DS lied to me about his A level results (and they're not good)

He'd probably be able to apply for a course with a foundation year (so 4 years in total). The first year would be a lot of support. Usually about 32 ucas points to get in.

Let's be honest, a DUE is not good; he might not have tried his best. HOWEVER, it is important to remember that A-Levels are not everything. There are other pathways. I don't know the specifics, but do a bit of research, and you'll be able to find something that works.

This seems like the time for him to really understand that there are consequences for not trying hard. He'll need to put a lot of effort in to get the best out of this.

If I were you, @willowfern, I'd not focus on the disparity between what your DS was predicted and what he achieved, but on trying to understand what's going on with him. For a student who was perceived to be so capable to bomb so spectacularly is a clear indication that something significant has happened to bring on such a change. You sound like a caring mother and I'm sure you will tread carefully in how you deal with your son. But this level of failure is not just a lack of sufficient revision or a loss of focus in the last stretch; it's an cry for help. I wish you, your entire family and your DS all the best in dealing with this.

Dd went to a 6th form that only gave parent eventing appointments to those who were an issue - either struggling academically or behaviourally. They'd have seen the subject teacher if they'd been expected to get a U, but not the others.

I thought this was really bad - you could easily have had a child heading for 3x Es and just got the feedback "they're doing well, no need for a parent meeting".
Any feedback round grades went directly to the child too, so no way of finding it there either.

Sorry, still find it bizarre a parent wouldn't know if there kid is up there at A* level or at DUE level. That's not nothing to do with revising in private or 'it coming from them'.

Are you sure that your eldest isn't winding you up? I doubt if he lied he's left the results just sat there!

I actually feel sorry for him
He must feel so devastated for him to have to lie
I wouldn’t even focus on the results I would focus on why he felt the need to lie
Just reassure him and make him know that you are there for him and that you have confidence that things will be ok

sidenote - why was his brother nosing around? . Someone who has lied about their results is unlikely to be leave said results somewhere easily accessible

Agree. Brother clearly wanted to check he had done better, so snooped. That's worse than lying about disappointing results.

Does the OP have to explain this?
The brother did it. She cannot explain it

I’d agree just ask him what he wants to do. Does he want to resit?

Poor chap must have been very embarrassed, if be getting him safely home and made aware you know and helping him through. Lies like this can feel insurmountable to a kid.

Sorry but this is not the case .
Dd2’s friend was offered a degree apprenticeship ( finance ) with predicted grades of BCC
Many degree apprenticeships are about potential rather than grades

It's mot that unlikely. Mine took themselves up to their rooms to revise, or revised in the 6th form centre at school. I could tell you how much time they said they were revising for but I didn't check what they were doing up there. By A levels it really has to come from them.

This. I'm really confused as to how you can't know in roundabout terms what he was likely to achieve.

for what it’s worth, he was very regretful, said he downs even know why he lied to his m, since she never puts pressure on him, but he told the dad first and then he continued with the lie.

other details were his parents were divorced and his dad lives far away and i seem to recall he’s a history teacher.

yes, i’ve gone back an he’s deleted it, the details are way too similar, i’m sure it was him.

If that Reddit post is the same son, I wonder if he found out about this thread here, because he's deleted it.

I think the pressing issue is that your son felt he needed to lie.

Oh I agree, that's the most likely scenario. But any responsible pastoral lead would also be curious about whether there might be something else at play. Even if just to rule it out. There are so many risks online and out in the community these days, I'd want to make sure he's not mixed up in something that has distracted him from his studies.

OP, i just read the same post from your son’s perspective on Reddit.

Everyone advised him to tell you the truth, seems like his dad has always been comparing him to his overachieving brother.

If their dad lives several hours away, the other POV is on Reddit (6th form forum).

In that particular post, the main point from the OP is they lied because they've continually being compared to their brother for their whole life.

Whether it is the same person or not, who knows? But either way, keep his brother out of it and ask why he felt he couldn't tell the truth and what he wants his next steps to be and what support he needs from you to make it happen.

This happened to me many many years ago. I got A,A,B in my mock exams for A levels (before the * came in), but come the exams a month or so later, I ended up with C, D and U.

In my case, it wasn't a lack of study, but panic and nerves, which meant I could barely remember my own name, I didn't finish a single written exam, and those grades took into account that for the practical part of each exam, I got in the 90s percentage wise. I did Biology (A>C), Chemistry(A>D) and Physics (B>U).
We were allowed our books on the table in each of the practical exams and psychologically this relaxed me as I knew I knew the answers, but the books gave me reassurance that I could check if needed (which I didn't).

We didn't have that for the written papers, and I just shut down, with vomiting and severe migraines.

The difference between the mock and actual exams is that I knew the mocks were just a practice run so I didn't feel any pressure when sitting them, whereas the real things were going to determine my entire future and that freaked me out big time and I couldn't cope.

@willowfern @Could this be the issue for your DS? Nerves rather than lack of effort?

On the upside he does not have a 'full level 3 qualification' so he will be funded if he wants to go to college or retake.

Did he actually want to go to uni or was he just on that conveyor belt?

He has options but what he needs now is support. Send his brother to visit a friend or relative, order DR'S favorite take away or take him out to dinner and as well as talk, listen.

Depends. If it’s purely because he did hardly any work, then as long as he’s prepared to knuckle down, he could benefit from retakes next year.

My dh failed all his A levels (maths and science) first time, purely because of, as he has freely admitted, too much partying.

It was a very good wake-up call. He spent a year at a FE college, got 3 As, followed by the degree he’d wanted, and has had a very successful career.

Fair point re the significant drop 🫶