AIBU to think equal inheritance for each child causes the least friction?

I agree it’s the path of less conflict, but I don’t think it’s always the right thing to do. You quite often read on here of one sibling doing so much more care, whilst sibling doesn’t nothing and doesn’t even see the relative for years. In that instance I don’t think an equal split is morally right really.

My DM was going to split it 4 ways between us then suddenly decided she would include the DGCs so another 7 - and she had already given a large amount up front to (useless) eldest DS (as if a 4 way split)- annoying. I didn't need the money but DSis did so she got not much in the end. Definitely affected my lasting memories of DM - it seemed spiteful and completely unnecessary

Siblings aren’t always close, leading their own lives and living in different areas. Then if one is disgruntled due to the will, there isn’t then a need to continue contact, sometimes parents were the glue that kept the family together and once that is no longer around - they just go their separate ways. Money is then seen as the reason but it might only be a fraction of the reason

Quite frankly, I’d sooner have my mum than be arsing about arguing over her money.

All this talk of who is getting what when the person is still actually alive is really unpleasant.

I think it’s fine to want to directly gift each grandchild a set amount/percentage in the will. The grandparent is allowed to want all the grandchildren to benefit equally at their death, rather than some receiving less because of their parents’ choices. And I say that as a one and done who would never benefit from this arrangement.

If anything in the will is different to “split between my children equally”, the person writing the will should have the decency to explain their decisions to people before they die though. Writing a potentially controversial will and letting everyone find out when you die is cowardly.

Mirror will with DH then when the last of us pops off it’s a quarter each. No special provision for GC. We will leave them stuff we know they love, and give them cash towards uni or whatever they decide to do when they’re a bit older so we can see them enjoy it.
If you are a step child, make sure your parent actually has their own will. Luckily helped my mum sort hers (despite sf ‘advice’ to her! ) or everything of her private wealth would’ve gone to step father and his kids.

issue are assets- everything will need to be liquidated if the split if to be equal but this is not the best tax efficient way

Interestingly my DM, this week, has told me that she is rewriting her will - I’m out and everything is going to her grandchildren (my children).
This is because I am “lucky” that when DH died he left me money (life insurance).
Of course my DM can do what she likes with her money - I just smiled and said it’s up to you!
Not sure I feel incredibly lucky though!

That's a good solution. Children get the lion's share and grandchildren get a little something.
But what if there are stepchildren in the generation that inherits?

I am leaving 20% to be split between any grandchildren at the time ( youngest DS has no children yet) and the rest to be split equally between my DC . I want it to be as simple as possible . I would hate them to fall out about money .

In my family we leave a set sum to each gc (usually £10k) and then the balance is split equally between our children. If there was so little to leave (and loads of gc!) then the children may end up with <£10k but that hasn't happened yet - think wills would be rewritten in this case. My partner's family leave bugger all to anyone as that's what's usually in their bank accounts (luckily their debts tend to die with them).

Maybe people should realise what people do with their money is up to them and tantrums are not necessary

My sibling has already made it clear that they expect more from my DP because they have children and I don't. But I also know that my DP have split it equally between us so I'm expecting a battle when they pass.

depends on the circumstances

My father died in January, and boy did my brother behave like a twat.

We had both, separately told him to make a will.

I was on Universal credit, which means the UC can loan you the costs of the funeral and associated costs. You have to pay it all back except the cost of attending the funeral.

I also have legal cover on my home insurance so we could have free legal advice.

My brother would not choose wither of those options.

My father died intestate because (and I only found this out later) he wasn't well enough to sign the will and power of attorney my brother had had drawn up while he was in hospital. I assume it was what my father had asked him, but I do not know for sure.

So my brother got the money released, not in to an executor's account, but in to his own account, and paid for various funeral expenses through that.

There are a number of other issues but I got a half baked spreadsheet but no actual paperwork.

I'm disabled so it's not that easy to travel and I did not have money for a hotel. Dad lived 200 miles away so not really suitable to visit.

Anyway there was pressure put on me to 'honour the will'. But I may well be back on Universal Credit at some point so I am keeping meticulous records of where and how I am spending some of my inheritance.

Then I got an email from my brother saying the DWP had overpaid my dad's pension and some money needed to be paid back. Remember my brother used his own bank account and the letter was addressed to my brother, so I can't just make a payment from my bank account to my brother's when there is no evidence that I'm required to do so.

