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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you sponsor people for charity?

120 replies

Tapoopoo · 14/08/2026 08:59

I decided a long time ago to not sponsor people eg charity sky dives.

If I sponsor one person I have to sponsor everyone.
I dont always agree with the charities and sonetimes actively dont want to support them.
Limited funds.
Why should I pay for someone to have a jolly? If they want to jump out of a plane, then they should pay for it.
I have seen a few people get quite aggressive/guilt trippy when people say no.
I have tried to fund raise once. The same people I have sponsored in the past were not intetested. I ended up paying most of the sponsorship myself, which I genuinely don't mind (see previous point) but it did stick in my throat.
When I made this decision I had a couple of charity DDs set up. I dont now. I do still give to charity ad hoc.
If I'm honest, I just dont want to. I dont like being asked for money.

I now manage a large number of staff, some of whom are serial fund raisers. I still don't sponsor them (luckily they have never asked me directly and I think they've realised I don't). My staff know I earn about £6000 more than them.

My manager has criticised me for this and thinks I should sponsor them. They sponsor them about £10 a go. They do this for optics, not because they necessarily support what they are doing. If I'd sponsored them at £10 a go, so far I'd have spent at least £120 this year (that I know of).

YABU - you should support your staff. Dont be so mean, it's for charity.
YANBU - you shouldnt be guilt tripped into donating money if you dont want to.

OP posts:
AndTheSnakesStartToSing · 15/08/2026 10:30

Depends on what their ‘story’ is, what they are doing and who they’re raising money for. For me I have to feel like they are genuinely doing it to raise money for a good cause that matters to them in some way if I’m going to part with my money. Not that there needs to be sob story, but maybe they know someone going through cancer or have been through it themselves or maybe they feel passionate about helping homeless people. If it comes across like they just want to do a skydive for fun and the fundraising is just an add-on I’m not interested.

Most of the ones I’ve come across usually involve doing some sort of walk/run. The most extreme one was someone abseiling down the side of a building but it was for a cause that was important to them and a one time thing. Most of the time I do end up donating something, more likely to if it’s someone I know and the charity matters to me too.

patooties · 15/08/2026 10:00

I sponsor people a tenner a throw. They remember and are more likely to do favours for me if I do!

Tapoopoo · 15/08/2026 09:55

Ladyfromthehill · 14/08/2026 21:25

The second one is a bit sad, but hopefully people feel the same way about you and when you leave no one will want to organise anything for you and they won't waste time and energy.
But yabnu about the collections for charity, there are loads of ways to get involved

Meh. I wouldn't expect anything. In fact a "cherio. Have a nice life" is perfectly acceptable for me. Maybe even preferable.

Someone retired recently but didnt tell anyone (apart from their bosses obviously) and everyone only found out when he sent a mass email on his last day. I'd love to do that but it actually upset a lot of people who'd worked with him for years so I know I can't do it.

Having said that, if you read my post you'll see that I recognise the importance of this for my staff so will make sure it happens.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 15/08/2026 07:59

I sponsor depending on what they’re doing and who they’re raising money for.

A friend, who is trying to get healthier and hates walking, is currently doing a sponsored walk that is effectively the distance between two hospices that helped her son when he was, very unexpectedly diagnosed as terminally ill and through his last month. It’s a proper challenge for her, physically and emotionally, and there’s no costs being skimmed off for an expensive activity, plus the hospices make amazing use of the money donated to them. So I sponsored her.

another friend doing her 14th sky dive for a random charity I’ve never heard of just because she loves sky diving - nope

AgnesMcDoo · 15/08/2026 07:50

Your choice.

I sponsor family and close friends.

I support charities I care about.

WobblyBoots · 15/08/2026 07:48

I only do it really specific circumstances but otherwise no. I have a couple of charities I donate to monthly and prefer to focus the money there.

I also love running and do a few half marathons a year. People always ask why I don't take up charity spots to raise money but I genuinely couldn't ask people for money to do something that I do as part of my life in general. It's also hard to ask for money in general as cost of living is so high people just don't have it. I'm not knocking people who do run for charities at all as they are raising money and awareness but in my specific circumstances it would feel weird.

OutOfTheOtherSide · 15/08/2026 07:42

NotAnotherScarf · 15/08/2026 07:23

I think you are missing the point of this thread, its not anti charity, it anti using the excuse its for charity to do something interesting or exciting and having their costs paid for.

In the example I gave, the charity organises regular long distance bike rides, event nights ...nothing that has much to actually do of the charity's work.

Personally I give monthly to a charity which I know has a proven track record.

