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Original poster

Help. My therapist won’t let me go.

110 replies

Lizzbear · 14/08/2026 16:47

This is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but also a bit worrying. I’ve been seeing a psychodynamic therapist on the NHS therapies fir 5 weeks, once a week.
I’ve been suffering with intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
After a couple of sessions I decided we weren’t a good fit, Im not sure it’s forms.
I’ve told him on 3 occasions but he keeps saying I’m giving up on myself and that he’ll see me next week. I then feel bad and turn up the following week, and have the same conversation.
He’s quite hard to read, and it’s not his fault I’m looking for more direction.
The thing is it’s an unusual therapy which is based on the relationship between the therapist and the patient.
its called dynamic interpersonal therapy and Im finding it hard to navigate. I think I’ll stick with it now, but has anyone else had this therapy?
How did you find it?

OP posts:
WatchingTheStarsFromMyHammock · 14/08/2026 17:35

Lizzbear · 14/08/2026 17:28

Thank you. Haha. I know it seems daft, but I get there and start talking and he looks confused and we then have a very strange conversation about me and Im not sure we see eye to eye.
Whatever I say about it not feeling right, he talks me into coming back!!

Show quote history

It doesn't sound daft at all! Your comments about him being hard to read and needing more direction just made me chuckle, because that's literally how psychodynamic approaches work. There is no direction and they have to be a 'blank canvas'.

It sounds like something more structured and guided is what you need. CBT could be more your cup of tea, but often it's very manualised in NHS services, or done on the phone so people don't get on with it, and think it's useless. Done by someone who is highly trained, who makes it very individualised and it's a really good approach. Especially for those who need more direction.

Lots of therapies to choose from though. Lots of third wave CBT models such as mindfulness and compassion focussed therapy

Original poster
Lizzbear · 14/08/2026 17:28

WatchingTheStarsFromMyHammock · 14/08/2026 17:24

I don't mean to laugh, but he's a psychodynamic psychotherapist, he's absolutely supposed to be hard to read. That's the whole point.

Each to their own, but if I ever needed therapy, I would never go for psychodynamic. It would just be a terrible fit for my personality and world view. By the same token, it might work really well for others, who themselve might be horrified by CBT. Why are you being given this approach instead of another therapeutic approach? There are so many different types of therapy. There is something to suit everyone.

You are allowed to say that the approach isn't working for you and you want to try something different. The best therapists are trained in multiple approaches and go with the one that suits the patient/situation best

Thank you. Haha. I know it seems daft, but I get there and start talking and he looks confused and we then have a very strange conversation about me and Im not sure we see eye to eye.
Whatever I say about it not feeling right, he talks me into coming back!!

OP posts:
Usefuladvice · 14/08/2026 17:26

Stick at it OP. Are you telling yourself you don't gel and because of that you are holding back?

WatchingTheStarsFromMyHammock · 14/08/2026 17:24

I don't mean to laugh, but he's a psychodynamic psychotherapist, he's absolutely supposed to be hard to read. That's the whole point.

Each to their own, but if I ever needed therapy, I would never go for psychodynamic. It would just be a terrible fit for my personality and world view. By the same token, it might work really well for others, who themselve might be horrified by CBT. Why are you being given this approach instead of another therapeutic approach? There are so many different types of therapy. There is something to suit everyone.

You are allowed to say that the approach isn't working for you and you want to try something different. The best therapists are trained in multiple approaches and go with the one that suits the patient/situation best

Original poster
Lizzbear · 14/08/2026 17:03

Thanks all. I needed common sense comments

OP posts:
Original poster
Lizzbear · 14/08/2026 17:03

Well, I keep telling him, but he says we are making progress!
Also, if I stick out the 16 weeks, I can join a group therapy. I waited a long time for this therapy but I’m not really “getting it”.

OP posts:
MsGreying · 14/08/2026 17:02

Just don't go.
One of the bravest things I did during my depression was stop going to see someone who traumatised me at each session.
I asked for different help and had a wonderful counselor who helped.

rubyslippers · 14/08/2026 17:02

Stop going
its a business relationship not a hostage situation
And find a therapist you gel with

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 14/08/2026 17:01

Just...stop going Confused

Likeiloveyou · 14/08/2026 17:00

Why are you sticking with it if you’re not making progress? 😆

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