AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

I’m at a wedding party right now and the bar is not free. It’s expected and no problem!

We asked them to tell us when it hit £1k and we would make a decision whether to carry on or start charging. Obviously we never got to that point.

Well some on here certainly do!

Did they give you the bill at the end or did you already know approx how much it would be? Suppose it had been £2k would that have shocked you and affect your honeymoon spending budget?

I've never been to one with a free bar, nor would I expect it. I've been to a couple of weddings where one of the parents of bride or groom (or both) will have a free drink for everyone or a set amount behind the bar for a couple of drinks. Usually this is for standard drinks too so no cocktails etc.
Also been to a few where instead of favours you got a little drink token which was nice...again no cocktails!

I’ve always been to free bar weddings and big birthday parties. But you do what suits you and your budget. It’s your wedding.

I honestly dont think ppl expect a free bar..

We put a fixed amount behind the bar - a very very generous amount - and people took the piss. Doubles of really premium spirits at £20 a double back to back, champagne etc. My FIL had to add another grand to avoid embarrassing us. I’d put money behind but tell staff not to serve luxury drinks, loads of wine on tables, then cash bar when it runs out.

We've been to weddings with a free bar and also weddings with a paid bar. Paid bars are a lot more usual nowadays I think.
I would give a drink on arrival, another after wedding
ceremony as usually a gap whilst evening bit is set up or for photos. then soft drinks and wine for meal, and a drink for toasts., then teas and coffees after meal. If you have separate evening guests id give them a drink on arrival too, anything else is paid for

it's not an insignificant sum, say 120 guests, assume 75% getting on it, say 5 each, in a hotel at £10-15 a drink, your in for £6-7k.

150-200 a head at the venue, that's £30k.

cake, photography, flowers, entertainment

crap that's £50k and you haven't got the dress yet!

The last two weddings I’ve been to had free bars. Not especially wealthy families either.

We had one, but only because my whole side of the family had to travel a ridiculously long way and it would have been poor form to expect them to pay for more than it already cost them. If we'd married in the UK we definitely wouldn't have had a free bar, it's not at all the norm for most weddings.

Ex hospo worker here, we used to suggest at wedding functions a drink subsidy not free because you will get the tossers who will triple up while the free stuff flows…

It's incredibly tacky to attend an event and expect to be fed and drink provided free. Would you go to a birthday party and expect a free bar? If you are too cheap to buy your own refreshments, politely decline. As others have said, it's an invite not a summons

A free bar is an unusual treat not an expectation (for UK weddings) if you're not from the UK then I think paid bars are more common in other cultures. We did one because it wasn't really a bar it was a byob type vibe in a barn, so we just bought enough for everyone - but nobody expected that.
My big request as a wedding guest regular is to check bar prices at venues before picking one - some of them are absolute robbers and it always annoys me after paying for a gift, outfit, acconodation and transport to then pay £12 (I shit you not) for a single g and t

A free bar at a Scottish wedding would bankrupt the couple 😂

We got married 2 weeks ago and we did have a "free" bar but only because we're in our 60's and certainly won't ever do this again! Nobody expected it, infact most people had their cards ready to pay and were happy to but our friends we've known for many many years and wanted them to join in with our celebrations. In answer to your question, no, I don't think you need a free bar. You could just do the first drink free for evening guests if you felt you wanted to do a little something but I'm not sure how you would enforce that. Good luck with your big day and just enjoy x

Nope, people will go get a drink put it down half empty forget where they put it and just go get more. Your wedding day will be super expensive anyway so put it towards YOUR honeymoon. The day is about your happiness and not other peoples. Enjoy

That’s perfectly reasonable, congratulations and enjoy every minute of your day x

Nope, people will go get a drink put it down half empty forget where they put it and just go get more. Your wedding day will be super expensive anyway so put it towards YOUR honeymoon. The day is about your happiness and not other peoples. Enjoy

We had a free bar - got married a fair trek away so it seemed the right thing to do for our guests. They did a grand job of drinking it practically dry.

Definitely ok not to have a free bar OP. If you have folks staying it might be nice to stick a few quid behind the bar for those to have a nightcap after the formal party is over but by no means required.

We had a free bar at ours (beer and wine, including sparkling only, no spirits) but only because a) lots of guests had to travel, b) we could afford it and c) we had it in a part of the country that we considered to be excellent value for money. All these points are somewhat linked and we probably still spent less than if we’d got married near where we live.

The only other wedding I’ve been to with a free bar was in the US.

Totally reasonable, although one issue which I'd never complain about but since you've asked: I'm tea-total for health reasons, I'm happy to buy my own drinks, but it does piss me off when the alcohol drinkers get free wine with the meal, and free champagne for the toast, but I have to buy everything that isn't water! Especially given a couple of glasses of coke or juice or even a nice non-alcoholic wine, would probably be cheaper than one glass of wine! Please have something non-acholic on the tables too!

I’ve never been to a wedding with a paid bar! But, if the budget doesn’t stretch that far, so be it. Alcohol isn’t necessary to celebrate a bridge and a groom!