AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

Do stop shouting please.

YOU ASKED ME. YOU QUOTED MY POST AND ASKED ME A QUESTION. I HAVENT ASKED YOU ANYTHING

And so are you! I don’t keep tabs on who asked me what but it appears you do. I don’t put that much importance on my posts that I expect responses to them.

You havent understood. You asked ME a question about my free bar. I took the time to respond with the information you asked for which you ignored and continued to state the very thing I had answered to the contrary over and over.

youre not obliged to do anything. You’re being extremely rude though.

My MIL is an alcoholic so we didn't pay for any alcohol for our wedding! I think we paid for cups of tea too go with the afternoon teas we'd provided...

Why the heck should I when that poster is complaing that I didn’t respond to her post. Is there an obligation to respond to people’s posts. Are you her twin or something? There’s some right cheeky mares on here, rolling your eyes at me!

Oh I see it’s you!! You think it’s my job to search out your post because you’re whining I ignored it!! I should have known it was you!

And what the fuck do you mean by ‘more’ work. The only work here is you and you’re hard work!

I’m old and been to lots of weddings. Never been to one with a free bar.

People take the mickey when something is free in my experience. My friend provided a selection of free drinks including soft drinks, before we sat down,, as well as champagne. There was alcohol/ soft drinks on the table, then we bought our own. There were only 60 ish guests . It was a beautiful venue

Just take a look through the thread rather than expect others to do more work for you 🙄

I have been to both. I had a free bar but I think its not so common now. I have been to weddings with very little food or big gaps with a bar, and its never pretty. People drinking on empty stomachs all day can get messy.Make sure you feed people well and have the welcome drink. Wine on tables tea and coffe. People very rarely complain if well fed. I think its perfectly ok to have a paying bar. Unless you asked for eyewateringly expensive gifts or cash.

I think don't post any photos is reasonable.
We didn't have this rule but I can understand a couple wanting.to be the first to share the news they had got married.

Id have been furious if someone had announced my pregnancy or engagement on social media, for example. I don't mind with events and think it's quite flattering.

People don't have to attend hen dos or weddings. I think standard rules are those attending hens/stags split some of the costs for bridge and groom, whether that's accommodation, activities, meals.
Costs have got ridiculous going on week-long holidays and the like. That said I've mostly been to ones where's it's been a day and evening, occasionally staying over somewhere cheap to avoid travelling home after.

I think brides should in turn foot the bill for everything wedding party needs on the day: accommodation, dresses, hair and makeup, transport. I know some brides demand bridesmaid wear particular dresses and expect the bridesmaid to pay for it themselves!

I’m with you on this. It is such an alien concept to me culturally to have guests pay so we often choose venues where we can provide our own drinks/alcohol, but if this is the norm for others then I guess it’s not a problem.

I’ve never attended a wedding with a free bar .

A friend of mine actually went to a wedding a few weeks back , her husband’s cousin .
There was a free bar & a couple of guests got hammered, 1 made a show of himself infact .
Some people just get carried away & drink too much , whereas they maybe not be at the bar so much if they’re paying themselves !!!

I think an evening free bar is not now expected. Previously the event was a celebration for close friends or a bit if a party afterwards rather than a tiktok event. Times change.

However, i think that if people have spent the equivalent of a holiday - travel, hotel and present to just attend, then giving them a glass of prosecco and no wine with the meal is, frankly, rude.

I do events alot are weddings some are on tab some are not it's personal preference at the end of the day.

I would just do what you plan to do and enjoy your day.

I work in hospitality in northern Ireland and have probably worked at over 100 weddings and have never seen a free bar. A bottle of white and red wine at the table then tea/ coffee after the meal and a glass of champagne for the speeches or as a welcome drink seems to be the norm. Although these are getting less common due to the price of everything.

It was a few years ago now but we had wine on the table and then gave each guest 2 (or it may have been 3) vouchers as a “wedding favour” on the table to exchange at the bar for a drink. So they did have some on us but it wasn’t totally open! My guests appreciated the gesture :-) Our wedding party had an open voucher though so they had drinks on us all night!

I have never been to a Wedding without a free bar in 70 years . Most of them though have had a time limit of around 10.30pm . I am in Australia .

I got married years ago but had bottles of wine and fresh fruit juice on tables, champagne for the toast (we did a booze cruise to France to collect it) and bought the first drink for guests. After that guests bought their own drinks. We did have large jugs of fruit juice set out on the table with evening buffet.

Same here, except I can’t stand the stuff!

@123teenagerfood bloody hell to both of those examples.

My wedding cost £10k 15 years ago and that was only because my grandmother got daft about a sit down meal so decided to pay the extra (we’re going to have a very nice served buffet). £3000 was dress, venue hire, rings, flowers and decor. The rest was food and drink.

No one remembers place cards were done with my dymo, they remember there being loads of food and drink, good music, and no pissing about for hours waiting for photos.

Late to the thread. Have read all your updates. All sounds very sensible and normal to me. One thing we did at our wedding was set a limited amount bar tab and nominate a few people from the wedding party (me, dh, my brother in think) who could use it, so if that they could order drinks for anyone we thought might not want to/afford to/be mobile enough to order their own drinks at the bar. It wasn't all used even, but the option was there,, if I was talking to someone and noticed they didnt have a drink but usually do, i could just quickly and quietly say to staff , please bring a sherry over to aunty at that table and move on without messing around paying etc.

Terribly sorry my dear, I don’t remember your post. Which one is it?

I guess it varies. Drinks have always been generous at weddings I’ve attended (Ireland), and I’ve luckily never had your experience with the wine, but open bars are not expected

Most of the weddings I have attended have free bars. Just don't do what my SIL did and have free drinks, but only for certain drinks and not tell the quests. Near the end of the meal people found out, but then we had to change venues for the evening party. The next day SIL was amazed how little of the free alcohol was not drunk. Worst wedding ever, if you scrimp on a wedding it shows. Have a modest wedding which is more enjoyable rather than pretending to have a fancy wedding on a poor budget. Another wedding i attended was a colleague, she could not afford a sit down meal, so timed the wedding accordingly, did not inform quests and it was in the middle of nowhere. They served bacon sandwiches at about 9pm. People had started to leave as there were no food options other than crisps and nuts from the bar.