AIBU to not provide a free bar at our wedding?

Free bar is a recipe for disaster as any CFs will take full advantage and there will be someone who can't drink to excess without vomit and/or tears/fighting/arguments involved

Our UK wedding finished at 2am with a free bar from 3pm the previous day.

If you are lucky! I have been to a couple where they provided a breakfast at 6am as all the guests were still up!

Irish weddings finish at 2pm ?

I think another thing to consider is what time weddings generally finish up where you are OP.
I’m Irish and the general finishing up time is about 2am, with some moving to the hotel’s residents’ bar for a couple of hours afterwards. (The ceremony itself generally will have taken place about 2pm the previous afternoon.)
I’ve heard weddings finish earlier elsewhere though.

What you are proposing sounds perfectly reasonable.

Expectations can do one 👍

We had a small wedding and provided a crate each of red and white. Thereafter everyone just bought what they wanted.

YANBU. I didn’t allow any alcohol at our wedding because we don’t drink it and I don’t personally believe anyone should as I think it should be illegal.

So there was no way I was going to paying for people to drink. We had nothing but compliments about how much they loved the wedding, so clearly people can enjoy themselves without it.

i had a free bar at my wedding and it is expected the bar will be free in the circles I move in

Oh yes we also did this a welcome drink to evening guests.

On my own wedding many moons ago we were bullied into free bar by certain family members, they run a huge bill, refused to pay.
We didn't want free bar as could not afford it, however this part of family insisted so we had to
for them..
It still causes arguments years later, when 90% people had no free bar and paid apart from those who refused to.

Absolutely wouldn’t expect it and I don’t think it’s the norm for most people. Most weddings have a drinks reception before dinner and wine on the table and a toast paid for by the couple followed by a cash bar (also for anyone who doesn’t want wine with dinner).

We had quite a posh country wedding but it was cash bar in the evening. I am no fool. I know how much our families would have drunk if we were paying for it. Even when THEY were paying, it was ridiculous. Dh’s cousins went back to the hotel opposite the venue after the wedding and bought a bottle of scotch from the bar at shot prices. It ended up costing like £200 for the bottle. They didn’t care. No way we were paying for that foolishness.

I’ve only been to open-bar weddings except one and if I’m being honest I resented paying for a lemonade when we’d spent a huge amount to attend the wedding. Obviously not the cost of it but the principle – if I’m hosting, it’s on me. However, I don’t think it’s the norm to have a completely free bar now. Could you buy everyone one drink from the bar with tokens or similar? I would cut costs elsewhere to buy everyone a drink when they’ve come to celebrate with you.

At least the welcome drink should be free- the best way of handling this that I have seen is putting a set amount of money behind the bar and when it is gone everybody pays.

I wouldn't expect a free bar and wouldn’t worry about providing one. You may want to offer a free drink to any evening guests though if you have them. I did a pay bar and felt bad that evening guests didn’t get a drink on us (my ex had a lot of friends so we did have evening extras).

We had a free bar at our wedding but the bar staff helpfully advised to just make long drinks free - so beer, wine, cider, gin and tonic were fine, but not shots, otherwise our budget was going to be taken up by people doing Jägerbombs. I think that was fair - paying for people to have a couple of drinks but not for them to get pissed.

Have been to so many weddings and don't think there was ever a completely free bar. 1/2 bottle wine per person on the table, plus sparkling for toasts. Sometimes they have paid for the first drink or two per person, but not free bar all night.

I wouldn’t dream of not having a free bar. I have only been to one wedding where guests were expected to pay for drinks. However it’s perfectly normal for that to be limited to wine beer and singles with no shots and no fancy whiskies.

I'm Irish and always get told that the Irish have free bars at their weddings but I have never been to one and didn't have one at mine (2000). Nor did my friends and when we floated the idea of having one (we didn't want to look mean) everyone said, do not do it, only leads to trouble. We provided a welcome drink, put lots of wine on the tables and soft drinks and bought people any drink they liked for the toast (friends who were recently married found a lot of people didn't like champagne and it got wasted). Any friends coming in the evening were bought their first drinks but there was only a couple that came in the evening as they couldn't make the day. It was a small wedding, only 40 people. We kept our wedding local and tried to make it as cheap as possible for our guests to attend. TBH, I think more couples getting married would be better off considering what their day is costing their guests to attend and be a bit more considerate, rather than offering a free bar. A free bar is not much consolation if you are expected to pay a fortune on accommodation because the bride wants to get married in a castle in the middle of nowhere!

We did a free bar and we're not extremely wealthy not wealthy. We had a lot of overseas guests. We didn't announce it was a free bar at any point (I think that is the key). We provided wine/prosecco at the tables plus a welcome drink and that lasted a long time. We set a £1500 limit for the bar, no doubles, cocktails or shots and we still struggled to hit that by closing time. Clearly it depends on your budget and the crowd you have but I think if you announce it's a free bar then people will go for it whereas if you just set a limit (and don't publicise that either!) then people are more respectful.

I would never expect a free bar. What I do really appreciate are non-alcoholic alternatives to wine that are a bit more interesting than water and luke warm orange juice

Almost all of the weddings I have been to have had a free bar. When I got married we didn’t have a free bar. We had a drinks reception (fizz plain/with sloe gin/with marmalade vodka), then we had wine at the table (so much there were bottles left over), then a tab at the bar. We also provided a keg and a small tab on the Friday. We paid for guest accommodation and I preferred to do that rather than supply endless alcohol. The free bar weddings were messy…

We had a tab at our wedding because not everyone drinks wine but it was just at the meal.

We did a kind of hybrid. All the drinks up to the end of the meal were provided. So pimms, beers etc on arrival. Then all champagne and wine at the table and after dinner coffees etc.

Then in the evening everyone bought their own drinks.

Most weddings I have been to have been the same. I think the only ones I’ve been to where there was a free bar was where the wedding reception has been in a family member’s garden with a marquee etc.