Inheritance with grandchildren and step grandchildren

@DogsInThePaddlingPool
Sorry last line of message should've read:-
You're all lucky your mum didn't spend it on wine, gigolos and song and waste the rest!

Your sister is being unreasonable.
You are not being unreasonable. You've taken the stance it's not your money and not your business.
Your mum isn't being unreasonable, she can do what she wants with her money.

I disagree with my mum and step dads inheritance plans. But it's not something I feel a particular sense of injustice about, and it's certainly not something I would request they reassess or change. It's not my money, not my decision and the reality is it may all get spent on care home fees down the line. I would just personally divide it differently if I was in their position.

How do you know she has done it to cause upset? You don’t know her or what she’s like as a person to make that assumption. How do you know she has given more to her biological grandchildren because they are from her bloodline (some people do care about that) and she’s given a smaller amount to the step children because she may know or think they will also inherit from another set of grandparents also?
Her reasoning for why she skipped her own children wasn’t because she wanted to spite anyone it was because they are all financially secure and wanted to help the grandchildren because they likely need it more.

I’ll do what I like with my money thanks. I don’t have children, or any family, to leave it to so anyone who does get anything can consider themselves lucky.

OP I feel for you. My parents did the same except that I had children and my brother did not. So when my parents passed,my brother got half plus their house and my kids got the other half. I got nothing. It is unfair but thats the way they wanted it so...

What I believe the PP was alluding to was that if an elderly parent, say in their late 80s or early 90s, left their estate to their children then those children would themselves be in their 60s at least.

It is likely that any of these children might then have an estate (from their own wealth plus their inheritance) on which IHT is due.

So there would be a second payout of IHT when the child dies a few years later.

In contrast, if the estate passes to the grandchildren instead then the amount passed to each grandchild will be smaller (presuming that there are more grandchildren than children) and there will be a much longer time period before the grandchildren pass away.

Sorry, but if step grandchildren have other family that they will inherit from - and her bio grandchildren obviously won’t - then the step grandchildren are hugely advantaged by receiving anything at all, surely? Because they will inherit via their own mother?

If that person is absent and there is no family, then maybe things will seem unfair but ultimately is it the GMs responsibility to address the inequities of the life decision of the sgc’s parent’s decisions? I mean, where does that stop?

The skipping a generation only works if they children are vvv secure financially really and not that many people are as divorce, bereavement can change things a lot.

Personally I would be happy for it to go straight to my children as would save me giving them house deposits etc so would even out really but not everyone is in that situation.

I get you don't want to tell her what to do, but how do you feel about it?

Skipping the generation to ensure certain grandchildren are left out would bother me in all honesty.

She’s clearly done it so your DS can’t split her shares between the DSC equally.

Its your DM’s choice; you are correct to stay out of it,

People who bring kids/marry someone with kids really need to sort this stuff in their own minds before the get together, instead of losing the plot at family members who are never consulted

@DogsInThePaddlingPool
Sorry slight correction to my message
Last line should read:-
You're all

Same goes for the grandchildren.

No, it's just what a decent parent would do.

A slap in the face? Is inheriting money from one’s parents a human right, then?

If your mum is set on skipping her children then I agree with how she’s done it, and I agree you should stay out of it.

I think your sister is out of order on many counts.

i think ideally it would be left to the 3 children and they then divvy up how they want. Or whatever the lower amount is that has been left to the step children, give the same amount to all grand children too then whatever is left split between the 3 children and they can divide up how they wish within their own family.

Yes, I would be disgusted that my mum chose that for her legacy, not born out of fairness or actually caring that children/grandchildren are treated equally within a family, but of exclusion and control to make sure some are purposely excluded.

My mum tried to treat one of my siblings differently in her will before she died, I understood why but I talked to her about it from a human point of view to say that the only one that would have problems is the ones left behind, she wouldn't see the hurt or resentment that decision would cause, I was the executor so knew it would be me being the bearer of bad news.. IMO at a time when siblings need to be close and pull together as a family, something like this can really blow them apart, forever sometimes.. My mum hadn't even thought about it.

OPs mum has not only thought about it, she has done it on purpose knowing it will cause upset.. skipping a generation only because you don't want your daughter to treat her kids equally is pretty ruthless to be honest.. but it is her decision at the end of the day.

Is it really worth it though?

A will is called a will for a very good reason. It is you expressing you will about what happens to your possessions after your death. Legally and socially we expect people to do this so I don’t think we should criticise anyone for wanting to determine what happens after their death. It isn’t being a control freak, it is good planning.
If I am still around when my gc reach young adulthood then I might decide to do the same and skip a generation (obviously apart from the third I need to leave to my children). We have helped our children financially already and I feel sorry for young people today as they face an uphill struggle.

What a slap in the face, skipping a generation. Hope she enjoyed her inheritance from her own parents.

Why do people tell their extended family to treat unrelated children, with whom they did not choose to have a relationship, as if they are related?

@DogsInThePaddlingPool
Its your mother's money, so she can do whatever she darn well likes!
Your sister is being unreasonable
And is she a great conversationalist anyway?
So tough titty to that
Youre all lucky your mum didn't waste it on wine, gigolos and song then waste the rest!!

Step children are not blood and will have relatives of their own possibly to received inheritance from . The other thing is the more people the money is split between the lesser value so between 7 it could be deposits on a home and 9 it could be just a second hand small car .

Yes?