Inheritance with grandchildren and step grandchildren

@DogsInThePaddlingPool

Speak to your mum. Tell her that she should leave it equally between her three children, with the suggestion that they then pass it on to their own children if they don't need it.

Your sister can then split her third equally between her own children.

Your sister is essentially saying she wants 4/9ths (44%) of the money.

It's kind of your mum to leave something to the step children when they will have their own two sets of grandparents to inherit from.

Your sister's family overall is still getting more than your family so she might want to re-think any suggestion that the split is unfair.

Context is so important.
eg in our family, my BIL and wife have three children- the eldest is not biologically my BILs, however they have been a family since nephew was 2. Nephew has no contact with any of bio father’s family or bio father.
so he is 100% our family and would always be treated as a biological child.
other BUL has two step children, been with the mum since children were teens, they have contact with dad and his family and one lives with his dad.
feels completely different! I would imagine they would get a token amount but would not be considered as a biological child.

It’s up to your mum but I’d have left it to my three adult children and it would then be up to them how they shared it out.

My DH’s parents passed several years ago and they left sizeable amounts for each biological grandchild. My son is DH’s stepson and was excluded. DH has been in his life since DS was 2 and he treats him like a son (he is our only child, no children together). DS considers him his dad. I was perfectly fine with this outcome and did not expect anything different, it didn’t even occur to me that this would not have been the outcome. DH was upset about it. I had to have a few conversations with him, but I think part of the issue was that he felt he had been treated differently by his parents (and he had, our lawyer confirmed this) and this was just another example.

Personally, including only biological children makes sense to me. Though in an interesting twist, DH later found out that an earlier Will had included DS but after his first parent passed, his sisters spoke to the remaining parent and the Will was changed. So his issue is more about his sisters and the remaining parent at the time.

But for me, I think it would have been odd if DS had received an inheritance.

Your sister is welcome to try to take from her children’s shares to top up her step kids, even though that’s against her mum's wishes and her own kids may say no but she’s being wildly cheeky asking you to change your mum’s mind. Her strop since you said no tells you a lot. Leave her to stew.

Nothing to do with anyone other than your Mum. That said, better she let you all know now rather than it being unearthed on her passing.

This may be a good suggestion? Or that mum leaves it to the three children and then they can vary the will to leave to their children as they want?

Does she think you will all disinherit your own children ? Up to her I suppose

I say it every time but, yet again, take this thread as a warning to never discuss your Will with anyone except your solicitor!
And then leave everything to the donkey sanctuary......

I don't expect my parents to leave anything to my SC whatsoever. My SC may inherit from their 2 parents and 4 GP, as will my DC. They don't need 6 bites!

However, my SC (& so SGC) are reflected in my own will, but that is because DH and I have mirror wills.

You're not being unreasonable, but this is why it might be better for your mum to leave thirds of her estate to each set of grandchildren so equalising affects your sister's share rather than reducing it for every other grandchild.

But at the end of the day, it is completely up to your mum.

You're not being unreasonable. Do the stepchildren have other involved grandparents or is your mum their main grandparent? What's her relationship with them like? Either way though, you're right that it's her money and not your business.