Inheritance with grandchildren and step grandchildren

why would anyone want to tell someone else how to leave their money - your sister can make her own will and your mother makes her own choices

Yes. It’s like meddling in the sisters life after death. Pointing out that the children she obviously considers as important as her biological children are others and not really part of the family

That's how biology works.

Whether or not all four are present in the grandchildren's lives is another matter.

"...to leave thirds of her estate to each set of grandchildren"

Why would that be fairer in any way at all?

Suppose the grandmother leaves £90,000 and that there are three children and six grandchildren.

One child has three children, the next child has two children and the third child has only one child of their own.

If the grandmother leaves the money equally to the grandchildren then each grandchild will get £15,000. All perfectly fair.

Now, let's consider your idea of splitting the money by one third to each set of grandchildren.

Suppose the three grandchildren that are siblings are Amy, Ben and Charlie. The grandchild that is an only child is Timmy.

I can just imagine that conversation. "Well, sorry Amy, Ben and Charlie, but you only get to inherit £10,000 each from granny. Timmy gets some of your share and he will inherit £30,000 all by himself"

"Why is that? I don't really know why granny would give three times as much to Timmy as she gave to each of you. Perhaps she didn't love you as much as she loved Timmy?"

The grandmother has explained that:

"...has explained that as we are all settled and financially stable, she wants to help the younger ones who it will be harder for."

The grandmother has chosen to give some money to some people that are entirely unrelated to her rather than excluding them completely. There have been other threads on MN where the grandparent has chosen to exclude step-grandchildren entirely.

As other posters have said, these step children will also inherit through their biological father's family and their biological mother's family as well.

Such utter nonsense. My grandmother did this and it really really helped us grandchildren. Her kids/all the parents didn't mind. It is really unkind to attribute to nefarious motives that which can easily be explained by kindness.

Do the SC live with your sister, or did they before they grew up?

Don’t get this skipping generations thing. Presumably you will leave your estate to your children? Your mother should just divide equally between her children. After all, what if one of you got divorced? Remarried and had more kids or more stepkids? Also she needs to word her will carefully: if she doesn’t want to name the kids she needs to specify biological and step.

She knows the daughter will split it 4 ways equally and she is doing her will this way to stop that from happening.

Alternatively leave a letter with the will detailing the decisions made and why. Particularly useful if you have left out a potential beneficiary.

Wow.. If this was my mum I'd be disgusted with her and I'd tell her. People who care so much about what happens to their money after they have gone have got control issues IMO, she WANTS you all to know now, knowing full well it is going to cause issues with your sister feeling like some of her children as being treated as lesser beings.

Out of interest does she not like the step children? Because if what you posted above is actually true, that problem would be solved by leaving it nine ways instead of 7, no one would be getting 'less' then, completely fair all around for everyone.. so why not do that if she is so concerned about sisters kids having less than their cousins?..

100% she is doing this to make a point.

What is the situation of the SCs? Are they due to inherit from their bio mum and bio GPs?

Maybe she doesn’t trust her entitled daughter to pass anything onto her children?

I agree with the grandmother. Biological grandchildren will always come first .

So if there were no stepchildren your mum would have left it directly to her own children?

Wow! Leaving people in that situation is really shitty!

It's much better to have open discussions before writing Wills, so that there is no resentment & fighting left after the death.

A third to each child and they can divide between their own children. This will save any arguments going forward.

Of course they do. Parents of the mother, parents of the father. 4 people.

Also of course the child might not grow up with all four of those people in their life for whatever reason. My mum's dad died before I was born so I had 3 grandparents. Or the OP's sister's children do not see their paternal grandparents for some reason. But that does not mean that these people do not, or did not exist. It also does not mean that the OP's parents have to step in and fill the gap.

And this is why I’ve told no one who I’m leaving this to. They can moan and argue after I’m gone.

Your Mum has been unreasonable by not discussing this with her 3 children BEFORE updating her Will.

Whilst it's nice that your Mum has included the step grandchildren, it's very bloody hurtful to have written her own 3 children out.

In terms of your sister wanting her siblings to talk to your mum about this, I wouldn't. Your Mum doesn't want them to have an equal share and that's not an unreasonable thing. It's nice that she has included them at all, as it's not like she's included her own children.

This!

I was advised by a solicitor that this is the best thing to do. Perhaps leave a smallish, token amount to each grandchild but the bulk of the inheritance to AC. It’s then up to them what they do with it.

Your mum isn't being unreasonable at all..
They aren't her biological grandchildren..she doesn't have to leave them anything

I would be extremely hurt if my Mum did this.

I don’t agree with missing out children in favour of leaving legacies directly to grandchildren and I think your Mum is wrong to do this. Her legacy should be split equally amongst her own children.

Yes it’s only money and it’s a shame to hurt a young person and maybe cause problems within the family.

The only person being unreasonable is your sister. Keep staying out of it, let your grasping sister to stew and do not talk about it with your mum, who can do what she wants with HER money.