My wife gives about 6 hours a week to a charity. I've been heavily involved in two charity's in the past using a weeks annual leave to run one of them. All without reward apart from a meal a day when I was there from 7 to 7.

The example you gave raised £3k for charity. How can that ever be a negative? So what if people had fun or achieved something along the way? It's win/win. The fact you know about these 'jollies' means the charities get double the value from them - i.e. money and awareness. Asking people to simply give them money doesn't particularly raise awareness. Having a team of people wearing branded stuff and talking about the charity at the top of a mountain does. That's why they do it. It is brilliant marketing.

You're claiming this thread is not anti-charity. Any negativity around charity is anti-charity. The very last thing charities need now is people slating them for making £3k whilst raising awareness for their charity. Surely you must understand that?

bellventrico · 15/08/2026 07:40

Yes - DH and I almost always sponsor people we know who are raising money. I'm more generous if it's a big effort or a charity I'm interested in. also do monthly (small) DDs to charities for homeless, animals, NHS ambulance, children and international aid. I'm comfortably off - it's the least I can do as don't do fun raising myself.

sesquipedalian · 15/08/2026 07:37

@ RemindMeIn15Minutes -
“I’ve known a few people do sponsored stuff for charity and that event has cost a fuck ton of money to participate in. My thought is that the person involved should just donate that amount to charity themselves.”

I once read a great comment in a newspaper, where someone said they had been approached by friends’ children to sponsor the type of charity event you describe, who said he had asked how much it was costing to participate, and had then offered to donate double that amount to the charity if they didn’t go. He said he had yet to be taken up on the offer.

Error404FucksNotFound · 15/08/2026 07:32

No.
If i want to give money to charity id rather they get all of it.
Same reason I won't donate via chuggers

IzzyGone · 15/08/2026 07:29

I raised money this year for a particular cause.

I paid for the event myself, then it was a just giving page people could donate to that went directly to the cause/charity

i wasn’t aware of something like just giving paying out money to the people taking part?

I also purchased a t shirt with the charity logo and had to pay the charity £50 to take part

Member984815 · 15/08/2026 07:23

I do sponsor people , we were once in a position where we needed to repatriate a family members body and the kevin bell repatriation fund helped us do that and they operate by charity fundraising. We did a fundraising event for this and I was blown away by people's kindness. I'd always support this cause .

NotAnotherScarf · 15/08/2026 07:23

OutOfTheOtherSide · 14/08/2026 17:19

Charities have been hit really hard recently as a result of government policy and this thread makes it evident that there is so much misunderstanding around fundraising that their tough times will go on.

For reference, if you give money, you are not funding 'a jolly' or a 'walk from a to b' or a 'mountain climb'. You are supporting a charity which desperately needs cash. The person that goes on the jolly/walk/mountain climb is doing it to both raise money and awareness, (and in part to counter the stupidity of people who think they're doing it for 'a jolly').

It makes me so angry to see people proactively being negative about something as wonderful and important as charity by sharing such ill-informed views. Please think before you type!

I think you are missing the point of this thread, its not anti charity, it anti using the excuse its for charity to do something interesting or exciting and having their costs paid for.

In the example I gave, the charity organises regular long distance bike rides, event nights ...nothing that has much to actually do of the charity's work.

Personally I give monthly to a charity which I know has a proven track record.

My wife gives about 6 hours a week to a charity. I've been heavily involved in two charity's in the past using a weeks annual leave to run one of them. All without reward apart from a meal a day when I was there from 7 to 7.

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 15/08/2026 07:20

nor will I sponsor kids going ‘I’m going to Africa for 10 day to build a school’ as again I see this as a glorified holiday.

It's not even a glorified holiday; it IS just a holiday. A lot of the building projects are just designed to keep them busy whilst the funding is coming in, and are deconstructed again once they've gone back home. Would you want children building permanent structures for you? Neither do the Africans; like us, they have plenty of highly-skilled adult workers.

Cookiesunderthesofa · 15/08/2026 07:07

If someone I know wants to raise money for a charity that is genuinely important to them I’ll sponsor. Eg if Susie just lost her mum to cancer and has decided to run a marathon in her honour to raise money in honour of her mum - I will happily sponsor her.

I will not sponsor someone throwing themselves out of a plane or trecking through mountains for a charity they barely know what it does as they basically want someone else to fund their experience or hobby and the whole charity is just a way to have a go.

nor will I sponsor kids going ‘I’m going to Africa for 10 day to build a school’ as again I see this as a glorified holiday.

support the people and charities that you want to. Never feel guilty for not funding other people’s experiences.

your money . Your business.