So a 50/50 split might be fair, but not everyone is going to like it.

Equal doesn't guarantee happiness. When GM died, she left an even split to her 4 DC. My aunt demanded more as she'd done all the care for 20+ years.

My DP's are splitting equally. I resent it as I'm doing the care. DB answers their calls occasionally & stops by twice a year. He'll also get things from DF's shed, worth quite a bit. It's not fair at all. DB would kick up a stink because he's in a poor financial position (own fault). I think he'll get a shock at how little there will be anyway, as DF has badly mismanaged their money.

My childless uncle is giving most to charity. I'm getting a paltry token - the same as my cousins who haven't spoken to him in 30+ years. I am local, so see him regularly & help a lot. Token is designed to stop us contesting the will. I never expected a penny, but to be drawn into looking after him in his old age, and him wanting free financial advice from DH (financial adviser) that costs thousands, and then deliberately ensuring I get nothing, despite struggling financially at times, I have backed off. It's not about money, but intent.

I don’t think it has anything to do with fractions or percentages or children or grandchildren. It comes down to the personalities involved, and communication while the benefactors are still
alive.

My MIL left an equal amount to each of her grandchildren (including step granchildren).

She then wanted the rest split equally between her children. With the proviso that the parents of her grandchildren give their children and extra £xk from their amount. This didn't then penalise her kids who didn't have any children, and gave everyone a "fair share".

Though I probably ought to state that none of her children expected any money and encouraged her to use it for her own comfort and needs!

It causes the least friction, as beneficiaries can’t really contest it.
But I wouldn’t say it prevents resentment.

My parents did the equal split, but I did feel it was a bit unfair because they didn’t give us the same starts in life and so naturally those that had free rides through Uni and/or house deposits were much better off than those of us who had no help. It is all acknowledged between us, but no one is willing to go against our parents wishes and redistribute the estate to close the inequitable consequences of our parents’ past decisions.

I think ideally an equal split is the best option to avoid hurt feelings but there can be scenarios where that’s not always the best option.

Id like to think if I was wealthy and my sibling wasn’t that I’d be okay with a different split.

My parents aren’t leaving it equally - I get 10% more than my sibling as their children are included in the split and also they are a drug addict who are barely around and have had much more monetary help over the years than I have.

Really? DH has 2 DS. DS55 lives 1.5 hours away and visits 4-5 times a year. DS 52 lives 3 hours away and visits every 2-3 years. Both call montly or weekly.
We live 20 minute walk.
Visit 3-4 times per week. Sort out all finances, ferry to hospital appointments, call daily and take calls constantly. Deal with all health problems, computer problems, which bin goes out........
But yeah equal split perfect when one have given up their life and many aspects of their life to support DP.

My sibling and I have two children each and our mother recently died and left half to me and half to my sibling's two children. AFAIK my sibling is not a gambler. I can only assume either she felt she'd already helped them/their spouse enough (help to buy a property which we didn't get, though we didn't need it) or she was worried my sibling is bad with money in general (they did make some bad investments around the time she made her will).
Edit to say: my sibling is being quite grown up about it though I imagine it rankles. I'm an executor and they aren't so I'm also feeling the pressure to be grown up.

My sister and her husband are likely to inherit around £1 million from his parents. We are likely to inherit around £30k from my in laws. They are also substantially richer than us (mainly because she married a doctor and I didn't but also ill health on my side)
My mum asked me if they should give me more than my sister. I told her to absolutely not to do this as my sister would be really sad and feel less loved. She is generous anyway and often pays for meals out before we even get the bill. But it would feel hurtful at a time when tensions and emotions are likely high.

Speaking as someone who only got 1/8 of my mother's estate rather than the 1/2 my sister got, it's very unfair.

The reason? I'd "brought shame on her" by getting divorced.

As fat as I know, nobody on either my or my ex-husband!s side ever specifically left anything to any grandchildren in a will. When the first parent died, the surviving parent had everything until their death, when anything from the sale of a house, plus their savings and investments, were split between the adult offspring regardless of whether they had children or not.

My subling never married and lived at home when our mother died, her will let them remain in the house for their lifetime so if my sister or I die first, our share will be divided between our adult children.