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Original poster

AIBU to feel blamed over our daughter's fear of the dark?

8 replies

MummyAtALoss · 14/08/2026 19:53

Been on a family day out today with DH, DD (5) and grandparents. Went to a quirky place that is follies with a mixture of tunnels and curiosities. DD got quite upset in some of the darker parts and didn’t want to carry on. It was a surprise as she normally has quite a gung ho attitude to life.

It felt a little stressful as the grandparents (my dad) had paid and wanted her to enjoy the day. After some cajoling from me, she got involved and actually enjoyed herself.

When I was just thinking out loud about her reticent, my DH said in quite a barbed manner “this is your fault. You insisting on leaving the light on a night has made her afraid of the dark”.

This came out of nowhere, my DH has never commented on this before. She has a very low level nightlight, which wouldn’t consider out of the ordinary.

AIBU to feel this was an unhelpful comment in a tricky situation and make me feel under attack?

OP posts:
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Thepossibility · 14/08/2026 22:28

DH is a fucking idiot. All of my kids were scared of the dark and I remember not being a fan when I was a child too. Five is still little, maybe if she was 15 the comment would be more appropriate.

Original poster
MummyAtALoss · 14/08/2026 21:16

Loulou4022 · 14/08/2026 20:43

Ooo was it Forbidden corner you went to?? We went at the end of July and bloody loved it! I can see how some children might be frightened at some parts.

Yes! It was Forbidden Corner - last time I went was 15/20 years ago, so I’d forgotten most of it! Absolutely brilliant place, incredible how it is all designed!

OP posts:
Loulou4022 · 14/08/2026 20:43

Ooo was it Forbidden corner you went to?? We went at the end of July and bloody loved it! I can see how some children might be frightened at some parts.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 14/08/2026 20:30

OP, definitely not overthinking your dh's response. It gives insight to what he is actually thinking about you and your parenting, imo.

Ladidahdi · 14/08/2026 20:21

My 9 year old was spooked at forbidden corner. It’s a creepy place. I jumped a few times when we went!

Original poster
MummyAtALoss · 14/08/2026 20:20

Mumtobabyhavoc · 14/08/2026 19:59

OP's husband is a dick. Fear of the dark is completely normal in children from around age 2 to around age 8, or so.

Wondering if he always looks for ways to take jabs at OP? 🤔

And fgs why are you or anyone else forcing your child to do something they didn't want to do? It was simply to appease a selfish adult.

Edited

Thanks for your responses, I feel better to think I’m not overthinking it.

I did say at the time “I can’t believe you’ve said that”, but left it at that. He doesn’t make a habit of this behaviour but is terrible at admitting fault or apologising.

With regard to forcing her, it was only the elements I knew she’d actually like - stepping stones, getting squirted with water, etc. Because she hadn’t liked the first bit she’d done, I think she felt the rest was a non negotiable - but once she tried it, I couldn’t get her out.

Totally agree about not coercing her in to stuff she genuinely would be terrified of, but can see how my post read like that.

OP posts:
nc42day · 14/08/2026 20:04

Kids are scared of the dark, so are some adults. It's nothing to do with night lights, and it is everything to do with evolution.

Your DH was being a dick.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 14/08/2026 19:59

OP's husband is a dick. Fear of the dark is completely normal in children from around age 2 to around age 8, or so.

Wondering if he always looks for ways to take jabs at OP? 🤔

And fgs why are you or anyone else forcing your child to do something they didn't want to do? It was simply to appease a selfish adult.

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