feminine. Just a young 20-something bloke who walked past the big sign of a lady in a dress and into the ladies’ facilities, ignoring a lady who was challenging him as he did so.

I didn’t see him ogling or anything but I wasn’t watching, just waiting outside and challenged him as I saw him leave.

OP posts: