Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unflip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 18 19

Original poster

AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

468 replies

Gettingmarried27eek · 14/08/2026 10:22

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

OP posts:

Harrysmummy246 · 14/08/2026 18:10

Gettingmarried27eek · 14/08/2026 15:00

So to clarify a few details:

The venue is a lovely country house hotel.

We are providing welcome drinks, wine at the tables, or soft for those who don't want alcohol.

Water is of course provided on the tables, still and sparkling.

There will also be champagne to toast.

Teas and coffees included too.

We have also requested no gifts.

The wedding is a Saturday so no one has to take the day off work.

We earn well between us but it's a relatively small wedding so nothing extravagant.

Think that's all the points that people have bought up 🙂

Edited

Yabu to assume nobody works on a Saturday or Sunday

TheWalkingEyebag · 14/08/2026 18:09

Seems very reasonable and more common these days. We chose to do a little meet in the middle - table wine, champagne toast, and two prepaid drink tokens each (house wine, beer, or a single mixer). We didn’t want an open bar because 1) it’s expensive, 2) people put their drink down and forget about it and just go back to the bar for another so it’s wasteful, and 3) we didn’t want everyone totally blackout 😂

Congratulations in advance! Have an amazing day!

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/08/2026 18:09

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:42

Why did that make the wedding shit?

Show quote history

Oh lots of reasons but largely the lack of generous hosting made it awkward and sort of killed the atmosphere when people are weighing up whether or not they want another £8 pint

Marieb19 · 14/08/2026 18:08

Perfectly reasonable

liveforsummer · 14/08/2026 18:05

Absolutely. Wine on the table is great but no need to do a free bar once that’s over

Scotiasdarling · 14/08/2026 18:00

YouSawBrigadoon · 14/08/2026 10:28

I’m going against the majority. I would assume a free bar. I don’t remember going to any weddings where you had to pay for drinks.

Me too! Just invite fewer people if you can't afford it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/08/2026 18:00

I think an open bar is very unusual these days. Unless you’re very wealthy as pps have said.

I think it’s also quite wasteful as whenever I’ve known of one, people have left drinks and not come back to them, but just ordered another later on.

MalteserGeezee · 14/08/2026 18:00

We supplied our own drinks at the venue so that we could provide a free bar (until it ran out anyway)

MyPeachScroller · 14/08/2026 17:59

I was kind of shocked by your question about the reception, but actually, if you provide a welcome drink perhaps, wine on the tables (for the dinner) and champagne to toast the couple works - as long as there is a bar that guests can purchase more from, if they'd like.
However, if you are having a destination wedding and people have travelled there (flights, trains, hotels, babysitters at home etc), I would go open bar.

LouiseK93 · 14/08/2026 17:59

My friend did a make your own cocktail station which was pretty cool. Cheap for her and free for the guests for a little bit.

Backedoffhackedoff · 14/08/2026 17:59

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:47

How much did the free bar cost you? Did you get a bill at the end of the evening? Were there restrictions on what could be ordered.

Show quote history

Honestly I’ve said a few times on this thread it’s not that expensive, mine was £800. It’s not about being rich

Backedoffhackedoff · 14/08/2026 17:57

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/08/2026 17:41

Well I guess that’s where you and me, alongside many others on this thread, will have to agree to disagree. Like I have already said - I have only ever been to one wedding that didn’t have free bar and it was shit

Show quote history

Whilst I don’t really care that much, I do think the narrative from couples that they “don’t want to pay for their friends to get drunk” or “people will take the piss” comes across as quite bitter and nasty. These are your closest people!

Oldmamabear · 14/08/2026 17:57

Perfectly reasonable. Guests will already have meals and wine provided, you shouldn't be expected to foot the bill for them getting tanked up too. People tend to drink more when someone else is paying...

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:56

MrsShawnHatosy · 14/08/2026 10:43

Could someone tell me how to get rid of unwanted gifs please!?

Show quote history

😂 It’s saying hello but refuses to say goodbye!!

ClairDeLaLune · 14/08/2026 17:55

MrsShawnHatosy · 14/08/2026 10:41

Deleted to get rid of unwanted gif.

Edited

Show quote history

😂 It’s still there! Leave it, it’s funny! Advise against a free bar or they’ll be dancing on the ceiling at OP’s wedding 🤣🤣

Lollylucyclark101 · 14/08/2026 17:55

Gettingmarried27eek · 14/08/2026 10:22

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

Got married in 2024

we didn’t have a “free bar”. Nobody expected it either. All depends on your budget. But no, your NTAH.

Peonies12 · 14/08/2026 17:54

Absolutely won’t be expected. The only wedding i went to with a free bar was in a field where they bought many bottles of wine from Aldi! We put some money behind the bar at our wedding but only enough for 1 drink per guest

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:53

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/08/2026 16:23

Some people’s parents love them and want to give them things?

Show quote history

That sounds a very privileged viewpoint. Do you think poorer parents don’t love their children as much as the rich ones?

manpretty · 14/08/2026 17:52

Well your budget should determine exactly what you can afford and if your friends truly understand they will not have a problem with that.

ForPlumReader · 14/08/2026 17:52

Pedaling · 14/08/2026 10:29

Really? You must have some incredibly wealthy friends.

Show quote history

Depends on what kind of wedding they are paying for. I had friends who had a meal in a restaurant for 12 people then bowling club with buffet and free bar in the evening. Far cheaper than most other weddings that I've been to.

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:51

I drink so little paying for my drinks would probably come to no more than about £20 for the entire evening. I think it must only really bother people who want to get their ‘money’s worth’ out of a free bar.

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:47

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/08/2026 17:16

I think I have replied to you twice already to say that the point is moot because we were preciously looking at hosting a lower key wedding paid for all by ourselves WITH A FREE BAR

Show quote history

How much did the free bar cost you? Did you get a bill at the end of the evening? Were there restrictions on what could be ordered.

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:44

Backedoffhackedoff · 14/08/2026 17:32

A paid bar is when guests pay, so it’s 2 ways of saying the same thing

Show quote history

Ah ok thanks.

BunnyLake · 14/08/2026 17:42

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/08/2026 17:41

Show quote history

Why did that make the wedding shit?

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/08/2026 17:41

JustGiveMeReason · 14/08/2026 17:38

But they CAN afford to host the event.

In the overwhelming majority of the UK, 'hosting' means providing the venue, food and entertainment, not buying everyone's drinks for the whole night.

Show quote history

Unflip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 18 19

Swipe left for the next trending thread