AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

I can’t remember the last free bar wedding I went to! Mostly wine and beer at tables, fizz for toasts then paid bars… a free bar can costs thousands.
My sister DID have a free bar - bill was £7k on top of the table wine etc but in our culture guests give £ in the wedding cards so it paid for the bar costs in the end.

Going against the majority here in saying that if you can afford a free bar, you should have a free bar. But if you can’t afford it, it’s not a big deal. I think it’s tacky when weddings are clearly expensive (venue, dress, etc) and have a paid-for bar.

We did a free bar, but we chose a "destination" wedding in the sense that our friends and family lived in the four corners of the country so we had it centrally to split the travel for everyone.

I don't like it when hosts are lavish with stuff for themselves but stingy for guests (think, ornate flowers, multiple musicians but only one bottle of wine for a table of eight), but a paid bar is fine for a standard local wedding.

No one reasonable in the UK expects a free bar, I have never been to a wedding with a free bar. But do consider drink tokens as an alternative to wine because not everyone that would like alcoholic will drink wine and its pretty basic to just offer wine.

So gross and greedy LeedsLoiner

That's fine. A welcome drink / tea/ coffee , wine / cordial at table & champagne for the toast is plenty. At some of the weddings I have been to (including family weddings), both the fathers of the bride and the groom bought a drink for everyone, after the meals were finished. That was very nice of them.

Actually, now I think of it we didn’t offer spirits, just beer, cider, wine, bubbly etc. The invitation advised people to bring their own if they wanted them.

I have been to one wedding with a free bar...back in 1984 when my brother got married as he in married into a wealthy family and his in laws footed the bill.

I don't mix in wealthy circles though.

Normal, we had free wine, fizz and sorft drinks with dinner and a lot of that lasted for those drinking wine, people went to the bar foe
beers and spirits etc

Good idea.

Just have copious quantities of beer and wine available.
No bar necessary. If people want spirits, tell them to bring a hip flask for later.

There’s no norm. I’ve been to a wedding with no included drinks at all (except a shot of tequila as a toast) and a few where it’s been a fully open bar and everything in between. We went for the mid ground and included beer, wine, fizz, soft drinks (like you’d probably do if hosting at home) but then anyone who wanted spirits could buy them. OP your plan sounds fine so long as it’s not a cash only bar that doesn’t take card and you haven’t told anyone… been caught out by that before at a rural wedding and that’s the only time I’ve ever been annoyed!

I have been to too many weddings to expect a free bar, but it is a nice touch.

We decided that we wanted to offer our guests a free bar after leaving several weddings feeling massively ripped off by the inflated bar prices.

I would like to add that despite the free bar, we had absolutely no issues with drunkenness or bad behaviour.

Conversely we used to have a works Christmas event with a free bar all night and one year they changed it to "free bar up until 11.00 p.m." and a lot more people got drunk than at the events with a free bar all night, presumably they were drinking a lot quicker to get as many free drinks as possible.
There was also a massive amount of wastage from around 10.00 p.m. people we getting in massive orders to keep them on the tables for later and then never drank them.
There was also an issue for the venue, it had automated tills that switched to "pay bar" at exactly 11.00 p.m. and people who were partially through their last drinks order were told they had to pay and a lot of them (the venue was in the City of London and drinks were expensive) just said "don't bother" and left the already poured drinks on the bar !!

I've been to a lot of weddings, and my experience of free bars has very much depended on who was having the wedding, from an ethnic viewpoint.

White British: with a couple of exceptions, cash bar
Irish: with a couple of exceptions, free bar
POC: with one exception, free bar
Destination weddings (any ethnicity) - all free bar

We had a free bar at our wedding, but it was in my parent's garden, so we'd bought loads of wine, beer, etc, so weren't paying inflated venue prices. I'd never expect a free bar (that's not what I'm there for), but it has tended to be the case for those with a bit more money available.

It's quite nice to have the champagne being topped up before everyone sits down and are mingling, then wine/beer/soft drinks on the table, and fizz for the toast, that in itself would be generous.

i have never been to a wedding where there is a “free bar” or indeed where guests are paying for their own drinks. I thought the usual thing is to provide wine, soft drinks and perhaps beer.

I think wine on the table is fine, make sure the bar charges reasonable prices, nobody wants to go away thinking they got ripped off at a wedding.

Lucky you Dragonscaledaisy.

were getting married. Reception is in a lovely pub - we aren’t doing drinks as we simply don’t have the budget for it.

Sadly, there are way too many CF these days, even within families, who will be necking alcohol like it's going out of fashion, just because it's free. You could end up with a bill for thousands of pounds if you have a free bar. Even putting a set amount behind the bar is risky, because the first to the bar could order triple scotches or several drinks to last the evening, leaving later people with nothing.

We had wine at the table and then a cash bar

Where I am from you are begging for trouble if you offer a free bar. Nearly all the weddings I have been to have been wine and beer provided only. Sometimes a speciality cocktail or two. Often champagne for toasts.

Free bar is normal for me, all the (40+) weddings I've been to have been a free bar. BUT I do not think it is an issue as long as people are aware (and so can plan their spending).

We had a free bar thanks to the generosity of my father-in-law, but I don’t think it’s generally expected and I’m happy to pay my own way. That said, a lot of people, many years since, still comment positively on the free bar, and people do spend a lot to attend a wedding, so if I could afford it, I would consider it (certainly up to a limit).