Inheritance with grandchildren and step grandchildren

But they don't have them, the argument that a step GC doesn't need to inherit as they"have"(present tense) 4 grandparents is a pretty pathetic argument. What benefit exactly did my children get from a grandfather who died 40 years before they were born? Would that justify a step grandfather saying they cant inherit as they have their real grandparent?

I was step child and at no point did it even ever occur to me to expect to inherit from my stepdad's parents.

There's actually nothing to say the children are expecting anything, this is 100% about the sister being angry at her SC being publicly treated as lesser than the other grandchildren. People love to say it's 'entitled' and 'grabby' but really there's often much more to it than that.

this wouldn't sit well with me either, I wouldn't want 2 of my children to inherit a large sum while the other two were given a token amount, besides it causing awkwardness between the 4 children, if the sister doesn't differentiate between all the children then no one else in the family should take it upon themselves to do that either, just to make a point after they have died (or before in this case).

People who do this are doing it to make a point knowing full well it will cause bad feeling, that is all. It could all be avoided by leaving a third each to each set of grandchildren.

100%

This is the situation in our family, my DH & I will never inherit from anyone, but our children will end up loaded. It sucks. It's hurtful.

Elderly parents often need quite a bit of help and while nobody does that for an inheritance, I'd be pissed off if I gave a lot of help while my children didn't give any, and then they inherited.

I was the unwanted step child. Yabu from what I can tell here.

Or it could be that she secretly loathes her DILs/SILs, so doesn't want them to benefit from being married to her adult offspring when they inherit.
😀

More likely to be due to tax.

No I don't agree my children only had two grandparents. They had many ancestors, mainly dead, but a grandparent is someone in your life as far as I'm concerned.

Your mum can do what she wants. It would have been simpler if she had just left her money to you and your siblings. It's upsetting for your step nieces/nephews if they consider your mum their grandma.

To me it would depend if the stepchildren were actually brought up my daughter and saw her as their mum and us as their grandparents. In that case I would treat them the same as blood grandchildren . It’s a moot point though as apart from a token gift to my DC I will leave my children whatever I have .

Ilovelifeverymuch

Imo it’s not cowardly to let them know after, it’s ridiculous to let them know before and have their last years on earth sullied by everyone bickering. If they’re going to fight they’re going to fight, may as well not see them being assholes about what you’ve decided!!

One of the reasons for leaving estates directly to grandchildren is to avoid a generation's worth of inheritance tax. But of course this only applies to huge estates.
As we see on this thread, it may save tax, but causes issues in relationships, unless each of your children has the same number of children, and no step children, so e.g. 50% to your two children works out the same as 25% to each of their two children (your four grandchildren).

your mum’s decision to skip straight to the Grandkids has nothing to do with her children being “settled and financially secure” (which can change in the blink of an eye due to illness, bereavement, divorce etc) and everything to do with her wanting to ensure that her money will not eventually end up with the step kids. Fact.

No idea why this is discussed tbh. An inheritance is not guaranteed especially as people live longer and with potential dementia. There could be nothing left if they need care.

your sister is a horrible grabby one and posting on here about it isn't great either

It is simple.

Mums money, Mums choice, the end.

And just hope it doesn't need to be discussed for several more decades.

Why make matters more complicated? Just split it between her 3 children. Each child can then decide how much each grandchild will receive.

Your children will inherit twice, then, from your mum and from you. You won't inherit at all. How is that fair?

She should leave it equally between her own children and let them sort out what they give away and when.

They still had 4 grandparents, even if some are dead. The same goes if they are NC. My daughter has 2 active grandparents and my stepdaughter has 1 as my husband is NC with his parents and his ex is NC with her father.

Doesn't mean they didn't exist.

I'm not a lawyer, but another reason I'd have against this type of arrangement in the will, is what if your mum lives for decades and your sisters relationship breaks down and she no longer sees the step children? Then your mum has to consider redoing her will.

I think that in the case of leaving it to the grandchildren, the proportion should be linked to how many children the will writer has, so gran has three children, each family gets a third. Gran can say "do you want your third in your name or do you want it in your children's names?"

Correct, all children will have 4 grandparents. They may not be alive, may be no contact but in order for the children to have been born they would have had 2 parents and each of those parents would have had 2 parents. Thats just how reproduction works,

I think this is why inheritances should go to children, not grandchildren. Children can then split as they see fit. Some of those grandchildren will get inheritances from other grandparents, some won't. Has that been factored in? Let's say a very wealthy siibling has three children, and very wealthy in-laws. Another sibling has one child and in-laws have nothing. See how that scenario might lead to an imbalance?

I'm going to guess she knew her daughter would react like this and didn’t want her to make her brother and sister feel guilty about the split

I would rather a parent takes the bull by the horn and let the kids know if he/she is going with a mom conventional or potentially controversial decision rather than take the cowardly approach of letting them find out after and cause rifts between the kids accusing each other.

She has made her decision and she stands by it and if DS wants to throw a strop and go NC that's her decision.

I was step child and at no point did it even ever occur to me to expect to inherit from my stepdad's parents.

It’s entirely up to your mum who she leaves any money to. To complain about it is to think you/your kids are entitled to it (obviously the “you” here is your sister)

This is going to get more and more common due to the increasing number of donor-conceived children. Ultimately, people need to accept that blood does matter to some grandparents.