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 15/08/2026 06:54

Add to that the donations are all online & once the charity has your details you can be harassed for years!

Yes, this is important too. Charities will always frame it that anybody giving to them is a passionate supporter of their work and will want to give again/regularly... when in fact, you may just have chucked them a few quid because a friend/family member/colleague was hassling or guilting you into it - and even then, that person may not actually care that much about that particular charity, but just used it as an 'in' to doing the event that they wanted to get to do.

Whilst gift aid is a great way of increasing the value of your free-will donations to charity, it's also an extra gift to the charities themselves insofar as they then have your name and address, which they can then use to keep contacting you asking for more. This is why charities are glad that the days of people throwing a few coins anonymously into a bucket are in decline.

MermaidMummy06 · 14/08/2026 22:59

I only give to a small, local, privately run charity that does incredible things for the needy in our community. We are occasionally cornered into giving by colleagues or friends, after they approach us directly & ask. Otherwise, no. I'm not paying for someone to do a fun activity and get attention from it. Do something difficult and unfun, like directly helping people, then I will. A lot of your donation goes on admin or to the external company running the event anyway.

Add to that the donations are all online & once the charity has your details you can be harassed for years!

whiteroseredrose · 14/08/2026 22:53

Not generally. As a PP said, often people want to do an activity and use a charity to do it. No interest in the charity itself.

One of the school mums wanted to run the London marathon but didn’t get in the ballot so she found a charity place which required about £4k from memory. We got loads of messages about how important this charity was etc and how much she wanted to support it. I had recently inherited so offered £10k on the proviso that she stayed home and didn’t run it. She declined. So obviously the charity wasn’t that important .

I give to several charities of my choice via Give as you Earn at work and will respond directly to campaigns. If I do ‘sponsor’ someone eg a neighbour who did a 5k, I donate directly to the charity not via Just Giving which added a ‘tip’ cheeky buggers.

NotMyRealAccount · 14/08/2026 22:02

If I was in a managerial position at work I would have a blanket embargo on sponsoring colleagues for doing things for charity. Sponsoring some challenges but not others, or giving more for bigger challenges, or giving the same amount whatever the magnitude of the challenge, all have the potential to cause resentment in the workplace.

(I sponsor friends to do hard things for good causes quite frequently.)

Seashor · 14/08/2026 21:53

I am so pleased to read this thread , I thought it was just me. Rupert and Amerlie off to save the third world when they can’t get themselves to sixth form college , but want sponsorship… F off!!!!!

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 14/08/2026 21:50

Tapoopoo · 14/08/2026 20:47

Not sure about that. It's the only place that has ever charged me extra to gift aid my entry fee (which is why I remember it) and from memory the forms say you wont be charged extra.

I don't know, then - that was how one explained it to me once. They may have been 'stretching the truth', I suppose! Maybe they sometimes just reckon that, if you've gone far enough to sign a GA form, they can tap you for more whilst they're at it?!

TY78910 · 14/08/2026 21:41

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/08/2026 21:22

I don’t think you should be obligated to - but you also shouldn’t scrutinise those that do fundraise

I'll have to respectfully disagree there, @TY78910
Though it may depend on what kind of scrutiny you mean, we're talking about other people's money given in good faith here, and personally I've always considered myself fully accountable to those who've been generous enough to give

Do you mean in cases when somebody fundraises and doesn’t go through with the (marathon, skydive whatever)? Or that you don’t believe the charity will do what they pledge to do?

GinaandGin · 14/08/2026 21:30

Nope
Especially not... these hike the Andres/ trek the great wall of China
I'm not funding sporty Susan's hobby
Esp not when the ceo s of these charities are on ridiculous salaries

Ladyfromthehill · 14/08/2026 21:25

Tapoopoo · 14/08/2026 09:44

I was thinking about the leaving/significant event collections.

I also say no to those too. If I like someone enough to donate, I'd rather just do sonething privately for them.

I do appreciate that I need to change that approach for my staff and I will need to donate (and possibly organise if no one else does - shudder) but it will still be no for anything beyond that.

The second one is a bit sad, but hopefully people feel the same way about you and when you leave no one will want to organise anything for you and they won't waste time and energy.
But yabnu about the collections for charity, there are loads of ways to get involved

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/08/2026 21:22

I don’t think you should be obligated to - but you also shouldn’t scrutinise those that do fundraise

I'll have to respectfully disagree there, @TY78910
Though it may depend on what kind of scrutiny you mean, we're talking about other people's money given in good faith here, and personally I've always considered myself fully accountable to those who've been generous enough to give