AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

A free bar would be a bit lost on us as we don't drink much. As long as there's plenty of food I'd be ok!

I’ve never been to a wedding where you had to pay for drinks either?

reminds me of that scene in Gavin & Stacey where Nessa (Ruth jones) greet her guests and says order what you like but pay for it at the bar 😂

I have an American friend who says all American weddings are a free bar. Is it a culture difference. Where we live in Ireland a free bar would bankrupt who ever was paying for it😂

Ive been to weddings where everyone has X drinks tokens for a limited range of drinks eg certain wine, soft drinks beer but not cocktails or expensive wines

That can work well, especially if you have buffet or unallocated seating.

We had a free bar with no limits! I don’t drink but I wanted our guests to not have to think about paying

to add- we had no drama at all and everyone was very well behaved!

I got married 35 years ago and my parents paid for the bar so yes we did have a free bar.

If I were getting married now I'd pay for soft drinks only so the children and drivers were catered for but anyone who wanted alcohol would need to pay for themselves.

What we did have which was remarked on was a water boiler and tea and coffee so people could make a hot drink.

I think wine, beer and soft drinks need to be free and flowing and then you can have a paid bar for spirits. I have only ever been to one wedding where we’ve had to pay for drinks side from welcome and toast. There has always been free flowing fizz at the reception followed by wine and beer.

My first wedding we provided a free bar. My second wedding we put £2000 behind the bar and when it was gone the guests bought their own.

The only weddings I’ve been to with an open bar are in Greece, where booze is much much cheaper.
At a UK wedding I’d only expect to have a welcome drink, a toast, and a glass of wine with dinner.
I'm getting married in winter and that’s what we’ll be providing. You could offer one free drink with a drinks token if you had the extra budget.

Sounds like a good idea.

Urgh sorry selected the wrong option- voted u r being unreasonable by accident.

Only paid bar weddings I went to involved people taking the pee and getting off their faces then fighting or doing something stupid. Another wedding had an amount put behind the bar and my gran had one small glass while greedy uncles family had a table full of beers and wines. It brings out the worst in people. sparkling wine,or orange juice is fine and if you or your new hubby wishes to buy someone a drink then do so x

It’s entirely up to you. We have wine & cocktails on tables plus a couple of kegs of our favourite beer/cider but once they were finished people bought their own. I definitely wouldn’t expect a free bar at a wedding.

Have a lovely day - sounds like a great chilled wedding!

You could for eg. offer a free bar but say once the tab gets to eg. 1000GBP, paying kicks in

I’ve only been to weddings with a free bar but honestly would rather pay and the couple could save some money

How many pints did they want? 5 pints at £8 a pop wouldn’t break the bank for a guest in your privileged circles.

I’ve only ever been to one wedding with a free bar and that was just for daytime guests (of which there were around 30). Once the evening reception started the bar reverted to a paid one.

Yes perfectly reasonable

I've been to weddings with a free bar, but I think it's generally not expected.

Wedding receptions vary from pub buffets to formal dinners.

If in a hotel or similar, you get packages per person usually a complimentary glass of fizz when you arrive, and wines at the meal (they either allocated a bottle or two or three per table, or waiter service, and the package allocates a set amount per person), and some more fizz for the toast.

As a guest, I don't mind either way. As mentioned, there's usually enough alcohol with the meal anyway, and wouldn't want to drink too much more. Maybe one or two during the evening, which I'm happy to pay for.

Furthermore, the behaviour of people around a free bar would depend on the type of company you're inviting. There's going to be certain types of people who would take advantage of a free bar and attempt to drink it dry. The same people you see in airport lounges usually pay-as-you-enter ones with a self serving bar.

How is it odd. I recently went to a birthday celebration and paid for my own drinks. It was a small do and it didn’t occur to me that my friend should stump up for the drinks at the bar. In fact I bought her a drink because it was a birthday!

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar! Most have provided wine on tables and / or arrival / toast drinks but never completely free bar. Am amazed at those who expect it. We clearly move in very different circles! And think it's very sad some people think you should invite less guests just so you can afford for the ones you go have to get pissed at your expense! that's odd priorities unless you actually want a small wedding. I know you should provide refreshments as a host, which the OP is, but that doesn't usually mean the guests being able to have unlimited amounts of whatever they like.

YANBU, especially if most guests are local to the venue. We had a free bar at ours but lots of people had travelled and were staying over somewhere. Also was quite a small wedding so not as expensive as you'd think. People just stop. Well some people didn't stop, one was found crashed out in the corridor of a hotel at 6am, but all was fun!

We said first drink and champagne for toasts (small weddings) but inlaws kindly insisted, no one took the p though!