AIBU to discuss GCSE and A-level realities with my Year 8 daughter?

Is she on a reduced subject timetable otherwise? I’m wondering if given her history and health needs the school would allow her to drop a subject now and use that time in school to work on her maths. Might need to be independently, but there are so many resources around nowadays.

Has her maths teacher written her off based on SATs already? She sounds amazing and has a great work ethic and motivation, so don’t squash that. She’s done brilliantly in SATs given get attendance has been as low as 10-50% and all the trauma and worry about her health problems for years. No wonder you’re so proud of her. Great that you’re helping, but consider a tutor if you can? You seem to be doing your bit too to help though. If not a tutor, would some books help with exercises to work through help?

I don’t think you need to do anything now, and if the school offers an options evening before she picks her choices, make sure you both go. My DD was very adamant on triple science. More than capable, but not needed for her future career choices and would not want to study it at college. At the options evening, the science teachers were very clear on the workload and commitment required. They discussed her maths capabilities and actually said to her that they thought that this element of things would let her down. They were honest, but a nice honest and explained things to her. This made things easier for me as I didn’t want to be the one to have such a frank discussion with her, knowing she would think I’m being negative about her abilities. She listened to her teachers, and chose a different subject instead.

Firstly, there’s a long way to go.

My dd was a plodder at year 8 stage, mainly because she didn’t like the school she was at. If you’d asked her teachers then what A level grades she would be likely to get, they’d have said “she won’t be doing A levels” (she got 4 B at A level and then a first in her degree)

Lots can change, she might click with maths. Could she get some extra tutoring/do more online practice with maths to improve her knowledge/practice her skills?

What is it exactly your DD wants to do as a career? Can you start to build in some contingency? For example, if she wants to be a vet, can you explore with her what she would need to become a veterinary nurse? I'm just thinking it would be good to have a Plan B, and feel positive about it, in case Plan A doesn't work out for whatever reason.

Sounds like she is just missing the content not lacking ability. Her current marks don’t reflect her ability due to missing schooling. I’d speak to her about her willingness to be tutored and do extra work.
It’s possible to catch up I’m thinking of children who arrive from abroad and then manage to catch up.

What sort of shit parent would write off their child age 12 and think they won't get a decent grade at maths gcse?!?!?

I'm a teacher in a secondary school. Lots of kids struggle with maths initially then grasp it before gcses.

My best mate was predicted an F at GCSE maths and got a B!! I tutored her and it all finally clicked into place!

With maths, if she's headed for a grade 4 then the school will be working on the missed foundations with her and that will get her to a 4. But she needs to go faster than that so she needs to be working outside of school.

What are her health issues?

I'd have the conversation with her so she knows what she needs in maths and has realistic expectations. From the angle of working towards it though, not 'its hard and so you shouldn't even try'!

Sounds like she is rather gifted if she managed those scores under that level of stress and with such incredibly low attendance. Don’t write her off.

I think you should offer her a maths tutor if you could afford it.

Can you get her a tutor for math? It sounds like she would be highly motivated. By the way, my mum didn’t want me to go to uni because I’d be upset when I failed. I went (STEM) and for a first class.

In year 8 and 9 I was in a low-middling set for English. Accelorated set (above top) for everything else.

Guess what my degree and MA were in? English.

I had a great teacher in year 9 who recognised that I had been divided into the lower set based on SATs and that my English had been growing in leaps and bounds since then. My year 10 teacher was amazing, she saw a spark in me and bolstered it. Her books are probably still covered in my writing.

Despite it being my worst subject at your DDs age I got one of the highest GCSE scores in the country in English Lit. I had won awards for my writing by A level and got a first from a top 10 uni in my degree.

I spent the last 10 years working as a writer before deciding to retrain.

There is so much time left for her to get better at Maths. Don’t ruin her self esteem and guarantee she doesn’t do well.

Get her some independent maths support. Assuming you are not a teacher she might need a different approach and feel less pressure or doubt from you

Ok, so a 98 in her SATs would generally be headed more for a grade 4 BUT if she achieved 98 despite missing a lot of school then that's a lot more positive.

I don't think you should be thinking of it as 'she isn't going to get a grade 7 and needs to be told' I think you need to reframe it as 'you want to do physics and because you missed a lot of school that means you have gaps in your maths that need filling - here's the plan on how we're going to achieve that'. Then you need to think about either hiring a tutor with that specific aim, or buying in resources and doing it yourself. It's most likely not going to happen if you just leave it up to the school.

Maths can be caught up on if she wants to do it? Has she had any tutoring, or weekend maths classes?