Inheritance with grandchildren and step grandchildren

Really? My kids will be surprised as they've only ever had two. DHs father died when DH was just a few months old. My father died when I was 12. Where can my children lodge their complaint about their lack of grandfathers.

I would actually talk to my mum about this on my sisters behalf it was me, as I would personally be disgusted with anyone who treated children differently after they died (in other words, it is no skin off their nose, so why would they care enough to make a point of treating them differently).

If the children were 4 and 5, your family is what they know.. except at times like this when it is pointed out to them that actually they aren't part of your family at all, it's a horrible legacy to leave and that is the reason I would discuss it with my mum, I'd respect her ultimate decision but I would make her aware of how hurtful it is to the grandchildren to treat them out as outsiders?

The fairest thing by everyone would be to leave equal thirds to each set of grandchildren and let the parents decide how to apportion it between their children, segregating members of the family as lesser is always going to be hurtful.

Honestly I think your mum might just be better leaving it to her kids and then letting her own kids decide what to do next. Yes it’s her money but it does seem incredibly divisive to leave much more to her biological grandchildren.

Plus IME the younger people inherit the more likely they are to not use the money wisely. Is your mum aware for example that if one of the grandchildren gets married, half the money is likely to go to their spouse if they then divorce? Or that the grandchildren could just spend the inheritance dicking about in Thailand for a couple of years?

Yanbu.
This 100% your mothers decision.
I wouldn't dream of saying a word to her.

Its up to your mum who she leaves her estate to. Depending on care requirements, there may not be much, so getting angry in advance can also cause problems for no end result.

Any opinion I may have in your situation would also depend on the circumstances for your sisters step children. Do they have 2 other sets of grandparents? Is their financial background similar to your mums? Are they likely to inherit a lot or nothing at all from that side?

2 other sets of wealthy GPs would be very different to no contact with their biological mums side of the family. Although, at the end of the day, still up to your mum what she wants to give and to who and like you, I would stay out of it.

Its your mum's money and her decision. You cant tell someone what to do with their money.

If anyone tried that with me, id be straight down to the solicitor with a revision they really wouldnt like.

Your sisters step children have another family they may inherit from.

Wow! Those posters saying ‘all children have four grandparents!’ Seriously?!

It's your Mum's choice. Could be she was also thinking that the stepchildren will have grandparents on their maternal/paternal side/another parent they don't live with, who they could well benefit from.

OP should definitely advocate to have the estate split in thirds - who cares about her sister and her step-kids, 1/3 is more than 2/7 ;)

Its up to your Mum who she leaves her money to but she would have been better leaving it to her children IMO.

I don't like this trend of leaving to the grandchildren because it feels far more likely to be unfair, whether it's not fair as some don't have any children, some have too many, some have step and bio and so on. More might be born after the will is written. Much easier to just divide between your children and leave a small token amount to all grandchildre/step-grandchildren including those yet to be born!

I also think giving younger people substantial sums when they might be young is a bad idea, the ideal would be they use it for a house deposit, the less ideal is they waste it on living costs or something. If their parent gets richer through inheritance, the parent can then offer a deposit/money that way.

Surely the step children will inherit from their own biological grandparents?

I think your sisters viewpoint is understandable if she has spent all her life trying to treat the kids equally.

But at the end of the day its your mums decision and no one has the right to try to pressurise her into something she doesn't want. There may be a number of reasons why she thinks the way she does.

Maybe you could point out to your sister that what your mum chooses to do is her business and shouldnt be influenced by anyone else. If your sister feels a great injustice has been done maybe she will have the opportunity in the future to undo that with her own will, rather than demand others live up to her expectations.

Absolutely not . The mother does not want to do this .No one has any right to tell anyone who they should leave their money to . And the mother has just changed her will and does not want to leave it to her kids , only the grandchildren. But she is also kindly leaving some to the SGC . The daughter is unreasonable.

Unless that’s exactly why she’s doing it because she’s making sure it ultimately ends up where she wants it to go. Doesn’t sound like she’s really thinking about the divide that will cause in the sister’s family though. In her position I’d leave it to my children and let them make their own choices.

Why do people tell their family what they’ll do with wills.?!

Will her children inherit from the step-childrens grandparents? Your sister is bonkers, the SDC are lucky to inherit anything. Overall her kids will be getting a bigger share that they would if the estate was divided into 3 parts

All children have four grandparents.

OP's sister is wanting a special case made for her children to have six grandparents.

Well no, it doesn't work like that, does it?

I hope your mum doesn’t feel bullied into changing her will.

All children get 4 grandparents. A few are lucky enough to get an inheritance from some of them. Your sister's stepchildren got very lucky to get some inheritance from a 5th party.

It does seem sad to leave sc out but they wouod have had their own gp.

Dp neice has one child and one sc so that maybe tricky in future for the gp.

Also worth considering that while it may seem the gp have x amount of money if they live to 100 or go into care the amounts could be small and in op case already divided between 2+3+2 so if went down to 50k it would be only 7k each.. If sc too would be 5.5k.
Our older relative did just 1k down to the ggc.

Maybe the sc parents can save up some funds to equalise a bit

Have a similar debate in my family - not related to step children but different numbers of children.

A brother and sister have 2 children and 4 children respectively. Should a Grandparent want to go straight to the Grandkids, should each get 1/6th or should 1/2 be split between 2 and 1/2 split between 4. Argument being that if they just split it 1/2 between the siblings then the Grandkids proportion would change.

Ultimately the person making the will gets to choose. People falling out over money is far too common and far too sad.

Your sister is being unreasonable trying to get you involved. Its up to your mum who she leaves her money too.

I would never expect to inherit from my step grandparents. Surely the step kids have other grandparents to inherit from.