Help. My therapist won’t let me go.

I dont know about a money spinner - I made a lot more money in my corporate job before I retrained, and would be a lot better off this late in my career if I had not switched.

Having worked in the States though, I am appalled at the lack of protection around this profession here. Not that there arent poor therapists in the US, but at least there is a chance of managing them out of the profession if there are complaints. Over here, literally anyone can call themselves a psychotherapist, and if people are not accredited, there is no come back to them.

There was a move to have all these professions regulated by the HPC, as psychologists are, but it died a death years ago. I hope it gets resurrected, as it would be very helpful in regulating the profession. Its not infallible, but it would help.

Therapy is about so much more than an individual perceiving they they do or don't have problems. That's a very odd comment from someone who works in the mental health field. Also, that opening question, while not unheard of, is far from ideal.

Just to add, I've been on the receiving end of psychodynamic therapy myself. The reason I stopped is because I didn't have any problems anymore. I was really struggling to dredge up "has anything bad come up for me this week?" If you still have problems, make the best use of what you've been offered.

I work in the NHS in mental health. You are incredibly lucky to get a psychodynamic therapist at all, and even more lucky to get one trained in DIT and to get 16 sessions. I assume there is good reason why this has been recommended to you.

The whole point of this therapy is to work stuff out on an interpersonal basis, and some confusion and projection is part of that. Having worked with many people in the past I would recommend you discuss this with your therapist rather than asking the internet when we don't know your difficulties and can't properly advise you.

Depends.

If the OP has severe intrusive thoughts with a history of acting upon them then she might not have a choice.
It could be "talk to this therapist or be held under section 8 of the mental health act".

So much of this is much deeper than I'm going to discuss here. I was quite down and seriously depressed and saw a therapist privately. One thing she said that has stayed with me is ... why are you crying ... i am a cryer but it made me try to identify it. The other thing was to go and buy myself a teddy bear ... he's still upstairs, haven't given him to any of the grandchildren,

After a while I realised I didn't want to go any more; felt time had gone and I'd rather go shopping, I thought this was quite healthy!

Told her I wouldn't be booking any more sessions, I felt fine now. She got very strange with me, questioned my not continuing ,,, and said that when I fell over again I'd be back. I feel i did well to escape when I did.

I met her socially a while later, and she wanted us to pretend we didn't know each other, I had no privacy issues. As we spent more time in a social circle it became clear she was mad as a box of frogs, but i wasn't aware of her still working as a councillor!

I think I feel that a therapist isn't necessarily dangerous because psychotherapy is inherently dangerous; the danger is that the therapist's interpretation can acquire too much authority. I certainly think it should be highly regulated and only highly skilled people should be therapists. It's absolutely become too much of a thing people are attracted to get into because they think it's cool or the money is good. I remember when I was young having therapy about overcoming my anxiety over learning to drive. The woman had another job and was cramming therapy sessions in with people around the rest of her life. In two sessions, she literslly fell asleep for about 20 minutes each time. I was young and just sat there waiting for her to wake up again. She didnt even offer me any money back. It was a joke. But I bet if I'd turnedvup 20nminutes late O would have heard all about it.

Well, if it helped then that's good.

But that’s the law! She was telling you so you could decide what to say. If there’s a chance that an abuser is still abusing, you aren’t suggesting she do nothing, surely?

He works for the NHS. Whether OP atrends wont affect his income.

A lot of therapists work privately and are not accredited and a lot of consumers dont educate themselves before they sign up with people. It’s not uncommon for patients to be unable to tell me anything about their previous therapists training or modalities. This is why it should be a protected title like psychologist which then means in order to protect your practice you have to go through regular scrutiny. It’s not infallible, but it would give people some protection.

As pp have pointed out, the experience OP is having is mimicking ambivalence about attachment which is exactly what it should be doing. Therapy is not about being comfortable- if you are I would question its value.

I expect he wants the income, or wants to show that people don’t drop out of treatment with him or both.

Perhaps. It certainly surprised me. However, it was only once, and his therapy took me from a rage filled woman struggling to parent small children effectively and at risk of being abusive, to someone with much better understanding of the burdens I’d been carrying.
He didn’t ever push me to talk about the things that I was keeping under lock and key because I was afraid of the impact of addressing them directly. He reassured me that therapy was for the ‘hard things’, and that it was my decision.

I perhaps haven’t described the incident well. I never felt unsafe with him, and I’m someone who struggles to feel safe with people.

I don’t know where I’d be now without those sessions, and I’m for ever appreciative of my good fortune in getting them, on the NHS.

You can't really expect the NHS to fund therapy for you (and everyone else who needs it) for the rest of your life?

It's a shame she wasn't good but six weeks is surely better than nothing. I wish they'd give me any form of therapy. I've been turned down for everything as I'm too complex. Apparently!

No.no. Sorry. That's controlling and unethical in my opinion. Once ppl start controlling other people's basic bodily functions you are getting into dangerous territory..That's cult like behaviour. For every perdonn who thinks thia is ok I'm betting you'd find someone who thinks it's not remotely all right.

He was identifying an anxiety response. My body getting me out of a situation I was uncomfortable with.

Why you needed to go to the toilet......are you serious. That's sick.

I had therapy that revolutionised my life. It was bloody uncomfortable. I’d think I was on the right track, then he’d interrupt me and say we were getting too caught up in thinking about A, and needed to talk about Y.
I felt almost attacked, in that he’d comment on the way I’d ask for a pencil, or want to know why I needed to leave and go to the toilet.
It was a bit like a meeting with a headteacher.

But he helped me understand and manage some pretty unhealthy thought patterns. Things that I assumed were sensible and obvious truths and values, he exposed as damaging training if picked up as a child..

That said, I believe he was unusually skillfull. It’s possible your guy is pants. I’d stick with it, just in case.

I think the industry should be much better regulated. There are some excellent therapists, but there are some real shockers too who are doing damage. The saying," physician heal thyself," really does come to.mind.

That is appalling, I’m sorry that happened to you when you were supposed to be in a safe space. I had similar with my first psychiatrist- she said at the very start of the session she’d have to contact the police if I said anything that might alert her to my abuser harming someone now. I was there regarding historic abuse. We’d not even started the session.

I think being accredited shows more commitment but with that you will have had to have had many hours of therapy and work on placements for free and what we have ended up with is an industry that doesn’t not represent our society and seeing an accredited therapist unless on the NHS is costly. Many people are seeing trainee or therapists that are not accredited (some working towards accreditation but need to earn too). It’s how it’s set up and desperately needs to change as so many more people from across society would make excellent therapists. Though it’s often stated that you do not or should not need to relate with your therapist for some people there is a need just to get them to work with a therapist.

the very nature of the work is going to attract people who want to fix. Is this for themselves, for others, their past unresolved issues (ideally worked on through training/own therapy) a desire not recognised to control. I think all this can play out not all is negative

I have worked with some highly respected therapists who I wouldn’t trust at all they are so driven by their ego and others who sadly had to find other work but were really good simply because the work didn’t pay the bills

In my limited experience we often try and stop therapy because its getting somewhere and the brain hits fight or flight so protect itself. If you dont feel like its actively harming you then id stick with it.
That being said when I was 17 I was raped and the victim support counsellor I saw told me she would report me to tje police if I ever said anything about wishing I could have harmed my rapist... I mean I was saying I wish I could have fought back and hurt him, if i had known how to defend myself I could have killed him and done the world a favour. She shut me down and told me she didn't want me to discuss stuff like that with her. I didn't go back.

I've never heard that in any of the NHS services I've been associated with.