AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

Not expected

I’ve not been to a free bar at a wedding since about 1992

It might be a generational.thing. Most weddings I've been to have had a free bar, I'm late 60s and by no means from a rich background. It was something you saved up for.

We paid for an open bar for our son's wedding. I have rarely attended a wedding which did not have one. We considered having tokens, but it felt a bit tacky!! Our son's future MIL was against it, saying people would abuse the situation, but we found it to be the opposite.

Attended many, many weddings over the years and have also waited on hundreds probably. Only one I attended as a guest hada free bar. Some have first drink free and others have a welcome drink only and wine for the toast
As a hotel waitress, free bars were more common in the 90s and rare nowadays (still do the odd part time shift in summer) - It’s not necessary or expected.

I’ve never been to a wedding that’s had a free bar and wouldn’t expect it. I’ve been to 2 that there was wine on arrival at the reception. But I never had any just because I don’t like white wine and it’s not a good idea to mix alcoholic drinks anyway. There will always be a few that will take the absolute piss and get far to drunk so no I wouldn’t put one on.

No need to provide a free bar unless you were having a very very small number of guests.

I think it's fairly standard to have a tab behind the bar then once it runs out people pay for their own. It means that the people who don't drink wine aren't disadvantaged

DC2 is getting married next summer and they have chosen a venue rather than a hotel so will buy all the meal drinks and the catering company will serve it, so will be cheaper for them i think.

I absolutely don’t expect a free bar, but at the same time I’ve been to weddings in expensive hotels where the drinks prices are ridiculous. That’s the bit I’d consider. I’d choose a venue where bar prices are not inflated because it’s a wedding.

I've never been to a free bar wedding!

Most weddings I’ve been to have had a free bar, we’ve always been prepared to pay though, would never expect it. The last wedding we went to the b&g had put money behind the bar and at about 10:30 it ran out, the mother of the bride then put more money in and the free drinks continued.

Agree with this. I had my wedding abroad and was only small 28 guests so no one paid for drinks on the day. If I was having a lot bigger do in the UK I’d probably pay for the first drink after the wedding breakfast and then up to an amount at the bar after then when it’s run out people pay.

I do like a drink and not having an open bar wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But I would say that you just need to be clear on what is and isn't included.

I went to a wedding a few years ago, no wine on the table, so went to buy a bottle for 5 of us to share. Was told that wine was coming round. We were poured a small glass and then no more - which is fine, but if we'd known we would have brought the bottle anyway as we all wanted a bit more than a small glass during our meal.
Just ended up being a little awkward knowing what was included and what we were covering.

Oh and because we bought it all in advance from majestic there was no taking the piss - it all needed be to drink so didn’t matter if people were having lots!

This is why I didnt have a wedding in a hotel though - didn’t want to pay overinflated ££ for drinks.

I do agree with this. We hired a venue so could get all the booze at cost from majestic but many guests were travelling and paying for overnight stay so I didn’t want them to incur any other costs.

We then saved money on the photographer, no favours, no wedding cake (brownies instead) decorated it all ourselves, chose a cheaper venue etc. A free bar was important to me.

However I don’t think it’s standard in this country. You should provide a welcome drink, wine on the table and a glass of champagne for toasts. I do like the idea of drinks tokens and again I’d cut cost somewhere else if possible to do that.

I wouldnt do a free bar. I guess though it depends on the people coming. I have relatives who fancy themselves as wine experts and would start ordering all sorts of expensive bottles.

A friend of mine had a christening for their child and their rugby playing friends cleared the food and the bar so that when she finally went to have something to eat it has all been scoffed. People were literally piling their plates with food and going back for seconds even though there were still people waiting to have something.

And no, she really really isnt the sort of person who wouldnt be stingy with food. She did underestimate how young men in particular just have no filter regarding free food.

I’m Irish and have never attended a wedding with a free bar.

There is a drinks reception on arrival, wine served generously with the meal, and usually a toast provided for the speeches (fizz or drink of choice)…but you almost always need to pay for any extra drinks from the bar after that.

Obviously it depends on your social circle, but overall a free bar at an Irish wedding is rare. Google tells me 3% of Irish people, when surveyed, said there should be a free bar at a wedding. It’s really uncommon and definitely not an ethnic thing as you suggest…probably a ‘rich’ thing 😉

Yes

It's awful when you're driving and it's a really long day and it's hot and not even the soft drink for free we could do two per person or something that would help

I am 55 and never had a free bar at a wedding! Wine/ beer/water/soft drink for the meal and toast definitely but after that people are on their own, my Dd didn't have a free bar at her recent wedding

Fine OP. Just make sure there is the usual bubbles on arrival, decent amount of wine on the tables and more bubbles for the toast.

I would also add bar prices to your venue selection criteria, and bar size/serving capacity.

If it is unreasonably expensive and time consuming to buy a drink guests often give up and it ends up a bit of a damp squib. I'm not talking Wetherspoons prices, but if it is £8+ for a pint, and they have to queue for 15 minutes for the privilege, your guests will remark on it.

We didn’t both with the tat, sweets, Photo Booth type stuff, we figured they would prefer a drink or 3. Only issue is one of the nieces got very drunk and had to be taken home by her mum, she’s still being reminded 2 years on!

This is what I don’t get I would treat the guests go what they want every time over crap gifts and favours, tacky signs and baskets of flip flops although tbh I imagine that stuff is as cheap as it looks so maybe not in the same price range as a free bar.

I’d never expect a free bar, of courses it’s a happy bonus but I wouldn’t be disappointed/ annoyed at all. Cost of living is going up, weddings are expensive enough!

Wine on tables and a champagne toast is perfect

“No bar necessary. If people want spirits, tell them to bring a hip flask for later.”

bloody hell it’s a wedding not a camping trip. Would I bugger be swigging from a hip flask like a 15 year old in the park 😭